Married with Children

How about a fun thread with just "shorts" about your married life with children.

Me first.

Last weekend, we were sitting around the diningroom table playing Monopoly. My piece was in "Jail".

My dear sweet wife rolled the dice and counted out her moves, when she got to the jail she said, "I've moved on", then continued her moves.



Anyone have any other stories

Once, My wife broke a beer bottle over my arm and ripped open my bicep.
Good times.....Gooooood times.

Christmas time, and my husband had made chocolate fudge. At supper, we were trying to get our 3 year old to try a piece, but he refused. He was asking me for more carrots and I actually told him, "No more carrots until you eat the fudge.".

NOT one of my prouder moments.

Fun shorts? Well, I've always found the expression "married with children" a bit funny in itself.

Originally posted by GmoS719
Once, My wife broke a beer bottle over my arm and ripped open my bicep.
Good times.....Gooooood times.

I can just feel the love in the room.

Originally posted by smyleegrl
Christmas time, and my husband had made chocolate fudge. At supper, we were trying to get our 3 year old to try a piece, but he refused. He was asking me for more carrots and I actually told him, "No more carrots until you eat the fudge.".

NOT one of my prouder moments.

I read that out to my wife who just rolled!

Originally posted by Nightchild
Fun shorts? Well, I've always found the expression "married with children" a bit funny in itself.

Oh, believe me.

It's a riot!

One time my wife got really fat, we went to the hospital and she seemed to lose a lot of weight.
After that it seemed I was out of cash always.

Just this morning, my son used a bottle of superglue as Chapstick.

Lips are unstuck, but man he's a mess.

Nice thread idea Beez.

About a month ago I took my kids down to the park where a large group of Muslims were having some sort of get-together. My daughter - 3 - was absolutely fascinated by the headscarves all the women were wearing. A few days later she was at kindy and I went to pick her up.

I asked the teacher how she was that day and the teacher replied that she'd been good all day (a first in itself). However at lunchtime play she pulled her t-shirt up and off just leaving the head-hole stuck around her head (so you could see her face but not her hair) and decided to run around the playground yelling "MUSLIM! MUSLIM! MUSLIM!"

Honestly I don't know where she gets it from...

Great idea Beezzer!

Not long after my daughter first learned to use the phone on her own she asked me if she could call her dad at work to say hi. I told her to go ahead and ask him what time he was going to be home while she was at it. She dialed the number and I stayed in the kitchen to start fixing dinner. Next thing I hear is not "hey daddy" it's "Hello Clarice" done in a spooky mock voice!

I came to the living room and I can hear my husband laughing through the phone. She was too young to see the movie and I had never let her see it. I was not sure where she picked it up but I was literally myself. Just out of the blue...we still laugh about that and it has been ages ago.

My wife is kinda like my Ferrari.


She doesn't exist.