It's just a load of lies

The land of delusion indeed.

Over the last few months here's a few things I've had to put up with :

Being out of it and thinking I was arriving in the singularity early, with a group of Aliens.
Thinking I was channeling Aliens and I wrote it in a thread here.
Thinking I was from Aldebaran because a being was with me and said that through me.
Raving at secret societies and intelligence agencies.

You know what I think it all was? A load of crap. A load of delusion, stupid programming sessions designed to unsettle me, fill me with fear, delusion, anger, regret, confusion, and so on.

It's all just a sham the way I see it, to stop me from getting on with my life.

So one thing that's been there through a lot of it is different drugs, etc. Well hopefully that's all over now.

I'm off depression meds, they were all temporary anyway and didn't really do a thing long term I don't think. But the one running thread has been alcohol. Now I've decided : no red bull with alcohol, it sends me over the edge, 1 vodka and orange maximum, not two, not three, one. 4 cans of lager maximum if I drink, or if I'm out for the night 4 pints. Almost every time I lose it there's been way too much drink, and you know what? I think there's a lot of shady stuff involved there. repressed and fractured personality parts that can be manipulated in drunken states, open to possession, even that might be made worse by types of programming I'm still not aware of. But yeah I honestly think now that there's a real chance I'll never be drunk again in my lifetime. I'm just sick of it. Being "tipsy" is fine! No problem compared to what I've been through, and I often have a good time like that, in fact I almost always do. Do things in moderation, etc. Drunk though? No.

My main focus now is staying away from as much meat as possible, staying away from as much refined sugar as possible, getting the right vitamins and minerals in me, learning more about other aspects of nutrition, meditating regularly, and just letting all of my past go.

All of it. No attaching to any of it, because you know what? Amost everything that's happened to me has been a lie. I don't need any of it.

Maybe it's finally time to start truly waking up. And if I do, I don't need to channel, I don't need to ask about Aliens from Aldebaran, I don't need to rant at secret societies and intelligence agencies, because I'm not even bothered about any of it. None of it works for me. Every time I've brought up any of those subjects I've not felt right, and I'm now sure that it's because it's all been a load of manipulation to stop me from living my life.

Well I'm no longer interested in any of it.

You seem to be doing okay, or at least heading in the right direction.

Sounds like you are moving in a positive direction. Dwelling on what happened will only lead to confusion. Somethings are best left alone and dropped. If thoughts of it come back, don't stress on it. Let it go and live in the present.

Yeah, a load of lies is was. Good for you to be aware of that. Your mind is your property and no one else's.

I can relate.

reply to post by robhines



amen


do it for yourself,,, all youve ever had is you,,,,, you gotta be your best friend,,,, take care of yourself,,,,, make it a challange to yourself to see if you can cut back on the drinking,,, and start taking vitamins and eating healthier,,, ignore or smirk at anything beyond yourself that distracts you from that task,,,, of simply day to day living your life,,, by you,,, for you,,,,

cheers mate,,,, hope you come out victorious,,,,,,, sometimes you need those bad experiences to put you over the edge,,, to give you the strength needed to contrast your past and reposes complete control....

reply to post by robhines


*starts a slows clap that creciendos into loud continuous claps* good for you, show them aliens who's boss!

Definitely moving in a positive direction, I have also noticed that the majority of discussions and arguments on ATS are pointless, the Philosophy & Psychology sub--forum really is the only one worth looking at.

Meditation is one of the greatest secrets that has been kept from the western world and one of the big secrets that has been kept from us as a species, is the richness and wealth that accompanies emotion. We have been steered away from exploring emotion, because through emotion you can figure things out. Our emotions connect us with the spiritual body, the spiritual body of course is non-physical, existing on the multi-dimensional sphere.

As you awaken to your history you will begin to open your ancient eyes, they see the connectedness and the purpose of all things, for the ancient eyes are able to see into many realities and to connect the whole picture the whole history. All of this is to be felt, allow your brain cells to click into being without your rational conscious mind wanting to define things down to the most minute detail.

We are in a constant duality with ourselves and how others see us. This can result in confusion in terms of identity and self-esteem. And brain scans show that we experience these negative emotions even before we are aware of them.

But when we are self aware, we can alter misplaced emotions because we control the thoughts that cause them. This is a neurochemical consequence of how memories become labile when retrieved and how they are restored through protein synthesis.

Self-observing profoundly changes the way our brain works.

May I wish you the best of luck on your path to true happiness, love and compassion.

Peace

K

Congratulations bro, I sincerely hope you find your peace. Please believe I say these words with the warmest intent, and let them flow through you knowing there is light at the end of this.

Ditching the Red Bull was an excellent idea, little known the excessive use of caffeine in our western society is the leading cause of psychosis related mental disorders and it's as easy to fix as stop ingesting caffeine.

With out driving you mad the Red bull should have been warning enough. It's weird but society can have a funny way of warning you about every day products. You can drive yourself mad looking too deep, but everything saturated with preservatives and chemicals is bad for you. The more media hype and fancy packaging the worse off it tends to be.

I hope you continue with your meditation, and learn to listen to your inner self. Drugs and alcohol can sometimes give the illusion of higher consciousness but they are just that, an illusion.

Best of luck, hope to see you feeling and doing better soon!!!

Ilyich!

reply to post by robhines

Im not against drinking & drugs neither am I for it, read on habits & addictions, if you can place yourself on neither or your one step ahead & beyond. I know what I say I know what I do my friend. If you seek the truth look into the mind. Once you know the real truth of things. You can practically do anything you want. Before anybody asks me a question on what I just typed. You have to discover the answers yourself.

Thanks for the replies all, it's really appreciated.

And Kluute, will definitely check those bottom two links out in your signature, they seem related to stuff I've been researching lately quite a lot, so thanks!

Still feel weird about the whole stuff that's been going on lately and not sure where I'm going next, but I'm meditating a lot more so that's at least something. I usually get back to myself after creating daft threads, but I still think that went way too far and haven't felt the same since really. The good thing is something inside has changed quite a bit, I kind of feel a lot more awake actually. I'm just still not sure if it was all my doing or if something else nudged me into doing it to try and bring chaos into my life, but there's nothing I can do about that now and have to try to let it go. Will just see how things go, and thanks again for the help.

Phew. Just had a breakthrough, finally.

I'm still not sure of the exact circumstances of how and why I lost the plot for a bit back there, but I'm now going to start researching Psy Ops and Psychology, and am just going to carry on with my site. And if anyone links back to that crazy thread in the future in an attempt to discredit me, I'll just post up all my research into Psy Ops, link them to it, and suggest they learn a bit. I might post it up anyway though, will just see how that goes.

It's been a crazy few days though. I sank back into depression and spent about 72 hours or so honestly thinking that I'd been totally screwed. So if there was any other force at work there with what happened : well done! You really did hit me hard there, I now have a lot more respect for you. I don't think you'll ever really turn me against the Masons or the Illuminati though, because I realise that they're just part of my family.

And finally, a huge thanks to Vajrayogini, who I've asked for help from several times over the last few days. Thankyou, big red sweetie.



Back to work.