Thanks for the kind words. I was going to continue but, it is quite emotional and I'm busy with family today, but I have a spare half hour.
On receipt of the news, my brother let out an almost animalistic groan, recoiling in his chair. I however, placed my head in my hands, pretty silent
really. I was in a state of shock and relief that something would finally be done and this thing that has effected me for the last 5 years has finally
I was not allowed to leave the Hospital grounds, I was put on a high dosage of steroids immediately, this is to stop the swelling in the brain. It
also has the effect of making you extremely pumped up.
I phoned my parents who had started to worry something was wrong and my girlfriend too, who also knew something was wrong. The calls were short but
emotional. My parents were at home about an hour away and my girlfriend was on the train back up to University in Manchester. They were all with me
with a few hours. My girlfriends father was the first on the scene. My girlfriends parents lived near the hospital and I had grown as fond of them as
I had their daughter, so it was extremely emotional to embrace someone close.
Within hours I had most of my family and friends from all parts of the country down. I had some tests and was allowed to go out to a restaurant down
the road for some food. I had a protective bubble of friends and family around me. I had become very emotional at this point and was breaking down
every time I saw a new friend or family member appear . It was the look in their eyes that just set me off. A sadness and a shocked look. It's hard
work crying so many tears, but it does make you feel better.
At the time I remember saying that, I had had life pretty easy until now and now I was going to have to face a fight. I'm young and fit and should
be up for the fight. the steroids definitely helped with this attitude. They had their downsides too
My girlfriend and I spent a very uncomfortable night in my hospital room. It was a single matress with a plastic lining on it that we kept getting
stuck to. We decided it to drag it to the floor to make it a little more comfortable for 2. It was tough to sleep I was pumped on steroids, sweating
and facing a life or death situation, not to mention the bell toll of Big Ben every 15 mins, just there to remind you how long you'd been awake.
The following morning, I was up and eager to get started. I wanted this thing out of my head as soon as possible. I had more tests and examinations .
One doctor whilst checking me out told me "we can perform miracles now".
I wasn't sure how to take this as an agnostic. I wasn't really relying on miracles but good old science. Still it was one of just many remarks people
would make that seem to last in my memory.
I was sent over to the National Brain institute in Russell square London that evening, where I was to operated on the Monday. By this time most of my
family and friends were in London, either by my side or in the surrounding pubs and restaurants dealing with the news the best they knew how. No one
really knew how to react. It was a new situation for everyone.
When I arrived at Russell Square the sense of lonliness seemed to grip me. Here I was surrounded by my nearest and dearest and yet never felt so
alone. I knew no one who had ever been through anything like this, never been in hospitals before never known anyone with cancer. I just wanted to
see someone else in the hospital who was in the same situation. I was put onto a ward with a guy who had been beaten up really badly, a young kid who
was asleep all the time and some old lonely guy who snoored. Never really knew what was wrong with him.
After my first night things got more serious. I was taken for scans and had my brain mapped out on a 3d computer. I had to sign forms, consenting to
the surgery. The survival rate was in the 90% range so I wasn't concerned about the surgery. The doctors and consultants at the Royal Institue are so
professional, you can't help trusting their every word. They seem to have a gravitas to their words that instills confidence in their ability. They
are brain surgeons after all.
So on the saturday morning I am allowed out on to the Garden in Russell Square, we arranged a picknick, with all my friends making some food. It was
quite an amazing day and one that I will remember for the rest of my life.
We took over the garden with about 40-50 of us, friends had come from all over the country. It was almost like everyone you would expect at your
funeral, but you can enjoy it while your still alive. It was a beautiful day despite what I was going through. The whole time at the hospital had some
amazing moments for my friends and family who all bonded over the experience.
edit on 7-7-2012 by woodwardjnr because: (no reason given)