Need advice from a Woman!

Believe it or not, not all women will screw the father of their child over for child support. I did no such thing with my ex over our child, even though I could if I had wanted to. My ex was going through his second or third childhood, and I didn't want to raise two kids, that's the only reason I left. My home life is pretty well structured, and having people over until dark thirty in the morning isn't going to happen when there's a child involved. The woman here is being confronted with a huge change in her life, and as you said, she is pretty guarded with her emotions already. Be there. Just be close if she needs you, quietly supporting her in her decisions. Don't loom over her, don't pester, but be there like a shelter for when her life becomes stormy. It may take years, but one day she will see that you haven't failed her or your child. I won't say you two will get back together ( never go back, only forward) but just make sure that you have a good relationship with your offspring.

reply to post by bluemirage5


Obviously this isn't about me. I didn't say it was. Like many others who have posted, I was merely giving an example of how being naive in the beginning can cost big in the end. Just saying, "I played nice and it didn't work out well for me." wouldn't have had the same effect as elaborating on it.

reply to post by TechUnique

Bottom line OP - she either is, or isn't, the kind of person who would use your child against you and chances are you won't find out until the time comes. The best thing you can do is actively protect your interest in your child, talk to a good lawyer and leave nothing to chance or (her good mood). There are enough sad stories out there to show that good intentions may flip on a moment.

Hey TechUnique, sorry you're going through this

Look you're a smart guy so if you had any kind of relationship with her (which you obviously did , then I'm sure she had lots of redeeming qualities, including one where she isn't the type to get all evil over child access....

Unless she has very good reasons for doing so, then there is no way on earth that she can stop you seeing your child so don't go worrying about that...

Also, I'm sure you know how women's hormones are responsible for a lot of our strange behaviour - and that's not even when we're pregnant Her head is probably all over the place so just be patient & understanding, meet her half way and you never know how things will turn out.

Oh and the posters telling you to get a lawyer and claim paternity now - I personally think that's taking things waaaay too far and is only going to result in p*****g her off and landing you with a large bill.