Dark night of the soul

Has anyone here experienced this? For a while, I was feeling so close to the kingdom. I was seeing small miracles and witnessing amazing revelations within myself. Felt a sense of compassion for people around me, felt like my purpose was unveiling itself before me.

But lately, I've been in a terribly dark and lonely mood. Not depression, but an overwhelming feeling of desiring change in my life. An increased desire for my true self to emmerge and embrace me in its light and abundant provisions. My spiritual development has taken me far into mystic lands. But I'm still here, working 9 to 5 jobs that I absolutely dislike. I'm giving 80% of my energy to people and tasks that drain me of my life vitality. Plus I'm an extreme introvert, I do not like to motor-mouth my way through life. Im not much of a talker, and I feel awkward in social environment surrounded by people who like to hear themselves talk. I don't take myself very seriously and my pride is pretty much hammered out of me. I just want to get off of this hamster wheel, yet it seems that everywhere I turn, the forces that be, are making it nearly impossible to escape. Any one else in this dark night of the soul?

reply to post by Visitor2012

maybe it is like "the grass is always greener on the other side" ?

Yes I've experienced it. It can happen after mystical experiences. It's a kind of fatigue. Here is something you might want to read.

www.sacred-texts.com...

Yes, I've been there. And I will be there again.

Life is cyclical. Mountain tops descend into valleys. Valleys rise to majestic peaks.

Growth is painful, and if your spiritual journey doesn't cause you pain, you are not growing.

How to break through? It's different for everyone. For me, meditation and solitude help. But it can take months to pull through.

Keep meditating. Keep practicing acts of kindness and compassion, even when you don't feel like it. Keep your goal foremost in your mind and ignore the myriad of distractions that surround you.

Good luck to you. Sending positive thoughts your way.
smylee

To understand if you are going through the Dark Night .. read St. John of the Cross. St. Teresa of Avila can be helpful as well. Lots of people confuse being tired, bored, or depresessed with the actual spiritual Dark Night of the Soul. again ... Read St. John of the Cross.

Originally posted by BlueMule
It can happen after mystical experiences. It's a kind of fatigue.

The Dark Night of the Soul comes BEFORE the deep mystical experiences.

And after. The dark night stages come inbetween, like birth pangs, until a permanent unitive state is reached.

Thanks for posting this, I am definitely going through the same thing right now. I find it extremely frustrating! My attention is so scattered.

I'm going to ride it out the best I can, nothing lasts forever, this feeling is impermanent. Need to keep meditating, keep relaxed, stay focused. Im thinking of doing a cleanse as well.

Good luck to you! Much Peace...

reply to post by BlueMule


Thanks for the link!

reply to post by wrdwzrd


No problemo friend...I'll share a blessing with you in the hope that it will help you to get through. To have, give all to all.

Originally posted by Visitor2012
Has anyone here experienced this? For a while, I was feeling so close to the kingdom. I was seeing small miracles and witnessing amazing revelations within myself. Felt a sense of compassion for people around me, felt like my purpose was unveiling itself before me.

But lately, I've been in a terribly dark and lonely mood. Not depression, but an overwhelming feeling of desiring change in my life. An increased desire for my true self to emmerge and embrace me in its light and abundant provisions. My spiritual development has taken me far into mystic lands. But I'm still here, working 9 to 5 jobs that I absolutely dislike. I'm giving 80% of my energy to people and tasks that drain me of my life vitality. Plus I'm an extreme introvert, I do not like to motor-mouth my way through life. Im not much of a talker, and I feel awkward in social environment surrounded by people who like to hear themselves talk. I don't take myself very seriously and my pride is pretty much hammered out of me. I just want to get off of this hamster wheel, yet it seems that everywhere I turn, the forces that be, are making it nearly impossible to escape. Any one else in this dark night of the soul?

edit on 25-6-2012 by Visitor2012 because: (no reason given)

You're actually in a really good place...you will probably spit at me for saying that... but from my repeated experience of this event, it's a forerunner of something delightful. It's almost as if the Universe has to drop you to your lowest point to force you to release all the connections you don't need, before it starts to lift you up again. the 9-5 thing can feel like a trap, but it really does depend on the job you have, or how perhaps you can simplify your life to make a smaller salary or part time job give you everything you need....sometimes that works a treat if what you really need is time and freedom. Sadly jobs are still useful of paying bills and rent and other stuff, since we're not yet in the paradigm that will allow us just to manifest what we need. Can't wait for that day!

Maybe you might look for a job that makes you feel a bit more intune with something useful, or even just something that doesn't soak up you're whole life and energy. Try asking for a few clues and be quite demanding with the Universe....it will take it's own sweet time delivering what we ask for unless we get a little fiesty sometimes. Set a time limit and be very definite about what you want. Honestly,it works. Keep your chin up and look for something wonderful.


Cait x

reply to post by Visitor2012


A typical 'Dark Night of the Soul' experience is normally associated with complete incapacitation. The body becomes so enmeshed with the spiritual emergency that just being able to function is extremely difficult. I don't think you're going through anything like that - you'd really know about it, and wouldn't be here writing stuff on ATS but stuck in bed with a pillow over your head. It's the worst feeling you could probably ever have. This is the death before re-birth.

I don't know you obviosuly, but I would take a guess that you are probably feeling dissilusioned by the world in general. It's easy to feel this way once you have 'woken' up, because no one else understands you and what you believe in. My family think I'm a complete wack-job and most of my friends don't 'get me' either. This can be difficult to deal with if you worry about fitting in or what other people think.

All I can suggest is to continue your spirtual practice and maintain a solid sense of self, because the world will soon change and reveal to everyone that we've been living a big fat lie. You might want to read one of my old threads to get a feeling for what I'm saying.

www.abovetopsecret.com...

Peace Out - Good Luck

Ned

reply to post by nimbinned


Each according to his measure.

You will likely find 1000 different definitions of "Dark night of the soul" from a 1000 different people. So be aware that you may not find a consensus.

In my studies, "Dark night of the soul" refers to the period of time (generally many many years) under which your spirituality is severely tried and tested by God. This can take many forms but most who have been through it speak to the ABSENCE of God or anything divine being a consistency through the period.

One account of "Dark night of the soul" that I found very sobering and inspiring was that of Mother Teresa and her crisis of faith. I would highly recommend her biography...or you can check out the article Time magazine wrote about her:

Crisis of Faith

You might be Tore Down A La Rimbaud.




Van "The Man" Dark night of the soul referenced around 2:45. Great song, great artist, really knows true emotion and speaks about it in his music. When I saw this post I immediately thought of the song, funny how lyrics stick to you like that. I have loved Van's music since I was a kid and it has really helped to shape me into the man I am today. This song is from the album 'A Sense of Wonder'.

I softened my post a bit because I didn't want to bring everyone down. But I had almost a year of feeling absolutely close to God or the I AM. I was manifesting things in my life, and seeing miracles. I was also an astral traveler having OBE's and bilocaton experiences. That was when I became aware of the magnitude of Maya both in my mind and in the external world. I'm also highly receptive to psychic energy, despite how I look in life, I'm a very sensitive person on the inside.

But it seems like heaven has closed its gates and I'm all by myself without supernatural guidance, help or reprieve. It's amazing how you can go from being so close to the source, and then completely doubting if it ever existed.

I've been going through tremendous amounts of suffering and I just don't know if I'm ever going to get out of this. Ive suffered most of my whole life. I can't even hide it from public or from work. Any attempt at faking how I feel drains me immensely, plus I'm tired all the time.

Hello Vistor2012

Just want you to know you are not alone. I wish I could be of some help but all I can do is offer my own experience. And mind you I was never as far along as you. This is a little long but there are pieces that need to be added.

I have had a miserable life as well. In 92 I started reading alternative material and was pronounced by my ex to be bringing satan into our home. It got so bad that I begged God to take me home and cried myself to sleep. The next morning I started my journey in earnest. I learned to meditate and kept a dream journal. After some years of dedication I began to have precognitive dreams and sometimes just 'knew' things. Other experiences as well.

I had a couple of dreams that in retrospect were telling me what would happen. Seems these things cannot be changed regardless of how we try.

Dream 1, I was on the next to last step of a staircase and it was a huge step. Then I am on the top looking over the railing at people playing card games below. Then I fall to the bottom and realize the first step is just as large as the last one. (BTW, I spend mindless hours playing games to keep me from having to decide to do something).

Dream 2, I dream I am giving birth but I don't look pregnant and the baby will be premature and/or die. 9 months to the day I joined a group in France (reservation made by someone else) and I was premature and died.

There was another dreamed where my eyes were opened wide then returned to normal.

A year later I met a man and decided to give it a go. Couple days later I got out of my car and fell. I immediately knew I had/would fall in love and/or fall off my path. I did both.

So it seems once you start up that staircase there will be falls. This one has lasted 8-9 years. (Course that doesn't mean yours will). There is depression that has spiraled downward. Dread everything, do nothing, past ready for it to end yet can do nothing to help myself along. No longer meditate. Requests for assistance no longer answered. Just lost all connection to spirit.

But there is hope for me. March 7 I dreamed I was giving birth to myself and the birth was imminent. The head was very large and trying to come out. We shall see. Maybe literal death and rebirth as spirit. It is okay with me.

There is a feeling of total loss and time is being wasted. Maybe it is needed time to appreciate where we have been and not make the mistakes we made again. Certainly there is deep introspection and self examination.


Best wishes to you Vistor2012

reply to post by Visitor2012


I'm in what sounds like the exact same position as you my friend.

Just waiting for my big break so i can go explore the world and find my self!!!

It will come in time

reply to post by Visitor2012


Hi!
If your unhappy and don't like the job you do or the people around you, then change them!! What's stopping you? Unless someone has a gun to your head what on earth can be stopping you from seeking the change it sounds like you need?

When things go what seems like bad in our lives, it's the universe telling us that it's time for change in our lives. That even though you may not know what your next step is or where your going, there is another purpose or journey you now need to take.

Trust the truth in your heart and have fun with it. Lifes not meant to be too hard or too easy for that matter, but how you read the signs along the way will guide you to the place you need to be in every moment.

Ie read every reply and I'm very thankful to be able to share my experiences with so many people who are willing to share thiers

reply to post by Visitor2012


It has been quite some time since you wrote this post, but I have only now come across it.

Have you passed through this period of darkness, and if so, was there anything specific which heralded a breakthrough for you?