The land of delusion indeed.
Over the last few months here's a few things I've had to put up with :
Being out of it and thinking I was arriving in the singularity early, with a group of Aliens.
Thinking I was channeling Aliens and I wrote it in a thread here.
Thinking I was from Aldebaran because a being was with me and said that through me.
Raving at secret societies and intelligence agencies.
You know what I think it all was? A load of crap. A load of delusion, stupid programming sessions designed to unsettle me, fill me with fear,
delusion, anger, regret, confusion, and so on.
It's all just a sham the way I see it, to stop me from getting on with my life.
So one thing that's been there through a lot of it is different drugs, etc. Well hopefully that's all over now.
I'm off depression meds, they were all temporary anyway and didn't really do a thing long term I don't think. But the one running thread has been
alcohol. Now I've decided : no red bull with alcohol, it sends me over the edge, 1 vodka and orange maximum, not two, not three, one. 4 cans of lager
maximum if I drink, or if I'm out for the night 4 pints. Almost every time I lose it there's been way too much drink, and you know what? I think
there's a lot of shady stuff involved there. repressed and fractured personality parts that can be manipulated in drunken states, open to possession,
even that might be made worse by types of programming I'm still not aware of. But yeah I honestly think now that there's a real chance I'll never be
drunk again in my lifetime. I'm just sick of it. Being "tipsy" is fine! No problem compared to what I've been through, and I often have a good time
like that, in fact I almost always do. Do things in moderation, etc. Drunk though? No.
My main focus now is staying away from as much meat as possible, staying away from as much refined sugar as possible, getting the right vitamins and
minerals in me, learning more about other aspects of nutrition, meditating regularly, and just letting all of my past go.
All of it. No attaching to any of it, because you know what? Amost everything that's happened to me has been a lie. I don't need any of it.
Maybe it's finally time to start truly
waking up. And if I do, I don't need to channel, I don't need to ask about Aliens from Aldebaran, I
don't need to rant at secret societies and intelligence agencies, because I'm not even bothered about any of it. None of it works for me. Every time
I've brought up any of those subjects I've not felt right, and I'm now sure that it's because it's all been a load of manipulation to stop me from
living my life.
Well I'm no longer interested in any of it.
edit on 2-7-2012 by robhines because: typo