Life knowing THE TRIth

Im 35.. grew up..having not a clue about the truth of life.. Negative/ non-existent father .. naive mother.. sibling rivalry with 1 older and 2 younger twin brothers..

Was bullied in middle school, became a jock and part of the cool group in HS.

Raised catholic. Went through all confirmation and #..

Went to college.

Got my BS

Moved across the country from NY to FL to be a HS teacher.

Lasted a while...

Then I discovered the TRUTH.

I live my life wishing I never took the blue pill (Matrix reference)

Since educating myself and understanding the world and how it REALLY is.. the corporate govt, corp media.. 911.. false flags, the patheticness and ignorance of the 'sheeple'...

once upon a time, i had a beauty inside of me.. i wonder.. what happened to the beauty i had inside of me.. (U2 quote)...

I want to refind myself who I was.. but I cant.. People I know call me bitter, and I should find something else to spend my life concentrating on.. But I JUST CANT. I cant just ignore my common sense.

now.. doctors have diagnosed as bipolar.. which is true since i get extremem highs and lows.. it sucks... it drives me insane knowing what WE know... sometimes I wish i never 'KNEW' or 'UNDERSTOOD'

They put me on antidepressants which worked for a few years, but now.. suicidal.. a side effect i know.. but I dont know where to turn to now..

Any advice?

Welcome to ATS!


reply to post by sckott

reply to post by sckott


Welcome to ATS...you'll find many kindred Souls here. There are some wonderful threads dealing with depression, which I've gone though too, in the ATS Health forums . All you need to do is ask a question, many kind people who do care, respond with their nuggets they've mined through their own journeys. You won't feel so alone.

May you find what you are looking for here....

Des

Welcome to ATS. I'm sorry to hear of your depression. If you ever need to talk, log on and dive in. There are plenty of good folks here that will help as much as possible. I know what you mean about sometimes thinking, "Wish I didn't know now, what I didn't know then" It can be very frustrating. But, there are many here to discuss all these things, day or night. Look forward to your threads.

reply to post by sckott


Welcome, and I'm sorry life is so disappointing and overwhelming for you right now.

I won't promise it will get better , and the only advice i can give you is to not focus on all the crap out there, ALL of the time.

Go back inside yourself ,and find that magic , in the simplicity of nature, kindness, anything positive that you can find.

I'm just learning how to let go of bitterness, especially about issues, and situations I can do little about. If you can do something , in a positive way, to change what is wrong with this world, focus on that.

Its the little things that can mean a lot to others. An understanding word, a kind gesture, forgiving others for hurting you. These are the things that will heal and change this world.

Sometimes trying to look for the good things that can make life worth living can seem impossible, but they are there, and often in the simplest ways.

Many members here are here for you, so hang in there, and keep on keepin on.

U2U me if you need an ear , or a shoulder to just vent on.

Can't promise I can always help, but I can promise I will care.

Originally posted by sckott
I live my life wishing I never took the blue pill (Matrix reference)

Thanks for the heads up on the Matrix reference...I would never have caught on until you dropped that gem!
Welcome to ATS. My advice to you is to chill out, live life and enjoy you family and friends, you're just now understanding a reality that many of us figured out a decade ago. Everyone goes through the "Everything I was taught is a lie" stage...lol Don't be consumed by it, I've seen it break people.

As for advice, don't tell anyone to "wake up" on here...It get's old.

Question for you... What is the TRIth?

Thanks for all your support everyone.. Ive been a lurker for prob 5-6 years..its taken that long for me to get to the point where I am now..

reply to post by sckott


I have gone through all of the same feelings and emotions you have my friend.

I would suggest to you that you get a clear understanding of how our universe works now that you have a clear understanding of how our world works.

Once you start using these fundamental laws in a purposeful and conscious way......well......that's where the fun begins.

You have figured out that this world, as it sits, SUCKS!!!
Now, help make it better.

Just my 2 cents.

Originally posted by sckott
Thanks for all your support everyone.. Ive been a lurker for prob 5-6 years..its taken that long for me to get to the point where I am now..

Well...we're glad you finally took the plunge and joined.....

Des

reply to post by sckott


I know it's hard to find our center when our minds are being relentlessly attacked by social insanity: war, corruption (in business and in government), by an ocean of ignorance everywhere we turn.

That's why we have to take moments and shut off all of this craziness, to remember that we have a right to exist, to sit and ponder what is real (at least to us). I go outside at night to enjoy a smoke - that's real. The coffee at my side is real. The stars shimmering across the cosmos don't lie. The calmness in my mind is the truth.

Then I get back in the game.

Edit to add: This video is exactly where you are at. I strongly suggest if you don't watch any other video watch this one. I have been doing this conspiracy thing for a very long time and it was this video that helped me out of the dark pit of oblivion created by understanding the truth of the World we live in. Without this video I think I would still be in a dark world or worse. It is not a religious video only truth.

reply to post by sckott


You need to just try to get rid of every negative thing in your life. Sometimes you feel like things will never get better but they will and there is always another way out besides suicide.

reply to post by Agarta


Thank you. although im still on the fritz about reprilians.. i did watch and listen to teh the entire video and 90 percent of it it home. i shall watch it again. i have friends/acquiaintences/family that dont give me the time of day... and a stranger who listens and understands means alot. Thank youl.

its funny and ironic i say that.. because it souncs liike im brainwashing myself as if you were god. no offense meant.. but i feel liike a sheeple looking for answers,.

Originally posted by sckott
its funny and ironic i say that.. because it souncs liike im brainwashing myself as if you were god. no offense meant.. but i feel liike a sheeple looking for answers,.

Might be an idea to get off the sheeple mindset.

Everyone's a sheeple to a degree, even those who try to treat us like sheeple, are sheeples themselves, to their "higher" powers.

Life on earth has become a game of who you can trust, because so many play games, and think they are cool because they pull one over on some trusting soul. Unfortunately the virtues of trust ,and honesty are dwindling, which is sad, because without them, this world will only go from bad to worse.

For all we know, you could be some member on here playing head games with 5 ID's, for shyts and giggles, so do we become worse "sheeple" because we choose to trust what you tell us?

Originally posted by WhisperingWinds
reply to post by sckott

 

Welcome, and I'm sorry life is so disappointing and overwhelming for you right now.

I won't promise it will get better , and the only advice i can give you is to not focus on all the crap out there, ALL of the time.

Go back inside yourself ,and find that magic , in the simplicity of nature, kindness, anything positive that you can find.

I'm just learning how to let go of bitterness, especially about issues, and situations I can do little about. If you can do something , in a positive way, to change what is wrong with this world, focus on that.

Its the little things that can mean a lot to others. An understanding word, a kind gesture, forgiving others for hurting you. These are the things that will heal and change this world.

Sometimes trying to look for the good things that can make life worth living can seem impossible, but they are there, and often in the simplest ways.

Many members here are here for you, so hang in there, and keep on keepin on.

U2U me if you need an ear , or a shoulder to just vent on.

Can't promise I can always help, but I can promise I will care.

edit on 6-7-2012 by WhisperingWinds because: (no reason given)

Thank you so much for posting these kind caring words I hope the OP
takes your advice as I will. I only wish I had a friend like you that I could talk to.
Your family and friends are very lucky to have you in their life!
Good luck OP sending healing thoughts over to you!

reply to post by starlitestarbrite


If you need someone to talk to the invitation is extended to you as well.

Plenty of like minded fellows ATS'ers here for you...

Look to your own spirituality, realize that this life experience only lasts on average about
thirty thousand days, and as unhappy and disappointing as some of it is, you do not have
to burden yourself with making a big difference...just do what you can with what you have
and live, and love, and grow...and by following your heart YOU WILL make a difference

reply to post by sckott


Research everything, take nothing for granted, follow your heart, and never stand down unless it's to win a greater battle.

Best of luck to you, newly awakened one.

I feel the agony your saying.When my mind woke up (drugs possibly or 9/11 possibly.) I went on a vision quest and found more than I wanted about our lives. I dont know if the gov (dhs) diagnosed you or a private pyschy did. But the gov (dhs/cmh) diagnosed me with a mental illness thats a step up from bipolar, yet im saner than the next in line.My eyes are to put it, are opened. ten years ive been struggling with gov narcotics also and I cant escape it. Suicidal trips is very common with these narcs they come and go. Its the strength you need to have to wake up that day and not tomorrow. Hopefully your on the thin side. the narcs are keeping me from losing my weight I've literally have lost over 300 pounds in the last 13 years and Im still at 270 never weighed more than 280. My psychy wants me to be over-weight. she wants me to lose and submit. everything I know is like a sin to them.
ps and sa is what Im diagnosed with.

To ATS
if you dont know much about DHS/CMH they hire what I call cheap labor. Every office are hired middle easterns or someone of brown skin. What I know of them they are close minded individuals who think they are mighty and will hold you in there grasp so that they can make that paycheck off of your 10 minute visit.

Thanks sckott and wish you the best