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Please Help...My Son Wants To Be A Girl

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posted on Jul, 2 2012 @ 03:24 PM
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Thank you to everyone who has replied. You've helped me calm down tremendously. That's why I love ATS!

Anyway, I've been thinking about his statement that he wanted to be a mommy. Both my husband and I are teachers, so we've got the summers off. So far its been mainly me and my son doing things together while dad works around the house and helps his parents. Perhaps he's simply idolizing our time together and that's part of it. My husband plans on taking him to do "boy stuff" soon, like camping....though come to think of it, I'm the one who takes him fishing. There's a thought...

Thank you to those who've shared your personal experiences. They really helped me put things in perspective.

Hugs to you all,

smylee




posted on Jul, 2 2012 @ 03:25 PM
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reply to post by smyleegrl
 


Since this has only been for a couple of days so far, I wouldn't let it stress you out.

Personally, I think the only part that you should be worried about is the fact that he put superglue on his lips. Doesn't matter why he did it, but make sure he doesn't do it again.



posted on Jul, 2 2012 @ 03:25 PM
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Are you a single parent mom? Just wondering if he has a masculine role models.

I have seen one 3 year old boy in daycare that worried his parents because he wanted to wear eye shadow. blush and lipstick and a few other feminine type interests like putting on dresses. He was not the rough and tumble kind of kid.

Where did he get the idea about liking bras? Could it be that he is just repeating some of the things he has heard from girl playmates? Perhaps someone is saying why being a girl is better. Saying girls grow up faster sounds like something a bragging little girl would say.

You know at his age he might me confused about the birds and bees. I was clueless at that age.

I wouldn't worry or draw any conclusions unless he starts obsessing about this.






edit on 7/2/2012 by sad_eyed_lady because: (no reason given)



posted on Jul, 2 2012 @ 03:27 PM
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No worries. Just be normal and stop thinking too much although they're all valid thoughts and concerns. I have a 5 year old daughter who is a tom boy and a 3 year old son who is very gentle. Its just the age as I have discovered a lot from conversing with elders. Generally its the society and the surroundings that might affect the deviation (if any) to adopt the opposite gender specific hobbies and/or sexual preference. Just be aware of his surroundings (friends, neighbors, tv entertainment, school and classroom environment etc etc). Most of the things that I notice in my 5 year old is a direct reflection or mimicking of things she observed/learned from the outside elements.



posted on Jul, 2 2012 @ 03:28 PM
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Two things you can watch for are

--his favourite toys
and
--ask who his "first crush" is.

These might be only myths, but my daughter always played with boy things. (while doll presents and stuffed animals piled up unused in a laundry basket).....but never came out until in her 40s. I never suspected, except for one moment, in passing, when she was about 14, as both boys and girls hung around.

A therapist told me about the first crush, when we were talking about my daughter. I said mine was "Gordon H." when I was 5... I was about 69 then, and she mentioned a boy's name too, quite readily, who she remembers as her first crush

If he were to mention a boy, well---think about it.............

--and hug him and love him every day of his life......




edit on 2-7-2012 by canadiansenior70 because: spelling



posted on Jul, 2 2012 @ 03:29 PM
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Originally posted by BrokenCircles
reply to post by smyleegrl
 


Since this has only been for a couple of days so far, I wouldn't let it stress you out.

Personally, I think the only part that you should be worried about is the fact that he put superglue on his lips. Doesn't matter why he did it, but make sure he doesn't do it again.





Superglue is now removed from the house. We gave him a big song and dance about how the doctors would have to help unstick his lips.

So today he got a tube of aspercreme and was using that as lipstick.

This afternoon has been a search throughout the entire house to put all possible "lipsticks" out of reach in the attic.



posted on Jul, 2 2012 @ 03:30 PM
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reply to post by sad_eyed_lady
 


No, I'm not a single mother. I am the predominant parent he plays with though, usually my husband is to busy. I think this has freaked him out too, he has made plans for more interaction with our son.



posted on Jul, 2 2012 @ 03:31 PM
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I've seen little boys that like girly things, and they seem pretty normal.
I think he could even be confusing what he wants and what he wants to be. He could turn into a mans man. He might be too young to really fully understand what kind of attraction it is. It could really go either way, and that's not really a bad thing. He will always be that baby you fell absolutely in love with. If he were to come out and tell you he wanted to be a woman later on in life, it wouldn't change his personality. I just suggest waiting to find out for sure. Just don't freak out to bad if he tells you the same thing when he is older...It would already be confusing enough to himself if that is the case.



posted on Jul, 2 2012 @ 03:32 PM
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Originally posted by smyleegrl
So today he got a tube of aspercreme and was using that as lipstick.



I'm not sure that's a great idea. Chapstick, maybe.



posted on Jul, 2 2012 @ 03:33 PM
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Originally posted by MrDesolate

Originally posted by smyleegrl
So today he got a tube of aspercreme and was using that as lipstick.



I'm not sure that's a great idea. Chapstick, maybe.


Agreed. It earned him another hospital talk. We do have chapstick, and I offered it to him, but he said no that wasn't REAL lipstick.

Then he said real lipstick was green. So who knows.



posted on Jul, 2 2012 @ 03:34 PM
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I noticed you did not mention a Man in his life. I bring this up because of the situation I am currently having with my Boy. Although we have a traditional heterosexual 2 Parent household, we also have 2 Girls his elder. He is trying to be like his older Sisters and therefore is constantly putting on their dresses and other cloths. He is only 2 so we know it is all about trying to be like His older Sisters and the emotional positivity around looking "Pretty" like they do as He sees Mommy and Daddy saying how pretty they look. Living in a Family of 3 girls and only one Daddy as a reference to what Boys are, is difficult for him to understand the difference.

Is it possible your Son is simply trying to be more like Mommy because this is where all or most of the positive emotional reinforcement is coming from? When I was growing up Mommy was support and Daddy was education and punishment so the ties to Mommy were stronger.

I don't think this is a case of gender discovery so much as maybe a case in emotional acceptance. Just my 2 cents.



posted on Jul, 2 2012 @ 03:35 PM
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reply to post by smyleegrl
 

Tonight, my 9 year old son made a "Spartan" shield.

Then he drew bunnies on it.
(go figure)


Just relax and be proud that your child wants to emulate you.

It'll be okay.

ETA, the Green Goblin had green lips. So did the Hulk. Food for thought.


edit on 2-7-2012 by beezzer because: (no reason given)



posted on Jul, 2 2012 @ 03:37 PM
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reply to post by smyleegrl
 


Sorry, I misunderstood. I was thinking you gave him a tube. Which as we both know, would be not good.

Carry on, you're on the right track.



posted on Jul, 2 2012 @ 03:38 PM
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Is it possible your Son is simply trying to be more like Mommy because this is where all or most of the positive emotional reinforcement is coming from? When I was growing up Mommy was support and Daddy was education and punishment so the ties to Mommy were stronger.

reply to post by Agarta
 


Very possible. I'm definitely a nurturer, and he has become my little shadow the last couple of months. So maybe it is just identifying with mommy.

We are about to take a two-week road trip through the southwest with my mother-in-law (joy) and my 7 year old nephew. The two of them always play well with each other, and usually they play typical "boy" games. So hopefully this will help.



posted on Jul, 2 2012 @ 03:39 PM
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Originally posted by beezzer
reply to post by smyleegrl
 

Tonight, my 9 year old son made a "Spartan" shield.

Then he drew bunnies on it.
(go figure)


Just relax and be proud that your child wants to emulate you.

It'll be okay.

ETA, the Green Goblin had green lips. So did the Hulk. Food for thought.


edit on 2-7-2012 by beezzer because: (no reason given)


He draws me smiley faces all the time....



posted on Jul, 2 2012 @ 03:43 PM
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My son is 6 years old and an only child.


Here's Dr. Steve Brule about this very topic.

He very much appeals to 6 year olds...




posted on Jul, 2 2012 @ 03:47 PM
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Eh, its just a phase, hes probably just curious. At that age they are still learning about their environment and social and otherwise. When I was around that age I remember putting on my moms high heels for some reason and trying to walk around the house
. At first she thought it was strange but she encouraged my curiosity and I think I turned out like a fairly average guy. My brother went through the same curiousity around the same age. For almost an entire weekend he kept painting his nails different colors.

I think more harm would be done by disallowing it rather than encouraging him to explore. He is just playing, and learning through playing. Honestly from his top 5 reasons I doubt he seriously wants to be a girl, and probably doesnt even understand the implications of what he's saying. It sounds more like he admires and respects you and other adult females in his life (teachers, grandma, etc) and wants to emulate.

"Imitation is the best form of flattery"



posted on Jul, 2 2012 @ 03:50 PM
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Wait till he is old enough to read your post, your baby is your baby it's as simple as that no offence but your child will pick up on your feelings and may create a floor in his personality,in my opinion just leave it!



posted on Jul, 2 2012 @ 03:51 PM
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reply to post by smyleegrl
 


Originally posted by smyleegrl

......but he said no that wasn't REAL lipstick.

Then he said real lipstick was green. So who knows.
To me, that particular detail makes it seem a bit more obvious that he doesn't fully understand what it is that he is actually saying.




Kids have short attention spans anyways.
Today, he may wanna be [color=FF7DC7]Princess Bieber.
Then tomorrow, he may wanna be [color=33FF63]The Incredible Hulk.



[color=878787]P.S. I have no children, so I may not know what I'm talking about.



edit on 7/2/12 by BrokenCircles because: (no reason given)



posted on Jul, 2 2012 @ 03:51 PM
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I really wouldn't worry, I have picture of my son in his sisters clothes, smothered in my lipstick, I even have a pic of him in her pink floaty number, butching it up with his Nerf gun in hand.

I love having these pics......I'm going to tease him mercilessly when he is older ! (There has to be some perks to being a mum)

Then I have my lovely younger daughter, who talks about her "ball sack" I constantly try to explain to her that she doesn't have one, but is unwilling to accept the truth at present, she even went through a stage of trying to pee standing up (I went throught this stage when I was little, funny how kids can repeat what their parents did as kids without ever having been inspired, or informed to then go and copy).

So yeah, totally normal, what it means for the future who knows, at present my son has no interest in girls, and that is how it should be for his age, loves football, guns, and winding up his little sister in general, its just that every now, and again he likes to get in touch with his more feminine side


Oh by the way, if you are in England, try Nivea tinted lip balm, they do one with a hint of pink, which will show up on his lips, its less than three quid, and looks like a lipstick ish type packaging, but will satisfy his urge to paint his lips.
edit on 2-7-2012 by solargeddon because: reccomendation



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