I Brought You Into This World. I can Take You Out...

Originally posted by MagesticEsoteric
reply to post by sonnny1

 

HA! Don't you mean a kindle....or whatever the crap they are called. Books are so old school....even though I cannot imagine not holding a book and turning the pages as I read. Oh how I dread the day our books become extinct.

One good blast from the sun, could change our world forever..........

I also believe Parents should take their children to Libraries. My Parents took me. My kids love the library.

Originally posted by nenothtu

Originally posted by MagesticEsoteric

The funniest thing I remember my mother saying (b/c it just never made sense, although it did) was...It will stop hurting when the pain goes away.

Really....isn't that a given?????

My dad used to tell me - whether it was a gash, a sting, a broken bone, or whatever - that "It'll feel alright when it quits hurtin' ".

It generally made me look at him like he's just stepped off a flying saucer or something.

Are You Serious???? You are the first person that I have EVER encountered in my life that heard a similar saying to what I heard growing up!

That is awesome...crap, we might be related!?????

Originally posted by sonnny1

Originally posted by MagesticEsoteric
reply to post by sonnny1

 

HA! Don't you mean a kindle....or whatever the crap they are called. Books are so old school....even though I cannot imagine not holding a book and turning the pages as I read. Oh how I dread the day our books become extinct.

One good blast from the sun, could change our world forever..........

I also believe Parents should take their children to Libraries. My Parents took me. My kids love the library.

Good point about the solar flare!

I Love going to the library....as do my boys! They actually consider it a treat....go figure.

reply to post by Kangaruex4Ewe





I normally don't post a reply before reading the whole thread, but in this instance i have

made an exception as your op made me chuckle

Many a time when my daughers were growing up i would often snap out of sheer frustration

"because i said so"

When one of my daughters had her own daughter she was so pc and vowed her daughter

would get a FULL explanation and she would NEVER say "because i said so."

There was many a time i would grit my teeth as i sat through these LONG drawn out

explanations that went on and on and on when the matter could have been closed very

quickly by some descisive action on my daughters part!...So imagine the look on my face

when one day such a discussion was going on in the kitchen and i very clearly heard

"BECAUSE I SAID SO"

And i have to agree with you parents are parenting a LOT less these days...After all

would you let anyone on the road in a car without some sort of instruction? yet some are

prepared to release their children into the world without any sort of preparation!

My mom was never one to freak out over small injuries, if we were doing something stupid and we ended up with a skinned knee or something like that she would always look it over then the give us the "mom look" and say "well I bet you won't do that again" lol...Usually we didn't.

One of my brothers once attempted the threat of I calling the cops. My mom quietly responded:

Fine go ahead, but be warned, by law I only have to give a few change of cloths, 3 square meals a day, a bed to sleep on. By tomorrow morning you will loose your game system, all your posters/ decorations, any access to game systems and so on. You will be down to a mattress on the floor, one outfit for everyday of the week and a bedroom with no door.

lol, needless to say he didn't call the cops.

Originally posted by Forgoten_Whisper
and a bedroom with no door.

Wow!!! for a teenager thats got to be the most frightening thing in the whole universe

Haha funny topic...

I remember when i was maybe 10 or so, I called my dad a dildo...

That didnt go over very well... Damn older kids and their words got me in trouble!

My Mom had a saying when she was upset: "That's enough to make a preacher cuss." She never did. She didn't know any cuss words.

When my youngest brother was 6 his older brother taught him the word "fart." He walked in the kitchen and said: "This kitchen smells like a fart." My mom was thrilled that her little boy was so intelligent. He was using words she didn't know........



....until she found out what it meant.

reply to post by Kangaruex4Ewe

Nice thread K4E, and great contributions from others. It does seem like times have changed significantly, both for parents and kids. I too have experienced my share of corporeal punishment that was well deserved, but my father also made me understand the error of my ways not only through punishment and talks, but looking back, perhaps the biggest influence was the example he led. He had a great work ethic and used to encourage me to run at work, take pride in my work and seek the path to advancement in my jobs.

I think the times have changed so much that in a negative sense, kids are more distracted and less able or encouraged to, have lengthy thoughts of continuity, where they can think, imagine and solve problems that require more than multi tasking with a new phone app. I also think parents are having to work more, deal with politics shoved in their face and noticing(via modern media) all the negative facets of the modern world by being exposed to the more sensational and tragic activity all around us.

The institutions for learning have not evolved to accommodate the change in thinking and most school systems still teach as if kids still maintained an attention span like they used to. I took a psychophysiology course and we learned that back in the 50's, the average attention span was around 50-55 minutes, whereas today is around 15 minutes(this class was in 1998 too), yet the system has not changes and I think this is like putting a square peg in a circular hole. I think this is where a lot of these ADD cases are coming from. A stark representation of this can be noticed in watching today's media, when compared to earlier programming. I am a movie fan and watch various shows from different eras, and all the movies up to the late 90's were at a different pace. What I mean is, each scene that comes up, begin counting one thousand one, one thousand two, ect., and notice how with today's imagery, in commercials too, you never get past 3 seconds before a flash to another scene, whereas the older films have space to breath and allow the mind to build upon. I think this change is super significant and the jump has created a gap that so many fall into, then get prescribed medication for being unable to fit in an antiquated system that is juxtaposed with an ever rapidly increasing sensory experience.

Sorry about that little rant, but in the spirit of different times, it is parents, children and institutions that are struggling. There doesn't seem to be one page everyone can get on, there are too many variances all around. And yes, lack of a good spanking and coddling kids, does not help. Sometimes nothing else gets through like a good but whooping. Some of my favorite old adages are, "you made your bed, now you have to lay in it," " if Johnny decides to jump off of a bridge, does that mean you will too?" Or how about" eat all of your food, there are starving kids in Africa!" Also, my Dad always said "one of these days you are gonna thank me for being so hard on you," well guess what, at 45 I have told him numerous times thanks for steering me in the right direction.

Peace,
spec

My parents are always telling me things even now, but sometimes I just don't know. They don't talk to me much about anything anymore because they are constantly working fifteen hours or more.

My dad had told me not too long ago "If you do good things, good will come to you"

That was enough to make me think about all the decisions I make. There is probably a list of things they have said to me. My parents are very nice and don't really scold me at all. They occasionally give me life lessons about helping others, not letting people take advantage of me, to always solve the problem and never leave something undone. Although they don't tell me directly, I've begun to learn from them by simply observing and determining myself if that is something good or bad.

Parenting has certainly downgraded in the past years. I find myself shocked when they allow their children to buy rated M video games with killing, profanity, and violence.. I've seen the people at my school swear, treat each other horribly, and promote violence just to be cool. I've seen parents who let their children get what they want. But I just saw several and I bet it isn't the majority of parents.

Originally posted by sonnny1
reply to post by nenothtu

 

Same with my Father. Get a spanking, for almost burning down the house. That's what happens when you try to light fireworks,on the stove.

It was ALWAYS balance. It was ALWAYS a lesson. I have to say the one thing I really learned. The look. You know the one. Sometimes, that's all you need. Best lesson I always learned, next to giving your kid a big hug, and telling them you never want to lay a hand on them. I have my oldest daughter, who I NEVER had to lay a hand on her behind. Why? Because the look works......

Yup, "The Look". I never had to lay a hand on mine except one time after they got old enough to recognize "The Look". It took a few spankings early, but after that, they learned what happened following non-complianace with "The Look", and it never got that far except that once.

On that one occasion, my step son was yelling at his mother, reading her the riot act. he was a teenager at the time, thinking he ruled the world. I stepped outside and told him to knock it off and apologize to her, and he made the mistake of looking at me and saying "make me."

That earned him "the Look". Instead of apologizing, he took off running into the woods. Wrong move. I took after him. He was re-directing his course by grabbing saplings and slinging himself around them in a different direction, zig-zagging, thinking my old ass just wouldn't be able to keep up. I don't know where he thought he could go, or why he thought he wouldn't have to come home, but it didn't work that way. I watched him and instead of following the zig zags, I projected where they would take him, and went THERE instead of following his trail. Oops. Caught him.

I frog marched him back to the house and made him apologize to his mother, then sent him into the house to think about the hard labor he had coming for that escapade, and whether he thought it would be profitable for him to try and get out of the work.

Now, that didn't just teach him something, it taught his younger brother something, too. Years later, my son told me that incident was where HE learned that consequences can't be escaped.

it's a good thing to be able to learn from the mistakes of others, so that we don't have to make them ourselves.

After that, "The Look" has always worked for me with them.

Even now.

My grand dad had a unique system. he NEVER, EVER had to spank one of his kids. Not a one of them could ever recall being spanked. Grand dad would take off his cap and just swat it TOWARDS a misbehaving child, and they would immediately start crying, punishing themselves. It broke their hearts to think he was upset with them.

I've never seen the like elsewhere.

Originally posted by MagesticEsoteric

Are You Serious???? You are the first person that I have EVER encountered in my life that heard a similar saying to what I heard growing up!

That is awesome...crap, we might be related!?????

Might be. I'm a hillbilly from the Appalachians. So was dad, and he had all sorts of sayings like that. they only come to mind now when an incident arises that they would apply to, but they are THERE, just as soon as it does!

Originally posted by speculativeoptimist
I too have experienced my share of corporeal punishment that was well deserved, but my father also made me understand the error of my ways not only through punishment and talks,

Another time honored tactic - "the Talk".

I've had my kids say "you're not going to give me a 'talkin'-to' over that, are you?"

My own son once broke down in the middle of a "Talk" and said, exasperated, "can't you just spank me and get this over with?"

Originally posted by sonnny1
reply to post by nenothtu

 

Same with my Father. Get a spanking, for almost burning down the house. That's what happens when you try to light fireworks,on the stove.

It was ALWAYS balance. It was ALWAYS a lesson. I have to say the one thing I really learned. The look. You know the one. Sometimes, that's all you need. Best lesson I always learned, next to giving your kid a big hug, and telling them you never want to lay a hand on them. I have my oldest daughter, who I NEVER had to lay a hand on her behind. Why? Because the look works......

Geez!!! How did I forget THE LOOK??? My mom had that, and I found it came naturally when I had my own kids. It always worked quite well with my daughter too.

THE LOOK was enough to make most of us sit down, shut up, and consider a change of clothing. And God forbid if they had to give it to you in front of someone else!

Originally posted by eletheia
reply to post by Kangaruex4Ewe

 

I normally don't post a reply before reading the whole thread, but in this instance i have

made an exception as your op made me chuckle

Many a time when my daughers were growing up i would often snap out of sheer frustration

"because i said so"

When one of my daughters had her own daughter she was so pc and vowed her daughter

would get a FULL explanation and she would NEVER say "because i said so."

There was many a time i would grit my teeth as i sat through these LONG drawn out

explanations that went on and on and on when the matter could have been closed very

quickly by some descisive action on my daughters part!...So imagine the look on my face

when one day such a discussion was going on in the kitchen and i very clearly heard

"BECAUSE I SAID SO"

And i have to agree with you

parents are parenting a LOT less these days...After all

would you let anyone on the road in a car without some sort of instruction? yet some are

prepared to release their children into the world without any sort of preparation!

Thanks! I know exactly what you are talking about. I said I would change a thing or two as well, and found that the old school tactics worked just fine...the same as your daughter. I bet you laughed so hard when you heard her do that. My own Dad used to like to point out when I reverted to one of his tactics and say "Remember how much you hated that?" yessss...dad. I do.

The driving scenario is a good one. I always think about some kids having to learn some of the hardest lessons in the middle of a crowded/busy office at 30 while they are being humiliated and fired in front of everyone for something they should know better than doing. I don't think a lot of parents think that far ahead sometimes. I wish they did,

Originally posted by Forgoten_Whisper
My mom was never one to freak out over small injuries, if we were doing something stupid and we ended up with a skinned knee or something like that she would always look it over then the give us the "mom look" and say "well I bet you won't do that again" lol...Usually we didn't.

One of my brothers once attempted the threat of I calling the cops. My mom quietly responded:

Fine go ahead, but be warned, by law I only have to give a few change of cloths, 3 square meals a day, a bed to sleep on. By tomorrow morning you will loose your game system, all your posters/ decorations, any access to game systems and so on. You will be down to a mattress on the floor, one outfit for everyday of the week and a bedroom with no door.

lol, needless to say he didn't call the cops.

My dad used to say "Hurt like hell didn't it?", "Guess you won't be doing that again will you?" One of his other favorites was "Did you rip your pants?" Me "No." Dad "Then it will be ok won't it?" lol. I wrecked a car at 16 and wasn't injured, but he knew how upset I was. He came in the ER and asked if I ripped my pants as I sat on the stretcher with both pants legs cut all the way above the knee. The ER doc was not sure whether he should be concerned, but it made me laugh,

And I told my daughter once upon a time almost the same thing your mom told your brother. I told her it was fine. Pack up a few clothes. Everything else can stay. You won't get to pick who you get to go live with, so I hope they are nice. By this time, she was old enough to be familiar with a lot of the foster home horror stories you hear about on the news. She decided she wanted to stay with mom and dad.

Originally posted by nenothtu

Originally posted by speculativeoptimist
I too have experienced my share of corporeal punishment that was well deserved, but my father also made me understand the error of my ways not only through punishment and talks,

Another time honored tactic - "the Talk".

I've had my kids say "you're not going to give me a 'talkin'-to' over that, are you?"

My own son once broke down in the middle of a "Talk" and said, exasperated, "can't you just spank me and get this over with?"

I HATED some of those talks. I would have rather been beaten with switches than sit and look at the disappointment in either of my parent's eyes. That was always the worst part. The disappointment. I could live with just about anything over that. That just really always hurt my feelings.

Originally posted by morder1
Haha funny topic...

I remember when i was maybe 10 or so, I called my dad a dildo...

That didnt go over very well... Damn older kids and their words got me in trouble!

I had a brother that was 4 years older than me and he was super eeevil. I can't tell you the amount of times I went and asked mom or dad something he told me to, and it resulted in a sore rear end. I can still remember his face peering around the corner giggling because I had fallen for it yet again!

Sounds like some really bad childhoods.

Originally posted by troyroser
Sounds like some really bad childhoods.

It doesn't seem like that at all to me. It seems to me that a lot of folks are having a pretty good time remembering their childhoods. I could be wrong...it has happened before. But I don't think so.

One of my mother's favorite lines to throw at me was

"Association brings about assimilation"

She was very good at reading people and was adamant about me being highly selective about relationships...be they romantic or friendships. She hated when I hung out with people she saw as dregs and wasted no time in letting us know where we were messing up when I or my brothers brought home a new love that she wasnt keen on.

I cant bring myself to use that line but I still pass on a similar lesson to my own kids. I teach them to be on guard for emotional vampires and time burglars or those with no interest in moving forward and being their most effective selves.

Originally posted by 12m8keall2c
reply to post by Kangaruex4Ewe

 

we always taught the kids that similarization through association is near inevitable, and that despite your best efforts you'll never be able to control the actions of others, yet always be able to control Your participation therein ... or lack thereof.

they turned out pretty damn good, imo

respectful, morally-balanced [if there is such a thing] and keen to helping others if/when in a time of need.

me?
if only we had more of the same anymore these days

Very good lessons to be sure! I wish we had more of the same these days as well. It's a good feeling to look at your kids and feel that heart bursting emotion of pride and love when you see them making choices that will take them far in this world. It helps a parent sleep just a bit easier at night.

And thank you.

Originally posted by irsuccubus
One of my mother's favorite lines to throw at me was

"Association brings about assimilation"

She was very good at reading people and was adamant about me being highly selective about relationships...be they romantic or friendships. She hated when I hung out with people she saw as dregs and wasted no time in letting us know where we were messing up when I or my brothers brought home a new love that she wasnt keen on.

I cant bring myself to use that line but I still pass on a similar lesson to my own kids. I teach them to be on guard for emotional vampires and time burglars or those with no interest in moving forward and being their most effective selves.

A more intelligent spin on :Birds of a feather, flock together"! I like it! She sounds like a smart woman. It's hard to watch your kids make bad choices in friends and partners... but most parents let you learn the hard way. That's what it's all about when it comes to some stuff. We wish we could shield them, but know that they need to learn, and most learn pretty quickly! Friends and peer pressure are some of the biggest challenges I think.

Originally posted by troyroser
Sounds like some really bad childhoods.

How so?