posted on Jun, 25 2012 @ 10:00 PM
I have twin boys now the age of 19. I will be discussing one of my boys in particular as the other has not lived with me for a few years, and this is
My boys were premature and needed 30 days in NICU, for weight gain mostly. I didn't know anything about kids, except what we usually see, and I was
18 years old and a single parent at the time. I went through alot with my boys, and loved them dearly, but to be honest didn't see a problem with
their behavior or speech, until I met a friend of the family.
She was a social worker for children with disabilities, and noticed some things about my boys. At first I was distraught and offended that she would
even suggest that my kids were "disabled". But she had some good points. They didn't talk at the age of 3 and weren't potty trained either. For me
I was taught that kids actually start off on their own time, and there was no need to panic.
Then I realized that I was actually just ignoring the facts, that they were far behind, so I went and got them checked out, and in fact they were in
the day considered "mentally retarded". I was upset, but not as surprised as I thought.
They were in school since they were 4. They received physical therapy, as well as motor skill, and vocal skills that required certain techniques used
by the hard of hearing or the deaf. This was hard on me, but I knew they would get better. We moved around a bit considering that because of their
disability and there were 2 of them, I couldn't find stable work, finding a sitter was very difficult.
Though they were receiving SSI, it wasn't always enough to cover a sitter that would take care of children that needed that kind of attention. I had
to stay home, as they got older things actually got worse. They never really starting talking properly and they had one on one for hours a day, still
nothing. I couldn't understand why there weren't learning anything.
My son began having low self esteem due to getting picked on by other students, and decided to go the wrong route for a while. I took him and told him
the only way that I could that if he learned life skills, he could actually do just fine. I am a cook by nature and heart, and took him and began
showing him that these skills can get him a successful life with someone he loves, because he will know what others (most men) cant do, or just dont.
Disclaimer: NOT ALL MEN!!
He can do almost anything I went to school for construction and taught him everything that I know, every chance that I got. This of course did not
help him in school, but made him stop the madness and direction that I saw him going. I was very proud.
In high school I saw that things got worse, he was getting honor roll, and couldn't read, when I would attend IEP meeting they said his "behavior"
was very well, and that why he was on it, to teach other kids a lesson, this upset me more then you can imagine. Actually I was offended.
I pulled him from public school and started to home-school. I am NOT embarrassed to say that I had to start with hooked on phonics kindergarten to 2nd
grade. He was weary to say the least, but I told him that if he got to the second grade level we could stop. I was lying of course but he
After the second year, he was to be reevaluated for adult SSI. When the day came he passed and was no longer seen as disabled and taken off. At first
I was upset, as I thought that he wouldn't be able to function without this safety net, he was on it for so long.
After trying to fight the decision, I asked him what he wanted to do, and he had high expectations which I expected I never treated him as disabled,
and told him that the attitude that the school was giving him that he was "special" is not going to work in the real world, your boss, landlord, or
anyone for that matter will care.
I signed him up for Job Corps, which I attended as a kid, he has been there for over a month, and has flourished more then I EVER thought, he is even
taking 2 trades, electrician and culinary arts. He wants to make cakes, and use his electrician skills to make them mobile or move. Hes even
motivating other students, and is running a dance class.
There is an awful stigma against parents home schooling or getting or giving your child the help that they need. This MUST End!! We cannot be
giving our kids drugs, and allowing the school system to let our kids fly by on anything other then their true merits. If we continue we will in fact
fail our kids and our future generation of grandchildren.
I wrote this for those parents that have children with disabilities, and show them that we can make a difference and the only one that should be
giving our children the strength they need is US!! If we continue to complain about the system and not do something then we will get what we are
Forget people saying "homeschooling will just make your kid awkward", "they need more friends". This is FALSE. Most of those same parents
dont know what their kids are doing half the time anyway. My kid knows that his family is there, that his decisions are backed, and that he can do
anything if he tries. Believe me the school didn't teach him that.
BTW, it was ultimately his decision on whether to fight against his reinstatement of his benefits, which he choose to try out school. I made him fully
aware that if it didn't work then we would try it, but it was up to him. Take what you will from my thread, it matters to me to reach the audience
that truly understands especially with high numbers of kids that are being "labeled" everyday, and we have zombies running around for the next
So keep your head up, and maybe you may not be going through this personally yet you know someone who is. You can say that you know that there is hope
and always will be. Lets love our kids.