WTF is/was that ?

K,
I never thought for a minute, I would ever write one of those " I have a feeling, " or a " Does anyone else ever feel this way "threads ? But this, Phu feeling...

This feeling I woke up with this morning, being something I haven't ever experienced before. No never. Is so freaking horrible and scary and hard to talk about and at the same time so unlike Randy. That in truth, ATS is about the only place I ever would talk about it. As ATS has some of the most wonderful people I've ever met. Definitely the place to go to broaden, or renew, or embolden your faith in the human kind. Said it before I know, but it's appropriate more even now.

I love this place because of everyone of you.

So anyway, WTF is that ? Or this ? It's as if I woke up this morning and I couldn't find Randy. For those who don't know him to well. He's a guy who entertains the hell out of me all the time. He has done so my whole life, with a most excellent sense of humor and has never let me down with out good reason.

You know, like a death, or a war, or some catastrophic bit of doom being unleashed on humanity. The extremely contagious laughter that is the Randy my wife says," is an absolute blast to be married to ", was no where to be found.. And to tell you the truth as I type this, right here and now, I'm finally starting to pull myself together again. Just now. So glad my wife is still and was at the store when I woke up. I think it might have shook her up to see what the hell I just went thru.

So now WTF was that?
I wake up like I do every morning.
Beautiful day outside, things are looking up in my life. But out of no wheres ville, I have this inexplicable urge to lament for no reason ? In fact the more I'm getting it together here, I'm even wondering if I shouldn't be concerned a little more.

I mean because, I have never been like this before. This feeling of lamentation that forced me to look back across my days on this earth, literally brought me to knees and caused me to sob helplessly, with my face in my hands.
As if this were the saddest day I've ever lived and looking at the smiley face on my Joe boxer shorts was what began to turn things around for me. Isn't that weird ? Or maybe not ?

I don't get it, but the wifey is home and I'm not even ready to let her know yet. Don't worry tho peeps I will talk to her about this later when I'm sure of myself again. So no need to call me on that one. But wow ! You guys, I'm not a wuss, but I want to know what's up with that so how bout it. I hope this is the last time I ever write one of these cause I don't like feeling uneasy about Randy as he has always been ok. But no need to ask if I'm alright cause I am once again physically spiritually mentally sound. But

WTF is/was that ?

And the hardest part of this thread .

Has anyone else gone thru something like this ?

Or am I odd ? IDK and IDC what it is you personally think of this or me ? But write it down here please, I want to read it. I can tell I'm back all good cause I have that peaked curiosity about where this one will go on ATS again.
Yet if it goes right in the toilet ? That'll be ok too !

I would imagine that's how Peter Pan would feel after growing up....but, overnight not a few years.

Did you grow up overnight Randy?

Des

Hi. . . Randy?

It is as if you had the feeling you lost the control of your life and/or emotions. . .

Check the first line of my signature. . .
It is a major "pep talk", if needed !! B-)
You will see that YOU control MUCH more than you think !!

Blue skies.

Originally posted by Destinyone
I would imagine that's how Peter Pan would feel after growing up....but, overnight not a few years.

Did you grow up overnight Randy?

Des

Maybe that's what happens when Randy goes away huh sweet heart ?

Originally posted by randyvs

Originally posted by Destinyone
I would imagine that's how Peter Pan would feel after growing up....but, overnight not a few years.

Did you grow up overnight Randy?

Des

Maybe that's what happens when Randy goes away huh sweet heart ?

edit on 3-7-2012 by randyvs because: (no reason given)

Fight it Randy Boy...I grew up once...it sucks. You can go back, they lied when they said you can't go back.

Des

reply to post by randyvs


I can sort of relate to this, if I'm reading your post right, and it is quite a strange and unpleasant feeling (ominous, even) I still get on the rare occasion. It's not about growing up or depression, but something very different.
Are you having any psychological problems at the moment, may I ask?

reply to post by C-JEAN


Book marked !
And hell ya thanks.

reply to post by randyvs


I have a "Randy" inside myself too. Funny, Confident and Secure.
Yesterday I literally broke down weeping and sobbing for at least an hour.
It really freaked my room mate out.
Granted I have been going through some life changing events
the past two and a half years now,but I have always dealt well with stressful change.

IDK do they have that HARRP thingie running?
Or is it the moon phase?

I actually had a thought of putting a bullet in my head to just end it.
That scares me cause my "Randy" does not think that way...

Take Care and know that if you have a partner that will stick with you through this, you have something all the money in the world can't buy.

reply to post by Destinyone

Fight it Randy Boy...I grew up once...it sucks. You can go back, they lied when they said you can't go back.

Ha ha ! You're amazing. That's like asking Mohammed Ali to box. Or Richard Petty to run moonshine.

reply to post by randyvs


Hiya love,

Everythings gonna be alright (big hug)

I have those days, they pass. Talking to wifey is a good idea, she can give proper hugs.

We all must have those feeling otherwise there would be no empathy.

You are well loved.

Well, it's interesting to see that another person has been through this now. Mine was a little different in that my family were concerned because I seemed really sad, but I wasn't aware that I was feeling any sadness at all. They kept asking and asking though.

I mean, like you I felt some sadness, a lamentation of sorts, but I had had warning of that in meditation anyway so I knew it was coming. I read my tarot cards and they confirmed it. But it was as though it were happening to another me somewhere else. I couldn't really feel it but it was definitely happening. I must admit it was one of the strangest things I've experienced to date.

There will be more out there experiencing it. It's marvelous that you've brought it to the table for them. It will bring much comfort to them when their time comes.

reply to post by XeroOne

Are you having any psychological problems at the moment, may I ask?

No way and I don't know of anyone who would even say anything like that. If there were anything ( meds ) I would have written this a lot differently. Or maybe not at all ? That's what I don't get, it's just out of nowhere.

reply to post by randyvs


Really we are completely controlled by our chemistry. I am depressed, and that is what you are describing about 70 percent of the time. I have to live like your day. When I wake up feeling cheerful and happy it is a wonderful experience!

The people who are mostly UP are so lucky! I will not take drugs for a false sense of HAPPY, as there are always negitive side effects. I come from a whole family of downers :-(

I married someone like you..poor guy, he is now pretty negative also since it does rub off more then the happy happy rubs off on the downers like me!

I hope you are not going through a chemistry change that will lead you down my dark path but it can happen, we can change chemistry at any time in life, I have seen it.

The only time I've heard this happen, is with a lad I know who did a whole lot of bad stuff during his life, then one day he found God!

(also happens to lads who view themselves in the 3rd person........you lost yourself, then found.......you again! )

Originally posted by randyvs
reply to post by XeroOne

 

Are you having any psychological problems at the moment, may I ask?

No way and I don't know of anyone who would even say anything like that. If there were anything ( meds ) I would have written this a lot differently. Or maybe not at all ? That's what I don't get, it's just out of nowhere.

edit on 3-7-2012 by randyvs because: (no reason given)

I really don't mean that as an insult, but a genuine question. It's just that some disorders cause that kind of horrible sensation. And no, it's usually impossible to judge whether someone has psychological problems unless they express it. Many don't.

reply to post by randyvs





Come on dude...if you let me down, I'm gonna leave this place - which means you will have to take on all the trolls yourself.


Hang in there...if not for me, do it for your part-time fans Randy.


Buck up, drink up, and stop looking up...

Originally posted by LeRoy1968
reply to post by randyvs

 

I have a "Randy" inside myself too. Funny, Confident and Secure.
Yesterday I literally broke down weeping and sobbing for at least an hour.
It really freaked my room mate out.
Granted I have been going through some life changing events
the past two and a half years now,but I have always dealt well with stressful change.

IDK do they have that HARRP thingie running?
Or is it the moon phase?

I actually had a thought of putting a bullet in my head to just end it.
That scares me cause my "Randy" does not think that way...

Take Care and know that if you have a partner that will stick with you through this, you have something all the money in the world can't buy.

edit on 3-7-2012 by LeRoy1968 because: spelling error

Can you invite me for dinner ? Not that I'm hungry but I need an excuse of some kind to steal all your bullets.
I know a little bit about the crap you've endured lately. So it's the fourth and I need all the powder in your house.
I want to write Happy birthday in gun powder on the drive way and light it up. I need all your bullets. Or just send them to an octopus' garden under the sea.

OMG people, he's just fine. This is just one of those spooky things that spooky people who speak in hushed tones in spooky corners get on about. It took days for my weird thing to pass. It may take him a few days too, or it could be over before I get to post this. But he's just moved to a little different place than he occupied before. Don't worry - it's a better place, one more in keeping with his true self.

Let him get used to his new suit.

reply to post by facelift


Now I know ! Holy crap it just hit me.

I miss my pony !

reply to post by randyvs

I don't know Randy. I have some thoughts about it, but it would only entail an explanation if everyone experienced it.
I, like many members here, am glad your back.
I do have a few questions though.
Do you use a blue-tooth?
Was you cell phone near by?
Are you living very near a cell phone tower?