Need Help - Not Able to Focus or Get Things Done

I wasn't sure where to ask this, so I'm posting this here. My problem isn't physically but rather mentally. My life has been a hard one, and continues to be hard. Everyday is an uphill battle for me and at times, I wish it would all stop. And if I didn't know better, I would have taken my life a long time ago just to stop stressing out each and every single day. I won't go into details as it's not pertinent to this thread.

However, one thing I was always good at, was to step back in "third person view" and take a look at my life, what I needed to do to get things done and make goals for myself. But for the past two or so years, I've been totally unable to take the third person view and now, almost feel like I'm being taken for a ride which I can't control or get a bearing over where I'm going.

I used to have my own method of meditation which worked wonders, however now it just feels like it's a place where I disappear within myself, not really contributing to anything of value as it did once before. I guess what I'm in need of is some suggestions to what I can do to help me gain focus so I can get things done.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

It sounds like your dealing with a bout of depression.

Its a pain, and there is no shame seeking help, I know people here rally against modern pharmacology but if there is an actual chemical imbalance it could help.

As well as there are many "natural" aids to help depression.

Death is so terribly final, while life is full of possibilities

George R.R. Martin.

heres what you need to do.




get some grade B dark and natural maple syrup, and drink a little of it.


take some vitamin c


don't kill yourself.


peace.

reply to post by Auricom


I can relate to this somewhat and my thoughts are this is something you have to go through. SO do not blame yourself for not being your usual self. I.e unable to cope as you have been. While you were coping I believe what you were really doing was ignoring facing your pains. Eventually when we do this they will build up to a point were we can no longer contain them they have to get out. This is all part of the process. So rather than trying to run away into third person go head first into this and allow the emotions to be felt. You can still keep in the back of your mind that this is a transitional period that will also have an end to it as do all things we go though. When you get through this the one thing I can promise it that you will have a whole new lease of life and you will be tons lighter as a person.

Just remember a few things. You are allowed to feel pain, be sad, be weak, be lost and confused. You are allowed to accept that your emotions are too strong for you to control at the moment. Infact this is a good thing in context because it measn despite having gone though (what ever it is that you've been through) you are still alive and still have feelings. You're human still.

When in the past I went through something similar this mental projection really helped me process the worst of it.
Basically I would hug myself in my mind and say I forgive you for allowing all that hurt to get to you. I forgive you (myself) for allowing people to do *XYZ* to you. Then I would imagine meeting myself at a point in time when i was hurting but safe and in my mind I would go up to me as me today and give myself a huge great big warm hug and cocoon myself as if i was a child. Always saying it is ok I love you.

I did this as often as I could through out the day for years and for every time I did this I would feel a little more at ease. These days I am finally free of the past hurts.

Also try not to make any stories or ask the why questions when you feel the most depressed. Just let it pass through you allow the pain to be there but do not add any particular thoughts to them.

Finally if you can confide in someone you trust about how you feel so that you can talk through what ever it is that hurts you so much. Sometimes that lets the mind rest from trying to solve the issue. Just saying out loud or typing it out for that matter helps the mind sort through the experience.

Sometimes talking to strangers is the easier thing. If you feel that then do not feel ashamed /embarrased to do so.

I am more than willing to lend an eye to your pain if you need someone to hear you without passing judgement.
great big hugs and so much love in abundance to you.

I hope some of that helps a little at least.

Oh and on the focusing issue, you are focusing just not on the things you used to focus, right now you are focused on YOU and you are very much entitled to do so. You are the most important being in your existenc, without you you would not be, so allow yourself the time to be the focus of your attention because you both need it and deserve it right now. Everything else is second.

reply to post by Auricom

Sounds like your empty space has been filled with some of the more negative attributes of life. Mediation is an opportunity to recharge, by emptying our vessel, but we must consciously bring positive things into our realm, because these days too much passivity allows the void to be stained with the superficial and spiritually void status quo. Consider doing some type of volunteer work and make it a personal challenge to not let information bring you down. Easier said than done I realize, but we still have control over our emotions, to some degree me thinks.

Maybe create a to do list everyday, that includes positive efforts for yourself, others or the world in general.
Music can work wonders on the soul too and maybe incorporate some basic yoga in your meditations. You could be shedding skin and the process seems gray until a new you emerges.
Hope this may help, and remember love will find a way....

Peace,
spec

Hello everyone, thank you all so much for the replies. Truth be told I really wasn't expecting any. I'll have to go over and read all the replies in depth here.

I've been suffering from depression for twelve years now. I started taking cipralex aka lexapro a couple of months ago and it IS helping a ton. I was against any form of medication for my problems like anxiety, social anxiety and depression but finally figured out I can't cope anymore. Thanks again for the replies, once I've gotten the time to review them thoroughly I'll reply a little more.

Whenever I feel down, music makes me feel a whole lot better.

Also, just stepping away from the computer helps a lot too.

If you sit on ATS all day reading all this stuff, it gets to you.

Use ATS in moderation, and incorporate other things into your life.

I highly suggest the "Post a Funny Pic, I'm Bored" thread in BTS, always gets me laughing.

I'm not sure of your physical fitness, but exercising is always a good one. It gets the blood flowing and releases feel good chemicals.

Thanks Solar, but I don't visit ATS much anymore. I'll read the headlines and click on the "interesting" ones and then log off. For the most time, my day is spent listening to Groovesalad at SomaFM.com and working with graphic design for my business.

I feel more and more that I need a quick vacation, even if for only a couple of days. Maybe a change of scenery will help reinvigorate and rejuvenate my mental state. Probably wont fix it, but can't hurt to try.