posted on Jun, 30 2012 @ 09:33 AM
I want to disagree with the "First Love" concept of that person always holding your heart - my personal experience was that while I did hold this
person for what seemed like an eternity (ten years) somehow suddenly the hold was gone. Whoosh - just like that - and my reality shifted as I looked
back without that shadow looming over my life. Really it was as if my past changed and the perspective of looking back with a new freedom altered the
way I percieved my past as well as myself. This was very odd as the person did exert a sort of spell over me, or I held a bit of an obsession. When
it was gone it was gone. With no malice - no bad terms - as a mattter of fact I could speak to him now as with any other friend that I have never
held in Love, with kindness and familiarity of sharing some past together. But. There simply is no emotion left where once there was this gaping
abyss of pain over unrequited Love. I have meditated on the oddness of this complete change. It was as if this Lost Love emotion had a life of its
own and became a sort of spiritual presense that always accompanied me and then one day it simply left my side.
There is "no singlar ONE" that got away from me. What a glory it is to have freedom from some shadow of the past.
My current situation feels like the last dance ~ and oddly and unexpectedly he came into my life little more then one year ago and when he arrived my
spirit recognized him as the one I thought would always come, though I had given up on the fantasy of "the one" - yet low and behold he did show up.
What is unusual about this situation is honestly I felt him as a psychic presense as far back as 23 years ago. He has had a very unusual and distinct
life and he would "visit" me over the years despite my relationships of the time. (The message or feeling was, that THE ONE was out there in the
world somewhere and sometimes it was as if I knew where he was, looking at it now its as if these visitations always happened when his life faced a
certain risk.) He very distinctly came to me in spirit in 2008 when I felt him so strongly it almost knocked me down. I was walking across my yard
near sunset and this image of him hit me so hard I nearly doubled over. What the Hell I thought, still - still he is out there. The message came
back in affirmative. Suddenly I knew where he was as well, Afghanistan. He nearly lost his life. When he showed up, I thought certainly this cannot
be. But his real life matched these nagging spirit visitations that have always seemed to imply that "the one" was out there.
We are not young, almost 50 the both of us . . . and yet here it is ~ I am not sure what it all means but I am awake to life's message. I am taking
notes. I am learning as I go. As I look over my past I can assure you - never give up hope, and never assume your greatest Love was in the past . .
First Loves are often childhood fantasy ~ when your spirit and soul has developed through your journey on this plane and if it is meant in this
lifetime . . . truest Love will come.
edit on 30-6-2012 by LittleBirdSaid because: (no reason given)