Fifty Shades of Grey

Originally posted by EvanB
reply to post by blupblup

 

50 shades of Birmingham...

Cumming up....

My loins are all a quiver!!

reply to post by EvanB

OMG...that was tooo funny! Is this a trend going around? My friend in S.A. wrote "Fifty Shades of Danville: A True South African Love Story."

Originally posted by blupblup

Originally posted by EvanB
reply to post by blupblup

 

50 shades of Birmingham...

Cumming up....

My loins are all a quiver!!

"Now, aisle be havin’ nun o’this tyin’ oop perlava, so fa cruin’ owt lowd, wi’yow jus’ bung it in the ‘ole or aisle be missin’ me buzz. Awroight?"

reply to post by Biliverdin




*Faints with excitement*

Evan sent me reaching for the tissues....

Bloody Nora that had me crying with laughter!


Welp I don't know about anyone else but I'm getting a bit fed up with it all. I'd like to be able to prop up the bar and enjoy a pint of Guinness or 5 without having to overhear barmaids having a conversation about fisting or swollen nipples. I'm on the verge of shouting "Look luv, just pull me pint and I'll give you a spare set of nipple pumps okay"?

A bloke OH works with said his missis had bought the book to read while they are on holiday. He's quizzed her about it and she's being deliberately vague thinking he doesn't know what it's all about already. OH suggested for a laugh he should pull some nipple clamps, handcuffs and a whip out of his bag while away. I'll wager bricks will be shat.

Twas in the news the other day that some bloke got done for squirting sauce in his girlfriends face. He'd got serious issues with her reading what he deemed porno and stomped around her house o show her the true meaning of saucy. He actually got fined. I damn near died laughing.

reply to post by VreemdeVlieendeVoorwep

It's refreshing to hear a guy's opinion on this book. I have so many girlfriends who just rave about it but I do think its pretty awful. The repeating of the same phrases just killed me! Do you have any better books that you can recommend in this genre?
Laters-Alena

Exit To Eden --- by Anne Rice

My girlfriend has read all the books, and Im sooo glad she did

Costing me a fortune at Anne Summers though... But money well spent..

Still working through the other books scenarios with gusto.. Just putting an extension on my house for my own red room of pain, after all every house needs one now and it will give me somewhere to put this big cross..

Im still working on 50 shades of Brum.. Just thinking of a name for the male character.. Im thinking Kevin or Dave..

Originally posted by Alena Michelle
reply to post by EvanB

 

OMG...that was tooo funny! Is this a trend going around? My friend in S.A. wrote "Fifty Shades of Danville: A True South African Love Story."

Maybe.. There is a lot of parodies at the moment... My missus has really took it to heart though.. Never knew she was soo kinky!

I like it!!

50 Shades of Brum..

"Friday afternoon and the weekend has started, Ahm In such a gud moowed, on me way hum from the Social with a Crisis Loan, so It looks like a lemon sesh tonight. I see a lad In the Bus Station, shaved head and off white Adidas trackies tucked Into Donnaaay socks, the look polished off with scuffed brown Rockport boots and a Henleys T-Shirt. As arh got closer the Lynx effect took over, arh could not resist the scent of Drum Tobacco and ow Day Old Spice. He looked at me and I got a bit flustered loik. I girlishly rolled back my Juicy Coture hoody sleeves to reveal me very feminine full sleeve tattoo. The bus arrives as he walks towards me, In his hand he had a brand new Blackberry.. Bloody ell he must be loaded!. "Alroight love" he says In a boyish way, I feel my face go warm, I turn slightly crimson but I plucked up the courage and opened me mouth, the words that followed shocked even meself. "Bus Station toilets?" I couldn't believe what I said, he looked me up and down as I kicked the floor In me clapped out Ugg boots and bit me bottom lip. He said "Dow yo bite ya bottom lip, I wanna do that" Five minutes had passed and to me shock here we are.. It was so rowmantic...the flashing fluorescent tubes on the ceiling, piss soaked floor and the stentch to match. We walk Into a cubicle and he drops his kecks, the sight was to die for, I Ignored the smell and latched on to It like a babee on a nipple. He was so gentle he only made me gag twice. I gasp for air wiping the spit from me face smudging my fake tan. He pulls my leggings down and gently bends me over the toilet, the seats missing but I didn't care, he took me then over the bog. After at least forty seconds I hear him groan as he shoots his muck In me. Thank blodday nora I am on the pill I thought. He quickly pulls up his trahsers saying his bus Is due and as I spark up a Lambert & Butler I feel so aloiyve.....

Originally posted by EvanB
My girlfriend has read all the books, and Im sooo glad she did

Costing me a fortune at Anne Summers though... But money well spent..

Still working through the other books scenarios with gusto.. Just putting an extension on my house for my own red room of pain, after all every house needs one now and it will give me somewhere to put this big cross..

Im still working on 50 shades of Brum.. Just thinking of a name for the male character.. Im thinking Kevin or Dave..

Every home should have a St Andrews cross.
I never go to Anne Summers, the stuff doesn't last. I'm more of a B&Q /Pets at home consumer.
Those cheap bug zapping fly swatters are hours of fun.

Originally posted by Suspiria

Originally posted by EvanB
My girlfriend has read all the books, and Im sooo glad she did

Costing me a fortune at Anne Summers though... But money well spent..

Still working through the other books scenarios with gusto.. Just putting an extension on my house for my own red room of pain, after all every house needs one now and it will give me somewhere to put this big cross..

Im still working on 50 shades of Brum.. Just thinking of a name for the male character.. Im thinking Kevin or Dave..

Every home should have a St Andrews cross.

I never go to Anne Summers, the stuff doesn't last. I'm more of a B&Q /Pets at home consumer.
Those cheap bug zapping fly swatters are hours of fun.

Im not moaning about having to go to B an Q either at the moment!

I will take your fly swatters on board.... Will make a change from the jump leads and this big 100 ahc battery lol... Hours of fun indeed..

Originally posted by EvanB
50 Shades of Brum..

"Friday afternoon and the weekend has started, Ahm In such a gud moowed, on me way hum from the Social with a Crisis Loan, so It looks like a lemon sesh tonight. I see a lad In the Bus Station, shaved head and off white Adidas trackies tucked Into Donnaaay socks, the look polished off with scuffed brown Rockport boots and a Henleys T-Shirt. As arh got closer the Lynx effect took over, arh could not resist the scent of Drum Tobacco and ow Day Old Spice. He looked at me and I got a bit flustered loik. I girlishly rolled back my Juicy Coture hoody sleeves to reveal me very feminine full sleeve tattoo. The bus arrives as he walks towards me, In his hand he had a brand new Blackberry.. Bloody ell he must be loaded!. "Alroight love" he says In a boyish way, I feel my face go warm, I turn slightly crimson but I plucked up the courage and opened me mouth, the words that followed shocked even meself. "Bus Station toilets?" I couldn't believe what I said, he looked me up and down as I kicked the floor In me clapped out Ugg boots and bit me bottom lip. He said "Dow yo bite ya bottom lip, I wanna do that" Five minutes had passed and to me shock here we are.. It was so rowmantic...the flashing fluorescent tubes on the ceiling, piss soaked floor and the stentch to match. We walk Into a cubicle and he drops his kecks, the sight was to die for, I Ignored the smell and latched on to It like a babee on a nipple. He was so gentle he only made me gag twice. I gasp for air wiping the spit from me face smudging my fake tan. He pulls my leggings down and gently bends me over the toilet, the seats missing but I didn't care, he took me then over the bog. After at least forty seconds I hear him groan as he shoots his muck In me. Thank blodday nora I am on the pill I thought. He quickly pulls up his trahsers saying his bus Is due and as I spark up a Lambert & Butler I feel so aloiyve.....

edit on 26-7-2012 by EvanB because: (no reason given)

....Um. I need a smoke. BRB

haven't read it, i can write better porn myself, but this made me laugh so i thought i'd share it

Would the book be this popular if it wasn't for all the ridiculous media hype about it? Especially if it's as badly written has previously mentioned and has such a cheesy story line?

I loooved the books. I found them VERY hot. : )

reply to post by EvanB


HahahahhhahHAH
Tears are rollling down my face..

I guess I'm out of the loop on steamy chick novels.....my cousin just gave me this book to read on my flight home from the east coast, I had never heard of it. I just finished reading it, and honestly it was quite disturbing, but for some reason I couldn't put it down....lol.....

I hated the ending ....very sad....not sure if I will read the next two. I thought it was interesting to learn more about how the whole Dom / Sub thing works.....and the way the characters negotiate thier needs and boundries.

But at the heart of this book is a Love story, and that's why it appeals to women I think. Any woman that has ever been Madly in Love with the "bad boy" knows those painful moments that in order to be with him, you have to compromise a part of your soul.....lol....I suspect it is not the end of the "adventures" between Miss Steele and Mr Grey......yikes......

Ugh. I used to believe that all book burnings were a bad thing. With the sudden popularity of the 50 Shades epidemic, now I'm not so sure.