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manipulated by life

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posted on Jul, 7 2012 @ 06:53 PM
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I do not mean to be vague, but i don't want to get too in-depth. Lately a lot of things have been happening in my life that are pointing me to do a certain thing; the right thing. I know what is right and i know what people expect me to do. I'm angry, because i feel that when people think they know me and what they expect me to do, i want to do the exact opposite . Assuming that there are forces acting upon our lives ( which i am skeptical) i feel like i have been manipulated by life to do a certain thing and i just want to withdrawal and do the opposite. I'm just so pissed off at life right now. What the hell is wrong with me?




posted on Jul, 7 2012 @ 07:02 PM
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Nothing is wrong with you. I think most of us have been where you are now and it does indeed...suck.

We have things we want to do. We know what the right thing to do is...but sometimes we just want to do what we want to do and damn the consequences. The right thing to do, is generally the hardest. But it is harder still when you KNOW what you want to do, what you SHOULD do, and what other's EXPECT you to do, and it's just all crushed together in some kind of malicious vortex. It's like being pulled in a hundred different directions at once when you kind of just want to sit still for a bit. We are born into other's expectations, so feeling manipulated at times would be normal IMO.

I can't really help. I wish I could do more than tell you that you aren't alone. all I can say is...I hope whatever your decision/s are that you can come to terms with it eventually. And sometimes it is ok to disappoint others when they expect too much.

Sorry I can't offer more.
edit on 7/7/2012 by Kangaruex4Ewe because: (no reason given)



posted on Jul, 7 2012 @ 07:12 PM
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Originally posted by oneness86
I do not mean to be vague, but i don't want to get too in-depth. Lately a lot of things have been happening in my life that are pointing me to do a certain thing; the right thing. I know what is right and i know what people expect me to do. I'm angry, because i feel that when people think they know me and what they expect me to do, i want to do the exact opposite . Assuming that there are forces acting upon our lives ( which i am skeptical) i feel like i have been manipulated by life to do a certain thing and i just want to withdrawal and do the opposite. I'm just so pissed off at life right now. What the hell is wrong with me?


Stop beating yourself up. Change your avatar.



posted on Jul, 7 2012 @ 07:13 PM
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I understand how you feel. I never do what I'm told even if it's for my own good. Several years back I was in the same place. I felt as if I was being forced into a situation and mind you it wasn't a bad one I just don't like being pushed is all. Now I keep feeling as if I am in the wrong place at the wrong time doing the wrong thing. My life has been a constant struggle full of strife and I keep going back to that point and wondering what if? I can't tell you what to do because if you are like me no one can tell you what to do. Looking back i don't think I could have made any other choice. That just who I am. I wish you luck no matter what road you take.



posted on Jul, 7 2012 @ 07:15 PM
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I know exactly how you feel. I often ponder about my own reality and the inevitable 'self fulfilling prophecys' that play out right before my eyes. Sometimes I feel like I'm just an observer of myself stuck in a body. Powerless over the flow of 'fate' but at the same time, empowered by the choices I make that lead to my ultimate destination. Like in control but completely out of control

reply to post by oneness86
 



posted on Jul, 7 2012 @ 07:20 PM
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Originally posted by oneness86
I do not mean to be vague, but i don't want to get too in-depth. Lately a lot of things have been happening in my life that are pointing me to do a certain thing; the right thing. I know what is right and i know what people expect me to do. I'm angry, because i feel that when people think they know me and what they expect me to do, i want to do the exact opposite . Assuming that there are forces acting upon our lives ( which i am skeptical) i feel like i have been manipulated by life to do a certain thing and i just want to withdrawal and do the opposite. I'm just so pissed off at life right now. What the hell is wrong with me?


You should read "Notes from the Underground" by Fyodor Dostoyevsky. It's a short read and basically parallels what what you are going through. You will, at some point, have to get over this feeling.



posted on Jul, 7 2012 @ 07:28 PM
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Originally posted by oneness86
I do not mean to be vague, but i don't want to get too in-depth. Lately a lot of things have been happening in my life that are pointing me to do a certain thing; the right thing. I know what is right and i know what people expect me to do. I'm angry, because i feel that when people think they know me and what they expect me to do, i want to do the exact opposite . Assuming that there are forces acting upon our lives ( which i am skeptical) i feel like i have been manipulated by life to do a certain thing and i just want to withdrawal and do the opposite. I'm just so pissed off at life right now. What the hell is wrong with me?


It sounds like you care too much what others think. I was there. And then one day something broke inside of me. My mind screamed "NO MORE!"

No, I will not go to weddings. No, I will not go to wakes (burials, but not wakes). No, I will not celebrate valentine's day, Easter, mother's day, father's day, Fourth of July fireworks, veteran's day, Memorial day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New year's day, birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, christenings, school plays... No, I will not go to dances. No, I will not go get drunk. No, I will not go to parades. No, I will not go to cookouts, family reunions, office parties...

No, I will not help you paint your house, help you move, help you set up the pool, taxi your kids around...

Jeez, it's too much!

Sure, if someone is sick I'll be right there to take of them, but other than that I've let it be known to leave me the hell alone!



posted on Jul, 7 2012 @ 07:37 PM
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Originally posted by jiggerj

Originally posted by oneness86
I do not mean to be vague, but i don't want to get too in-depth. Lately a lot of things have been happening in my life that are pointing me to do a certain thing; the right thing. I know what is right and i know what people expect me to do. I'm angry, because i feel that when people think they know me and what they expect me to do, i want to do the exact opposite . Assuming that there are forces acting upon our lives ( which i am skeptical) i feel like i have been manipulated by life to do a certain thing and i just want to withdrawal and do the opposite. I'm just so pissed off at life right now. What the hell is wrong with me?


It sounds like you care too much what others think. I was there. And then one day something broke inside of me. My mind screamed "NO MORE!"

No, I will not go to weddings. No, I will not go to wakes (burials, but not wakes). No, I will not celebrate valentine's day, Easter, mother's day, father's day, Fourth of July fireworks, veteran's day, Memorial day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New year's day, birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, christenings, school plays... No, I will not go to dances. No, I will not go get drunk. No, I will not go to parades. No, I will not go to cookouts, family reunions, office parties...

No, I will not help you paint your house, help you move, help you set up the pool, taxi your kids around...

Jeez, it's too much!

Sure, if someone is sick I'll be right there to take of them, but other than that I've let it be known to leave me the hell alone!





I think I just fell in love with you...


Seriously though, you do have a good point. I don't think I ever heard my mom tell anyone NO (except us kids) until I was grown. She near to had a breakdown running herself ragged. She has been a much happier person since she learned how to say NO. A lot of folks have this problem and it is naught but running yourself to death on a hamster wheel because people will continually use you for whatever they can get.



posted on Jul, 7 2012 @ 07:55 PM
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Originally posted by Kangaruex4Ewe

I think I just fell in love with you...


Seriously though, you do have a good point. I don't think I ever heard my mom tell anyone NO (except us kids) until I was grown. She near to had a breakdown running herself ragged. She has been a much happier person since she learned how to say NO. A lot of folks have this problem and it is naught but running yourself to death on a hamster wheel because people will continually use you for whatever they can get.


With all the birthdays in my family, if I went to all of them, along with all of the other things I mentioned I'd have to celebrate something two days a week for six months and one day a week for the other six. It's just got insane!



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