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Anyway...my main question: Is it possible for Source to have an origin?? If so, can he remember it since Krshna states he remembers all? Does he know where hes going? What is the ' endgame' so to speak? What is the universe doing?
I have found that imposing upon yourself the giving up of worldly things is opposite to the designed order.
Upon the Presence showing through the open Door, all worldy things no longer have any luster. You do not surrender all things to get to the Communion, it is the Communion that causes all things to dissolve and fade away. Absolutely everything is "sacrificed". Every religion is gone for you but you see the Path leading to the Communion hidden in them all of them that you didn't see before.
There is no choice, there is no off switch, there is no bridge to go back over to those worldy things. You wouldn't have it any other way as you dwell in constant awe constantly working to not "stare". (Nothing to do with electromagnetic frequencies in the visible light band)
Nevertheless, until one becomes perfectly fixed in bhakti-yoga, pure devotional service to the Supreme Lord, one should carefully avoid contacting material sense objects. An aspiring devotee may meet various obstacles and fall down, but in his next life he will continue his practice by dint of what he has already accomplished in devotional service.
Of the nonexistent(physical) there is no endurance, and of the eternal there is no change.
All created beings are unmanifest in the beginning, manifest in their interim state, and unmanifest again when annihilated. So what need is there for lamentation
Be established in the self
You have a right to perform your prescribed duty, but you are not entitled to the fruits of action. Never consider yourself the cause of the results of your activities, and never be attached to not doing your duty.
By thus engaging in devotional service to the Lord, great sages or devotees free themselves from the results of work in the material world. In this way they become free from the cycle of birth and death and attain the state beyond all miseries.