Melatonin and my 'crazy' wife

Hi everyone, hope you are all well.

I have to admit that Melatonin, the pineal gland, lucid dreaming and all other related areas are something that I have absolutley no knowledge about and up until the other day I would have probably taken it all with a pinch of salt however, over the last few days and after some discussions with my wife she has told me a few things that has certainly piqued my interest and so I thought I would share this with you, I hope thats cool.

How it all came about.

The other day I happened to stumble across the fantastic thread written by VeritasAequitas entitled “Melatonin and the Master Gland”, whilst reading through this I noticed a reply that referenced something called binural beats and so naturually ventured off to youtube, searched for the term and started to listen to some of these.

While I was listening to some of these binural beats my wife came into me and asked me what the hell that noise was, I explained a little about what I had read however she wasnt interested and told me to turn it off as it was making her feel ill.

Later on in the evening when we were both together chatting I brought up the subject of these binural beats and how they are supposed to assist with whats called lucid dreaming, I then went on to explain about what lucid dreaming actually was. Her reply to this was “Well, I do that all the time”.

After being told this, I pushed her a lot more in order to make sure she had not misunderstood. In all fairness I thought she had, as she was really laid back about it and seemed to take it all her stride, as if it was no big deal.

What I managed to get from her is that she is always aware that she is dreaming and will quite often choose to change the parameters of a dream she is having. Anyway I explained to her that this was a pretty frikkin special gift to have, but still she sees it as no big deal.

Following this discovery about my wife I am now, naturally, more interested in this subject and so start reading up a little more. One of the subjects I read about was astral projection which is what I understand to be leaving your body whilst in a dream. After discussing this with my wife she also confirms that she does experience this however she did say that it is not a regular occurance and it tended to happen more when she was a teenager.

A bit about my wife and what i found strange

Okay first of all, it feels a bit strange constantly calling her 'my wife' and so, for the record her name is Sam and so I will refer to her as that from now on.

Sam suffers from depression, or so her doctor says. Because of this she has been on the anti depressant called venaflaxine for the last 6 years. As far as I am aware this medication should reduce Sams melatonin levels which I assume would mean that she should not be lucid dreaming, however she says that its just the norm for her and something she has always done.

Am I correct in this, should Sam have lower melatonin levels? Should Sam be lucid dreaming? Is it common to lucid dream all the time?

I welcome anyones input or opinions on this.

Am I putting 2 and 2 together and getting 5

Another thing, although perhaps unrealted is that Sam quite often sees things however it is something that she will not often openly talk about. I have known this since we first got together around 15 years ago. In fact, one of the first times we spent the night together she informed me the following day that she had awoke in the night and saw a black figure standing over me. My response was “Sam, if you ever see anything standing over me again then dont tell me, I just dont want to know” lol.

I must admit that as the majority of things she has seen have been at night, I did tend to think it was just her imagination or part of a dream however, more recently I was with her when she saw something in the middle of the day. It was a bit weird as I could not see anything at all, I even went as far as going to the part of the room where she was saying this 'apparition' was and started waving my hand about to proove there was nothing there and although I just laughed it off at the time it was something that did seem to scare Sam in fact at the time, while this was happening she was was crying quite hysterically.

That last incident was a good few years ago and it something that we just dont speak about now, in fact, In hindsight, I probably should have handled it a bit better as being a bit of a joker at the time, I had a tendancy to just laugh things like that off.

There are a few other things about Sam that are.. for want of a better word, unique. Actaully, its what drew me to her.

She is 100% ruled by emotion, I see her go through so many emotions in a day its unreal. She also is heavily effected by other peoples emotions. This, in my opinion also ties in with her depression. She has had periods in her life where she has been around some real negative people, its during these periods where her mood drops really low. She spoke to her doctor about this and all that he did is prescribe her the venaflaxine.

Her communication skills are amazing, I dont just mean the spoken word but what I have noticed is that she can form instant bonds with absolutley anyone. I honestly have never known anyone not like her.

Also, animals... Im thinking im sounding a bit nuts here but she will go to any animal and give it lots of love, ive seen her go up and fuss dogs in the street even when the owner is warning her that the dog bites, as soon as she fusses the dog it becomes placid. In fact, im scared of big dogs and it baffles her as to why, she just cant understand it.

Her night terrors are unreal, i often wake up in the night with her thrashing about, kicking out and moaning. She will also often just jump out of bed while still asleep and then stand staring into nowhere. One more strange thing is that on several occasions she will stop breathing and wake up all of a sudden crying and gasping for air.

And you know, the strangest thing is that Sam is not spiritual in any way. In fact she is probably the very opposite of most people here on this site, lol. She loves her material items, she loves her mind numbing TV shows and shes a sucker for the latest trends. Anything that is abnormal such as seeing things, etc she would really just rather not talk about it and pretend it does not happen.

I did get Sams permission before posting this on here. I also asked her if she would answer anyones questions if they had any.

I would really welcome anyones input as to there take on any of this or suggestions on any further reading for both Sam and myself.

Finally, im sure you all know i was joking when i used the term crazy, in fact she is far from crazy, she is the best example of a human being i have ever known and obviously i love her immensly. Funnily enough the only person that is not able to see how special she is is her, lol.

Have a smashing day and sorry if my post was a bit long.

I don't think lucid dreaming is a big deal either, or a special gift. Not only can you learn to do it almost constantly, it's fairly common for people to experience lucid dreaming without learning and isn't particularly unusual.

I used to lucid dream a lot, it tends to depend most on your state of mind as you drift off. Think about your dreams and focus on your state of consciousness, and you'll tend to be aware of the entire process of falling asleep, and then keep that awareness well into your dream. There are other ways of triggering awareness once you're already in the dream, but staying conscious throughout is the easiest way.

She sounds like a really great person. I'd love to discuss stuff with her if she would ever choose to do so. I suspect we would have quite a lot to say to each other.

I am much like she is in that lucid dreaming is just a matter of fact, nothing special. I too have been diagnosed with depression of various sorts and degrees. I have tried medicines but I simply cannot cope with what they do to me. That's something I would like to discuss with her, if she would agree to do so.

My daughter is one who sees things much as your wife does. She can tell me when there's someone/something around. I can feel it, but my daughter sees it every time.

In fact, I have a small circle of people I know right across the globe who see and confirm all manner of goings-on, so if Sam would agree to it, it would be great to have her along, should she wish to pursue these skills further.

Honestly, lucid dreams, though interesting, are nothing out of the ordinary and there is a LOT more out there that is *truly* mind-blowing.

reply to post by HumanPLC


I have been lucid dreaming and having out of body experiences all my life.I thought it was normal and that everyone did it. Turns out that is not the case. The fact that she knows the difference between OBE and lucid dreams shows she is experiencing them. A lot of people tend to write off the OBE as a lucid dream, but they are very different. I myself have never been into spirituality and the new age movement.I simply see it as a tool for selling books, crystals, ect..Good story..

I beg to differ, i personally do not think that LD and OBEs are "very" different, in fact i think they are extremely closely related.

Could you elaborate why you think they are different?

reply to post by humphreysjim


Yeah, i see what you are saying. I think i tend to see it more as a big deal because i dont lucid dream at all. I do have vivid dreams sometimes but I dont think i have ever been aware that i was in a dream let alone control it.

I was saying to Sam last night that it must be awesome to be able to do that as you are in a world without restraints, you can literally think up something and then just do it.

reply to post by CosmicEgg


She is a great person, i know im a bias and so are obviously going to say that but everyone else can see it to. I dont think my description in my OP really did her justice, she is the type of person who you can just feel that there is something different about her. Its strange though, as i said, the only person wont accept that is her.

As for her seeing things, i honestly dont know why i have just kind of brushed it under the carpet myself, i can only say that it was my way of dealing with something that i didnt understand. In fact, i am aware that its probably down to me that she dosent like talking about it as i have taken the mickey out of her a few times.

Im sure she would love to chat with you, shes not home until about about 6-7 pm GMT (were in UK) but i will ask her to come on here and answer anything you want to ask, if thats cool.

reply to post by CallYourBluff


Yes, that is very similar to Sam, she just dosent see it as any big deal at all, she never even knew it was called lucid dreaming until i discussed it with her but thats Sam all over, she just takes it in her stride.

It seems strange to me that anyone would not know when they are dreaming. I'm aware that some people aren't able to take control and alter any dream as desired. I don't know if this next is typical or not of "lucid" dreaming, but my dreams are always full color and full sensation including touch (texture too), taste, and odors. I have also often awakened in the middle of a dream, done things like taking a phone call for 10 or so minutes, and decide to go back into the same dream to pick up where I left off. That is almost always successful.

On the flip side, I do tend to concentrate on some topics to the point where I shut off awareness of all sensations including vision and my body goes on autopilot. The first time I thought this might be dangerous was after leaving a class in college, the next thing I noticed I was trying to put a key into my room's door. I realized that I must have crossed several streets completely unaware that I was even walking.

Sam sounds special in many ways -- she might trying seeking someone to teach her what she needs to know while dreaming. That can be accomplished.

I wouldn't hazard a guess at whether melatonin levels make any difference. I will say I have wondered, but have no personal experience, whether elements of the dream state can manifest while one is awake if they are tired enough or allowing their mind to randomly wander. If Sam experiences one of these again, she might try taking control of an "apparition" as if she were dreaming and get it to simply leave.

I do think that you might be able to learn how to take control of a dream if you give yourself permission to take control of a dream while falling asleep.

reply to post by BayesLike


Well as for me and my dreams, i work as a web app developer and so all i tend to think about before going to sleep is computer code problems, i cant remember most of my dreams but even if i could it wouldnt be pretty, lol.

As for someone teaching Sam, i suppose guidence is what i was hoping to find through some further reading into this subject. Im also aware that its all up to Sam though and its not a decision i can make for her. I must admit that she does seem quite receptive to the idea and does seem eager to find out a little more now that i have discussed it with her. She still see it as no biggie though.

reply to post by HumanPLC


It sounds to me like your partner is very open to the spirit realms, but chooses not to go there because of the amount of energy required to deal with these things. No doubt she has no reference point for these happenings/disturbances (ie never had a proper spiritual mentor to guide her). I would not be surprised if she was a shaman(ess) of some sort in a previous life.

I know you probably see these abilites as a talent, but many psychics feel like their 'gift' is more a curse because they are constantly seeing or feeling super-natural forces around them. I once knew a very good psychic who had to give up her business practice because she was way too sensitive and it was reaking havoc with her personal life.

If you want some advice, tell her to be very mindful of who she hangs out with and what she listens to, reads or watches - if it's negative or of a low frequency then stay away from it. Best too that she aligns herself with something very powerful and protecting like 'Christ Consciousness' - there is no higher vibrational energy.

Peace to You and Sam

reply to post by HumanPLC


I'm two hours ahead of you, in Finland. Do have her come and chat, or we can do so on another chat client. I'd love to "meet" her.

I don't know how much she accepts of this "spooky" stuff, but it might make it easier if she knew how many of us there are. We can help each other in so many ways.

reply to post by nimbinned


Funny you should mention that. Up here in my part of the world, I think just about every psychic I've heard of (of the old school) has suffered with fibromyalgia to the point that they can't do really much of anything at all. The new school psychics are basically all frauds here so it's quite a sad state of affairs.

As for myself, I work with psychics to some extent but my focus is in energy work, healing, and ... other stuff. I'm honing other skills all the time.

reply to post by nimbinned


Thanks for your kind words and wishes. Yes you are correct, i do see it as a talent of sorts. In my honest opinion i think that Sam struggles to be open minded about it but i am hoping that i have now got her interested enough to at least explore this a little bit and come to her own conclusions.

reply to post by CosmicEgg


Yes, for sure, if you like i will send you a message a bit later when she is home.

You know, your post about fibromyalgia struck a chord. To be honest i had to look up what it was however it bears a striking similarity to a disorder that Sam also suffers from called Trigemnial neuralga. They are both a nerve disorders aggrivated by pressure. i also noticed that the same medication (anti convulsant) is used to treat both of these disorders.. Sam was treated with carbamazepine which she stopped taking because it was "making her feel like a zombie".

HI Sam and your confused hubby,

I enjoyed reading your tale about your wife and her experiences.
If I may , it seems to me that your wife , Sam, is very open to a reality that most don't perceive. Much like having and extended sence other than the normal five.

I also believe that Sam is an empath , and I will include a link that explains what that is all about.
As for the depression through this type of sensitivity , well that will also be explained in the link.
Now medication or prescibed medication ,is often given to people who are more sensitive to the world around them and the hidden world. It has been taken so far in past history as to classify these gifted sensitives as insane. This by the way has been a gross misunderstanding of this phenomena.

There are many tools that can be used to manage these events and with a little research you will be able to find out other sources of information about Sam's abilities.

Its a bit like being a lighthouse with your lights beaming out into the ethers, Sam is a very bright lighthouse and as a result attracts both the curious and the needy spirits.

I hope this may be of help .
I am a " Functional Empath" and are able to control the flow of emotional information so that it is comfortable and doesn’t overwhelm me on most occasions.

What is An Empath

She is 100% ruled by emotion, I see her go through so many emotions in a day its unreal. She also is heavily effected by other peoples emotions. This, in my opinion also ties in with her depression. She has had periods in her life where she has been around some real negative people, its during these periods where her mood drops really low. She spoke to her doctor about this and all that he did is prescribe her the venaflaxine. Her communication skills are amazing, I dont just mean the spoken word but what I have noticed is that she can form instant bonds with absolutley anyone. I honestly have never known anyone not like her. Also, animals... Im thinking im sounding a bit nuts here but she will go to any animal and give it lots of love, ive seen her go up and fuss dogs in the street even when the owner is warning her that the dog bites, as soon as she fusses the dog it becomes placid. In fact, im scared of big dogs and it baffles her as to why, she just cant understand it. Her night terrors are unreal, i often wake up in the night with her thrashing about, kicking out and moaning. She will also often just jump out of bed while still asleep and then stand staring into nowhere. One more strange thing is that on several occasions she will stop breathing and wake up all of a sudden crying and gasping for air. And you know, the strangest thing is that Sam is not spiritual in any way. In fact she is probably the very opposite of most people here on this site, lol. She loves her material items, she loves her mind numbing TV shows and shes a sucker for the latest trends. Anything that is abnormal such as seeing things, etc she would really just rather not talk about it and pretend it does not happen.

Wow, except for the night terrors part, I completely see myself in your description of Sam. It actually crossed my mind that my husband was writing but that's impossible. I was also diagnosed as having depression and they put me on several different anti depressants which basically made me a different person. Not a less depressed person, just a different one.

I do have a questions regarding meds and Sam; does she have a different than normal reaction to meds? Example: do drugs have a different or opposite effect on her as compared to the normal effect on others?

reply to post by HumanPLC


Oh wow. Okay now I should really speak to her. Please do shoot me a message later when she's around. There are a few things I'd like to ask her about. There are some serious "coincidences" here that I'd really like to pursue a bit further. There may be a lot more to her than you might imagine. That "depression" doesn't sound like depression at all anymore, as it wasn't actually for me. That's why the meds were so incredibly bad for me, I'm sure. It will be interesting to see what comes of all this.

For some reason whenever I try to cut this part out of your quote, everything jumps around and the same part gets deleted every single time... No idea why this is happening so I just copy pasted it in quote, sorry.

She is 100% ruled by emotion, I see her go through so many emotions in a day its unreal. She also is heavily effected by other peoples emotions. This, in my opinion also ties in with her depression. She has had periods in her life where she has been around some real negative people, its during these periods where her mood drops really low. She spoke to her doctor about this and all that he did is prescribe her the venaflaxine.

Could you ask her to read up on bipolar disorder or manic depression? What you describe (without the lucid dreaming) dominated my life for a good (bad) couple of years, till I finally got cured of it. Mainstream psychology is really behind in my opinion, instead of looking at what is causing the behavior, it tends to just prescribe medication, which I refused to take.

To illustrate the severity, before you think "why should I even listen to this person telling me medication is bad?"; I went to therapist, psychiatrists and psychologists and in the end, before I was "healed", I even went to a mental institution. But NOTHING worked, because the problem is always INSIDE and those people can either help you with that, or try to cure you the lazy way, which is the preferred route (as is/was with your wife). I refused medication, even though I was severely depressed and suicidal for a couple of years, because I knew that the meds would not solve the problem, it would only hide it till the day I stopped taking the meds.

When I left the institution after a whole (lol) day, the next day I made an appointment to get a spiritual healing. At first, I was recommended to go to the woman by a good friend of my father, who had visited the women (from the healing) before for a massage, it helped him relax, and he suggested to my father I could go have a look there, no harm done right... I didn't go for a massage or anything, rather a "reconnective healing", basic explanation; cleaning your chakra's and reconnecting yourself to your higher self.

Bare with me, at that point I still was pretty much convinced that it was garbage, but I was open to it, if nothing happened, my beliefs were confirmed, if something did, I was in for a nice ride I reckoned, so I went.

It was a rather strange experience, I wanted to feel things I didn't feel, but at the same time, something DID happen. It took me a while, but after a couple of weeks, something happened to me, I believe I experienced an ego death or at least a massive decrease of it. I started searching for confirmation of my feelings and experience, and quickly found that I was not alone, that many others have gone before me and that many others will follow.

Why this wall of text? Perhaps it would be useful to recommend something similar to your wife? Believe me, the meds are the worst route to follow, it should be the final step after you have tried everything else. As I have said before, it doesn't cure anything, it merely hides the symptoms and they WILL come back once she (or anyone else for that matter) stops taking them.


Of course, I don't know the cause for her being depressed etc, and I can't guarantee anything will come from "my" technique, but I do believe it's certainly worth a try, especially since she's on medications and I feel she hasn't tried this yet, so; go for it! I was a skeptical, till it changed my life,... I'm more happy than I can recall ever feeling in my life, there was nothing but emptiness inside of me which is now filled with love and understanding.

Another very very very useful technique that you should at least inform her about is to observe one's own thoughts. The thoughts are not the person, when I feel angry now, I ask myself; why am I angry? Why do I feel the need to be angry? How would I react if my mind didn't tell me to become angry? (for example) This helps so much, more people should try it, in combination with realizing that everything is here for a reason and thus there is no reason to be mad about anything.

Also, I have a short list of books that I try to share with other people who seem like they can use it, because they helped me realize what I am, and I'm convinced they can help others too;

* Anything by Eckhart Tolle, amazing quick-guide to understanding yourself, what you are, why you think the way you do, etc...
* Books on Buddhism, by the Dalai Llama and anyone related

There's more, but these helped me a lot, and it's a personal journey anyway, what didn't help me might help her most, so I can only point in a certain direction, nothing more. Also, you don't have to be religious or interested in Buddhism or anything for the books to make sense, they're basically philosophies for life, inspired by living in harmony with everything else in the universe

Peace and love!

reply to post by Pinkorchid


Pinkorchid is right. You wife is an empath. Please read up on it as much as you can.

She most likely isn't depressed, she is just feeling, sensing, and experiencing other's depression and emotions.

My wife has sleep apnea too so I know what you go through.

I am also empathic with an affinity to animals as well as being overly sensitive some would call it. I call it feelings and I have them. The depth I feel I assume others feel as deeply yet reality shows me not everyone is even capable of feeling for any but themselves.

I worry about the night terrors your wife goes through and if she is seeing dark apparitions I would look into getting a solid grounding in Faith. Belief in God is probably the only thing that separates me from being others worst nightmare yet it isn't in my nature (because I feel so deeply)

I wonder about drug therapy of being any use. I know bi-polar people who are always on the edge and being drugged isn't being true to oneself. Just because a person is fluctuating emotionally within their minds by a chemical imbalance doesn't necessarily mean another drug in the mix would help. IMO what would help is first hitting bottom then stabilizing between that outlook and a natural high. Emotions are what release the brain chemicals but artificially inducing the chemical release isn't changing the thought pattern although it changes the mood. When the pills wear off the thought patterns are still there.

My best advice to you to help her ( and for everyone really) is simply make her feel loved. Love is the opiate of the soul.

Does Sam dream of animals as often as I do? I have talked to animals in my dreams a couple of times but for the most part the dream is of the kind that leaves me feeling a residue of unconditional love that lasts for days (or even is restored by just thinking of the dream)

Reality always brings me back down to earth and sometimes I would just like to be all alone so I can get back in touch with self but that is sometimes the hardest thing to do... finding that place of serenity in a world of turmoil.

My Faith in God is what keeps it real for me otherwise I could be my own worst nightmare. And, I never have nightmares even though they would terrify others. I do lucid dream but not always and sometimes I am more the observer than the participant.

I might add that after 911 we are all different. We all came down a notch on the humor ladder as well as going up notches in other arenas, fear being only one. What the world needed to heal was buenos notches but sadly humor is something that not all can understand because it is a different language to their reality.

But I digresses, if I can ask one more question, what is the predominately listened to music in your home? You mentioned binaural beats but is your music preference like something that grates the nerves and grinds down serenity? If so a simple change might induce a calmer sleep...

Hey everyone,

I feel a bit guilty ignoring posts but i just wanted to let you know that i am waiting for Sam to get home so that she can post on here and answer some of these questions. She will only be about an hour or so.

Seriously though thanks for all your input so far, its really cool to get other peoples views.

i often have lucid dreams.

as for the melatonin connection i think that's a stretch. i don't think that just because something has been said to lower melatonin levels then you won't have lucid dreams. especially if she's always been a vivid dreamer. some antidepressants can cause you to have more strange dreams.

i'm also very emotional and can easily have my energy zapped by negative people. i hate that.