Head Over Heels - Help!

This has been greatly redacted.

Short story version;

I'm in Nursing school, (ADN to BSN), there is a girl there, I have a huge crush on her.

Looking for advice on "How would you ask her out if you were in my shoes".

I'm not in love with her, I'm not weak, I have a few self-esteem issues, I'm highly confident in myself as a person.

"She reminds you of your mother in some distinct way"

IF your aware enough to see that you are looking for your mother in a mate, than my advice is to look the other way.

Its one of those things people do that they should learn to avoid, modeling their parents relationships.

Originally posted by benrl

"She reminds you of your mother in some distinct way"

IF your aware enough to see that you are looking for your mother in a mate, than my advice is to look the other way.

Its one of those things people do that they should learn to avoid, modeling their parents relationships.

I see what you are saying, but no, I'm not intentionally looking for these qualities, more of something I realized after she had caught my attention

reply to post by abaraikenshi


I under stand that, and on a subconscious level you are being drawn to it.

Just advice from an older guy to a younger one.

reply to post by abaraikenshi

First off, just ask her out. Worst thing she can do is say "No".

Now, how the heck did you end up at the same college? Let me guess, it's a community college right? If not, you're probably a stalker.

Meek? If she's outgoing and hung out with all the popular kids in school I assure, she's not meek.

Anyway's, my advice to you.......grab your balls and ask her out. Life's too short to have regrets.

Originally posted by freedom12
reply to post by abaraikenshi

 

First off, just ask her out. Worst thing she can do is say "No".

Now, how the heck did you end up at the same college? Let me guess, it's a community college right? If not, you're probably a stalker.

Meek? If she's outgoing and hung out with all the popular kids in school I assure, she's not meek.

Anyway's, my advice to you.......grab your balls and ask her out. Life's too short to have regrets.

She's totally meek; hell, all of her siblings/cousins were popular in high school, and she was in by default. We're in the same college because we're RN, ADNs who are about to finish up with our BSNs and this program was local. Which in hindsight, isn't detail that is needed, but okay.

As for the help, I appreciate it, but it's not what I'm looking for. Any fool can walk up to someone and ask them out, but there is tact behind it, and that tact is what I'm looking for.

Also, to the Older guy giving advice on not seeking out qualities of our parents, I do appreciate it, it's actually pretty sound advice and I'll keep it in mind!

ETA: Sorry if I sound like a prick; I've been working on homework most of the night.

Be yourself!
I have had the best luck and longest relationship by being myself. I promise if you try to be something your not she will see right through it.... eventually. If she is "the one" as you say, you dont want to fu#k that up by acting like someone your not. Besides, even if you did act all nick cage, or travolta and she swoons to you, its not YOU!!!! Dude, trust me. If she doesnt like you for you, you wont be happy. This is coming from a guy that went to literally 17 different schools. grade 1-5 same school. grade 6-10, 16 different schools. I had to learn the hard way. The worst that can happen is she says "no" to A cup of coffee or a burger or whatever you or she is into. All im sayin is you just never know if you dont try. If it doesnt work out, I promise life goes on. This is coming from a guy that had the barrel of A gun in his mouth cause of a girl.

I had an awakening, if you will. I realized that if she doesnt like who I really am, then why lie to myself. Point being, we are nat all the same. This very fact alone is what makes us individual. This makes chemistry. All I know is that you will never know unless you try. Life is What we make it. Choose you, make life what you want.

Definetly ask her out because if she says no the sooner you can get on with the rest of your life............

reply to post by abaraikenshi

Any fool can walk up to someone and ask them out, but there is tact behind it, and that tact is what I'm looking for.

I think you missed the point.

I'm not saying you go up to her and say, "hey baby, you wanna go out?".

Of course you do it in your own way, but asking some random strangers on the internet, what you should say, is just weak, IMHO.

Let's say you have a ATSer give you exactly what to say, you to go out, and then start dating. A couple months down the line, she asks you about the time you asked her out. You either tell her someone else told you what to say, or lie about it. Either scenario, can cause problems.

Since you already have known her, you're not some random Joe just asking her out. Since you say you have self-esteem/confidence issues, maybe you being bold and asking her out , is just the kind of thing that appeals to her.Women do love a confident man, but don't confuse confidence with cockiness.

Good luck sir and good nite!

reply to post by bigironfun


Thank you, Bigiron fun! I understand life goes on, and I'm not going to pretend like she is the one, but from my experience in Geriatrics, from all the stories I've heard, I've always been told that when you meet the "right one" you'll just know, and to be honest, I have no idea what that means, but I based that statement on the inclination of the feelings I've never felt before.

You are right though, I do sometimes find myself trying to be something I'm not, but I feel I'm greatly improving upon that aspect of my life! I realize, if someone loves me for something I'm not, then it's just wasting both of our times.

The biggest thing I'm stuck on, is how do I even approach it? Do I just bluntly say, "Hey, would you want to go get coffee?" Or something of that affect, or is it something you segway into?

reply to post by abaraikenshi


Chill out, man, and ask her to go out for coffee or something and be cool about it. FFS, you can't be in love with someone you don't know.

Originally posted by PhantomLimb
reply to post by abaraikenshi

 

Chill out, man, and ask her to go out for coffee or something and be cool about it. FFS, you can't be in love with someone you don't know.

Have no clue where the basis of this conclusion has came from. But thanks for trying

@freedom12

I think we're on 2 separate pages. I'm not looking for someone to draw out a picture, I merely want advice on how to approach this, how would you do it if the roles were reversed. I mean, there isn't a magic statement that makes any woman weak in the knees, and I'm not wanting to model myself after something I am not, but I haven't asked a girl out in a couple of years now, it's nice to have an idea on how people would approach it

I cannot help you with that. That is something you have to figure yourself. I can tell you that people in general like and respect an up front and generally honest person. Im not saying to rush up to said individual and scream "YOU WANT COFFEE??" Yes, conversation helps before the heart racing question. Who knows, you may find out in the previous convo that this person has A major distaste for coffee. Or vise versa. Just relax and be youself. I promise you are making this all out to be way more than you think. Show confidence and respect. Do not think she is meek or weak. She is equal and just as intelligent as you, if not more. I am A 34 year old male that has been through some of the worst s#!t any one person can. Im sure some have seen and been through worse, as sure as most I know cant even fathom. Bottom line is ,Life is short, take chances, drive fast and experience all you can.

Originally posted by bigironfun
I cannot help you with that. That is something you have to figure yourself. I can tell you that people in general like and respect an up front and generally honest person. Im not saying to rush up to said individual and scream "YOU WANT COFFEE??" Yes, conversation helps before the heart racing question. Who knows, you may find out in the previous convo that this person has A major distaste for coffee. Or vise versa. Just relax and be youself. I promise you are making this all out to be way more than you think. Show confidence and respect. Do not think she is meek or weak. She is equal and just as intelligent as you, if not more. I am A 34 year old male that has been through some of the worst s#!t any one person can. Im sure some have seen and been through worse, as sure as most I know cant even fathom. Bottom line is ,Life is short, take chances, drive fast and experience all you can.

Thank you! Thank you so much! This is the type of advice I'm looking for. I know that I'll have to figure out what to say and stuff, but this actually helped a lot. It gives me a general idea and helps me think about it. Almost the past 4 years, I've either been interacting with a Teacher, patient, doctor, student or a text book.

I think I do hold her in regard as to someone whose "way above me" when she's nothing more or less than my equal. Again, thank you.

I won't see her again until the 9th, but I'll ask her then!

Glad to help. I hope all works out for the good for you both. We all need A shoulder to lean on and an ear to talk in. I truly hope things work out the best for you, well,..... both. We are all in this race to live, together. The sooner humanity realizes this as A whole, the better we all live. Let me know how things go if you dont mind. (Not trying to pry) just want to see or hear of some good for once in these times of what seems like all doom and gloom. Good luck to you and yours. Rob.