WTF is/was that ?

Originally posted by Djayed
reply to post by randyvs

 

I felt really wierd yesterday mid day and I am on the east coast.

Ps: I see you live in apple valley, I grew up in Hesperia..sorry I mean "Hellsperia" lol.

edit on 7/4/2012 by Djayed because: (no reason given)

When about was this? I too live on the east coast and yesterday sometime between 2 and 3 pm while I was waiting at the DMV I got this sudden surge of energy. It only lasted a minute or so, but it caused me to look away from my tablet and up at all the different people around me with this sense of gratitude at being able to be around them all.

And Randy, I wish I had known what the heck was going on when this happened to me. Maybe it would have saved some heartbreak. I felt like, without my consent, I was saying goodbye to myself. Everything I took as 'ME' completely fell away. I didn't know then that I had just tripped into a deep, deep hole. Fast-forward 6 years and I'm just now recovering. I'm not sure yet if "it worked". Nothing is normalizing yet and it is obvious my journey is far from over...I must say it is getting VERY interesting now.

reply to post by randyvs


It's not an easy way to feel is it? Especially when we have no idea where it comes from or when it might leave.

I've been through this many times. At first it would last for a few hours, which progressively moved on to a few days, and then a few weeks. At the time I didn't realize it but I was in the throes of clinical depression...it really snuck up on me.

I can't say I know this is what is happening to you but, what I can say is, please if you feel this way again or it starts happening more and more, seek help. Never let it get so bad that you lose yourself completely because it's so hard to find a way back from that.

Originally posted by randyvs
reply to post by grubblesnert

 

( and your brave for sharing

I have shared nothing that you haven't. Together we are brave.

I'll share something else I used the wrong "you're" (your)
Now I feel dumb!

All I know about that feeling is that I feel it from time to time and when I do, it usually means for me that someone important or well known will pass away soon.

I hope that's not the case for you.


btw the very second I clicked on this thread, this song started playing on the radio. It probably has nothing to do with anything, but I found it interesting and when certain songs play at certain times, it has deep meaning for me.

reply to post by randyvs


will the real slim randy.... please stand up?

Really this is the type of bull crap that is relevant now? I've been on this site for a few years and honestly I've watched it go to hell. There are things like the NDAA, that get no attention, Obamacare, people losing their liberties and freedoms but no one gives a #. But when "Randy" cant find "himself" its #s to do". What a pathetic dump this has become. Way to go trolls, the war is over. You don't get a flag, I would burn a flag on this #ing post.

Originally posted by randyvs
K,
I never thought for a minute, I would ever write one of those " I have a feeling, " or a " Does anyone else ever feel this way "threads ? But this, Phu feeling...

This feeling I woke up with this morning, being something I haven't ever experienced before. No never. Is so freaking horrible and scary and hard to talk about and at the same time so unlike Randy. That in truth, ATS is about the only place I ever would talk about it. As ATS has some of the most wonderful people I've ever met. Definitely the place to go to broaden, or renew, or embolden your faith in the human kind. Said it before I know, but it's appropriate more even now.

I love this place because of everyone of you.

So anyway, WTF is that ? Or this ? It's as if I woke up this morning and I couldn't find Randy. For those who don't know him to well. He's a guy who entertains the hell out of me all the time. He has done so my whole life, with a most excellent sense of humor and has never let me down with out good reason.

You know, like a death, or a war, or some catastrophic bit of doom being unleashed on humanity. The extremely contagious laughter that is the Randy my wife says," is an absolute blast to be married to ", was no where to be found.. And to tell you the truth as I type this, right here and now, I'm finally starting to pull myself together again. Just now. So glad my wife is still and was at the store when I woke up. I think it might have shook her up to see what the hell I just went thru.

So now WTF was that?
I wake up like I do every morning.
Beautiful day outside, things are looking up in my life. But out of no wheres ville, I have this inexplicable urge to lament for no reason ? In fact the more I'm getting it together here, I'm even wondering if I shouldn't be concerned a little more.

I mean because, I have never been like this before. This feeling of lamentation that forced me to look back across my days on this earth, literally brought me to knees and caused me to sob helplessly, with my face in my hands.
As if this were the saddest day I've ever lived and looking at the smiley face on my Joe boxer shorts was what began to turn things around for me. Isn't that weird ? Or maybe not ?

I don't get it, but the wifey is home and I'm not even ready to let her know yet. Don't worry tho peeps I will talk to her about this later when I'm sure of myself again. So no need to call me on that one. But wow ! You guys, I'm not a wuss, but I want to know what's up with that so how bout it. I hope this is the last time I ever write one of these cause I don't like feeling uneasy about Randy as he has always been ok. But no need to ask if I'm alright cause I am once again physically spiritually mentally sound. But

WTF is/was that ?

And the hardest part of this thread .

Has anyone else gone thru something like this ?

Or am I odd ? IDK and IDC what it is you personally think of this or me ? But write it down here please, I want to read it. I can tell I'm back all good cause I have that peaked curiosity about where this one will go on ATS again.
Yet if it goes right in the toilet ? That'll be ok too !

Hi randy. From the other side:

I live every day of my life like that. In fact, when I am in a good mood and things are going well, I start looking over my shoulder.

I figure I was just born on the wrong side of the bed and you on the right one, and every once and awhile we get to switch places

Ok.... SO....l read the thread/ post/ rambling.... Whatever you wanna call it. Lol

Im like........ TOTALLY LOST.

You are Randy.

But..... Randy lost himself.... ( he is having a melt down) and ..... Uh...... He just wantes ATS to know anout it.

Hey.... Its cool, ive done it before, although I called all the ladies in the room because I just felt so F'ed up in the head, but..... Yeah....

Its all going to be ok. Buckle up..... Go to bed and we will chat in the morning ( its morning here now... Waaaaay passed my bed time). ((((((((((( HUGS ))))))))))))

Originally posted by logicalthinking
Really this is the type of bull crap that is relevant now? I've been on this site for a few years and honestly I've watched it go to hell. There are things like the NDAA, that get no attention, Obamacare, people losing their liberties and freedoms but no one gives a #. But when "Randy" cant find "himself" its #s to do". What a pathetic dump this has become. Way to go trolls, the war is over. You don't get a flag, I would burn a flag on this #ing post.

edit on 5-7-2012 by logicalthinking because: yeah

I applaud your post guy !
But I recommend you do the same thing I just did if you ever need help with something.
This place is here my man and these people are ready to help .
I think it's awesome and I feel pretty damn great right now.

U4

I can't say I know this is what is happening to you but, what I can say is, please if you feel this way again or it starts happening more and more, seek help. Never let it get so bad that you lose yourself completely because it's so hard to find a way back from that.

Even tho I seem to be fine now and believe I was just home sick. I will heed your advice and watch out for myself as you recommend. thank you U4.
....................................................................................................................................
Thank you everyone, I don't care why or what you posted it's a pretty nice feeling having people relate to what you're going thru.

I have no regrets just as I knew I would not.

reply to post by logicalthinking


Wow.

So because someone needed to share and get something off their chest that means the site is going to h*ll? I think you're way off base there. People are concerned and the fact that others found it within themselves to rally around them and try to help shows that people on this site truly care about the well-being of others, and in my opinion that only attests to the fact that this is a GREAT site.

I don't even know you but you've disappointed me....and that's not an easy thing to do.

Originally posted by logicalthinking
Really this is the type of bull crap that is relevant now? I've been on this site for a few years and honestly I've watched it go to hell. There are things like the NDAA, that get no attention, Obamacare, people losing their liberties and freedoms but no one gives a #. But when "Randy" cant find "himself" its #s to do". What a pathetic dump this has become. Way to go trolls, the war is over. You don't get a flag, I would burn a flag on this #ing post.

edit on 5-7-2012 by logicalthinking because: yeah

If you don't want to read it you do not have to. That is the great thing about the internet. And to be honest this is exactly what deny ignorance is about. Stop walking around in our own little cocoon worlds where everything is great or doom depending on how we personally feel about the day.

This thread is all about what the community is lacking and what it needs more of in order to promote positive change. Had we had community feel like this (in our day to day living), where total strangers care about the everyday of another total stranger and go out of their way to be concerned and lend a hand where possible, I think you will find that most of the shootings, drug abuse, senseless stabbings, domestic abuse, killings over over mobile devices and what not would diminish. You wouldn't have so many lost and lonely people who are too afraid to reach out about (what they feel are the little things) building up until they one day explode in some innocent by passers face or implode on them selves.

I applaud this post and the people who came out to offer their thoughts. Together we are stronger, smarter and more content - together we can find solutions to any problem.Eliminating the small ones that clog our brains might lend way to some big solution future wise. Because frankly life is all about every day.

Since I am not an angry or vengeful person all I can say is love to you and I hope one day you will find yourself with yummy tasty pie in your face when Randy here hopefully soon free of the little irks raises a child that changes the world for the better or something to that effect. Or when you yourself find yourself lost and bewildered one day and some stranger comes to shine a little light on your existence.

much love and inspiration

I remember once last year, I was in the kitchen with my girlfriend making Hamburger Helper.
I was just standing around and to pass a minute of time or so, I picked up the box and started to examine it.
You mentioned the smiley face, it reminded me of when I saw the Hamburger Helper glove guy.
An overwhelming dread and sadness rushed over me. I had an anxiety attack or something and started crying.
I acted a bit strangely for the next couple of days, I guess.
But I just don't understand why I got that feeling because of a GLOVE WITH A FACE.

reply to post by randyvs


Let me get this straight. I think. - You've had an invisible pal called Randy for your whole life and he's suddenly vanished?

I think I'd be like WTF too.

I've felt this way since about my mid twenties. It started with my mind wandering on my 70 mile drive to work every day at 3:30 AM in the darkness. Highway Hypnosis I guess.

It started with my mind having thoughts about what is the purpose of going to work every day. Not just for me, the whole concept of our lives. Everyone, back and forth to work everyday, etc. Why? I thought about looking up at the stars at night and feeling so insignificant, like the stuff that goes on here on earth: wars, people killing each other, the stupidity of celebrity worshiping, etc. I felt like ... just "WHY" about everything.

That is when I began to notice my mood swings. Today I am 42 and since my mid twenties I have struggled with things. Somehow I managed to get a great job but I still have feelings of WHY. I try to put a happy face on and sometimes I do have genuine happiness, but inside still lurks the turmoil. I feel like I don't belong or something. I don't know.

I have suffered from depression since about my mid twenties. Or, rather that is when I began to notice it.
I question what "depression" really is. Is it really a brain chemistry issue or is it something else?

It's hard to explain to someone who doesn't have these feelings. I tried to explain to my closest friend and he just could not understand what I meant.

I can tell you what it feels like. It feels like I'm "nothing," There is no motivation, excitement, interest in anything. It feels I am just "here." It's not a sadness. There IS sadness, but it's different than just feeling blue about something. It's a dark, awful place to be. All I want to do is either stay in bed or sit on the couch all day. Don't want to see or talk to anyone. It's a feeling of emptiness, loneliness, worthlessness, futility, what's the point of anything, not caring about anything or anyone (including me), complete apathy to everything. I have to struggle to make it through the day. To do the things that need to be done.

Anyway, that is what I felt when I read your post Randy. That feeling you had sounds like just what I described above. I have suffered with this for years. And it's not everyday. It comes around randomly. I am doing much better now recently. But I still struggle with things.

I didn't mean to make this post about myself but I was trying to explain how I came to have similar feelings as to what you described. Maybe it will resonate with you.

Much peace to you.

Originally posted by wigit
reply to post by randyvs

 

Let me get this straight. I think. - You've had an invisible pal called Randy for your whole life and he's suddenly vanished?

I think I'd be like WTF too.

Wigit
That's a pretty humorous way to look at it. Thanks for the good cheer.

reply to post by randyvs


Thanks for taking it that way. It was in jest. Seriously though, have you considered you might have had a horrendously sad dream, full of grief, that you just can't remember?

I woke up sobbing once, from a dream. I was heart-broken for days because it was so real.

Originally posted by wigit
reply to post by randyvs

 

Thanks for taking it that way. It was in jest. Seriously though, have you considered you might have had a horrendously sad dream, full of grief, that you just can't remember?

I woke up sobbing once, from a dream. I was heart-broken for days because it was so real.

That's pretty good thinking. I do dream of my child hood quite often. So I may have woke up with that sense of longing. Having it overwhelm me, I might have completely forgotten the dream.

Excellent ! I be damned if that doesn't feel perfect.

I have a compliment for you. If that's your pic in your avatar ? You look incredibly like Bruce. My second favorite hero of all time.

Originally posted by randyvs
I have a compliment for you. If that's your pic in your avatar ? You look incredibly like Bruce. My second favorite hero of all time.

Haha, no. I'm a girl. I just like hot avatars to look at. I have loads and swop them a lot for variety's sake. Though I would gladly change gender if I could have a face as pretty at that. Then I'd be very gay.

Were you thinking Bruce Dickinson? I had a crush on him one time. My avatar (this week) is Tomoya Nagase, Japanese actor/model/rock star. You are not the first guy on ATS to compliment him on his looks, lol.

Glad the dream theory fits with your experience. What happened with me was I was in this place with hundreds of people and a very tall handsome guy with long hair appeared, wearing a blue shiny all in one/spacesuit. He took my hands and smiled at me and I felt this awesome love. Then he led me into a curtain of light particles towards a flying saucer. (Ye, it was one of THEM strange dreams). Then I woke up. And I was crying and sad for days.

reply to post by wigit


Man ATS needs gender indication.

I meant Bruce lee.

How funny and embarrassing at the same time ?