Why is choosing to be single such an enigma to others? Why do people ostracize them?

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posted on Jun, 19 2012 @ 02:48 PM
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That Dalai Lama had something to say on the subject recently:


In an interview with the Sun during his UK tour, the Buddhist spiritual leader said that the best way to ensure a stable life was to avoid sexual relationships.

His comments came after he was introduced to an audience by Russell Brand, a comedian whose sexual antics were in stark contrast to the Dalai Lama's message.

The Dalai Lama said that those who live a life of intimacy suffer a life with "a lot of ups and downs".


www.ibtimes.co.uk...

Okay, sex is a bit, er, one-handed. But in most respects he's right (IMO).

Mind, I'm a misanthropist. Hell is other people, heaven is solitude.




posted on Jun, 19 2012 @ 03:04 PM
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Originally posted by AndyMayhew
That Dalai Lama had something to say on the subject recently:


In an interview with the Sun during his UK tour, the Buddhist spiritual leader said that the best way to ensure a stable life was to avoid sexual relationships.

His comments came after he was introduced to an audience by Russell Brand, a comedian whose sexual antics were in stark contrast to the Dalai Lama's message.

The Dalai Lama said that those who live a life of intimacy suffer a life with "a lot of ups and downs".


www.ibtimes.co.uk...

Okay, sex is a bit, er, one-handed. But in most respects he's right (IMO).

Mind, I'm a misanthropist. Hell is other people, heaven is solitude.


The Dalai Lama definately has a sense of humor.

This last weekend I had a friend of mine wife ask me if I am ever lonely.

My reply was. "Occasionally, but it passes fairly quick."



posted on Jun, 19 2012 @ 03:17 PM
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I think people have a predetermined idea of what life should be also...

The 'norm' goes pretty much like this: Born > School > Work > Relationship/Marriage > Kids = Happy

Anything that steps away from that norm is considered unusual to them. What they don't realize is that not everyone is the same! Some of us do not need constant companionship or someone to be there for us all the time.

As a single person, i find it harder to plan things with my couple friends. Single people are usually more willing to do things 'Out of the Blue', while planning something with couples you have to remember that they mostly act as a unit and that this will cause problems eventually. A decision from one person in the couple will always affect the other, either making one of them do something they didn't want to or vice versa...



posted on Jun, 19 2012 @ 03:43 PM
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Originally posted by Jeedawg
I think people have a predetermined idea of what life should be also...

The 'norm' goes pretty much like this: Born > School > Work > Relationship/Marriage > Kids = Happy

Anything that steps away from that norm is considered unusual to them. What they don't realize is that not everyone is the same! Some of us do not need constant companionship or someone to be there for us all the time.

As a single person, i find it harder to plan things with my couple friends. Single people are usually more willing to do things 'Out of the Blue', while planning something with couples you have to remember that they mostly act as a unit and that this will cause problems eventually. A decision from one person in the couple will always affect the other, either making one of them do something they didn't want to or vice versa...



As the single person who has couple friends, I try to guide them into nothing more than a fun time.

A Kayak/Canoeing trip

A hike through the mountains

etc, etc.


It ain't all about me....it's about the friendship and the experience as far as I am concerned. The guy in the commercial which I referenced in my original OP seemed kinda sad. That's not me. But I still see it all the time. And that to me is....sad.
edit on 19-6-2012 by TDawgRex because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 19 2012 @ 03:48 PM
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I blame women for this, primarily. I've never seen a woman in a relationship who, practically from the moment she realised that she was in a relationship, immediately wanted to nail her husband's or boyfriend's hands and feet to her bedroom wall. I went for months where my mother and younger brother were literally the only human contact I had besides my ex-girlfriend, and a friend of my brother's is in a milder form of the same situation at times, with his ex.

Because of this, I can remember thinking about a cousin of mine, who I love dearly, that I will probably never see him again, now that he is married; or virtually never.

Most women I've seen are posessive to the point where I consider it deeply pathological. If you're a single guy, the reason why you're not going to see your married or de facto male friends any more, is because his partner isn't going to want him to see anyone else any more; and that includes you.

A relationship is a jail sentence; and that's a big part of the reason why I never want to get into another one again. I don't care how lonely I have to be; freedom is something I value more.

I'm also not talking about the freedom to be promiscuous, before you accuse me of that. I'm celibate. I'm most likely never going to have sex again in my life. I don't want to get into trouble with the legal system, because of some psychotic woman falsely accusing me of rape.

I mentioned that to my ex, the first time we had sex. I had a lot of erectile problems with her for probably six months, initially; and the single main reason why, was because I was terrified of the degree of legal power over me that I knew I'd given her. I've been told that even if he is proven innocent, a rape allegation destroys a man's reputation for life.



posted on Jun, 19 2012 @ 03:56 PM
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Originally posted by AndyMayhew
That Dalai Lama had something to say on the subject recently:


In an interview with the Sun during his UK tour, the Buddhist spiritual leader said that the best way to ensure a stable life was to avoid sexual relationships.

His comments came after he was introduced to an audience by Russell Brand, a comedian whose sexual antics were in stark contrast to the Dalai Lama's message.

The Dalai Lama said that those who live a life of intimacy suffer a life with "a lot of ups and downs".


www.ibtimes.co.uk...

Okay, sex is a bit, er, one-handed. But in most respects he's right (IMO).

Mind, I'm a misanthropist. Hell is other people, heaven is solitude.


You beat me to it, i was gonna post this, a customer left the paper in work yesterday and i read it, it made my day. The Dalai Lama talks to the Sun about the positives of celebacy and the single life, oh i did chuckle, its not something you see every day. Im single, i love being single, marriage and relationships do not suit me, i love doing my own thing, HOWEVER, I couldnt imagine being without my daughters, who i would not have had i not got into those relationships.
No raised toilet seats in the house of the drswife and it shall remain that way.



posted on Jun, 19 2012 @ 04:05 PM
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reply to post by petrus4
 


Rape allegation can be a cruel thing. Just the thought of it can be inhibiting. I refuse to bed a woman who is drunk or otherwise imbibed.

Back in High School I thought a girl was into me...turns out she wasn't. Lesson learned. I didn't rape her, but there was no holds barred that she just wasn't that into me. I was a fling...nothing more. My first lesson so to speak. My first broken heart.

Nowadays,, I refuse to go to bed with a woman until I've known her for awhile. But even then.

edit on 19-6-2012 by TDawgRex because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 20 2012 @ 01:10 AM
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reply to post by TDawgRex
 


Well that and the fact the majority of serial killers, kidnappers, child molesters,rapists and stalkers are single white males in their mid 20's to early 30's.
edit on 20-6-2012 by DoctorMobius because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 20 2012 @ 01:52 AM
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reply to post by TDawgRex
 


I remember back when I and the majority of people I knew were single, life was a barrel of laughs and just plain old good times all round. Then a mate here and there would hook up with a girl and each time this happened, you would simply see less and less of these guys. It's like they would suddenly transform from "awesome dude" to "quiet reclusive dude"!

This would generally be the case if they met a girl the crew didn't know......as if they had been warned not to hang out with the guys anymore, or they'd get no lovin' from said girl when they got home! I still see it these days with some mates, but in reality even I've sort of gone down that road too mainly because I have kids now.

So I think it becomes a kind of "conflict of interest" type scenario.........and the girl wins hands down every time!



posted on Jun, 20 2012 @ 06:46 AM
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reply to post by TDawgRex
 





I’m curious as to this phenomena. Many have been through it before. Those who have broke up or divorced from their significant other. They get excluded from certain events. Why is that?


Well, there is hardly a point in bringing a single friend along on a couples activity. As well, and I can speak for this personally, it's kind of hard to be out and enjoying time with your significant other while your recently single friend glares at you trying to kill you with laser bolts from his eyes every time you display any affection in public.

That said.

i have much more fun out with my single friends, or those who aren't single, but without their partner, guys night if you will. As much as most people hate to admit it, at least with men, we are different people when the wivesor girlfriends aren't there



posted on Jun, 20 2012 @ 06:54 AM
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Ever since my husband died I've chosen to remain single.... Reason being? I really have not found anyone that i care to be with, and it's mainly personal preference. I'm a weirdo, and whomever I'm with has to be a weirdo as well, and so far, everyone's too darn normal.....



posted on Jun, 20 2012 @ 07:12 AM
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Originally posted by SavedOne
Take it from a man who has been married for over 20 years and has 3 kids, there is nothing, and I mean NOTHING, wrong with remaining single. People who tell you that marriage is great and you can't live without it are either lying or haven't been married long. It's grueling, painful, challenging and in the end will probably fail.


LOL, please hold back on your optimism there


Makes me excited to be able to get married one day!

I like to think I' won't remain single & alone for the rest of my life, but at the moment, I'd say single life isn't as bad as people make out to be.

Maybe I should look to a polygamist lifestyle instead..



posted on Jun, 20 2012 @ 07:26 AM
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I hate it when I'm out with friends and I meet new people who think I'm married. When I tell them I'm single they're shocked and say 'but you're so cute! What's wrong with you?' I roll my eyes every time. Did they ever consider to think that I chose to be this way?

I find I'm much better off being single than in a relationship. It could be because I'm very independent and the guys I date can't figure out why I don't call them and want to hang out all the time. They're probably used to being smothered by previous women. My last boyfriend kept showing up at restaurants, friends houses, my place unannounced and it drove me nuts. Was it a trust issue? Who knows?

I also find it funny that all my married friends hang out at my place and stay much longer than they're supposed to. Is it because they don't want to go home??



posted on Jun, 20 2012 @ 07:40 AM
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Honestly, I ask to be left out of couples parties. They're too boring, anyway. Conversations with most women center around their marriages or kids (which I don't have) and don't have much to contribute to an intellectual conversation.(They're intelligent, they just don't want to go there at these parties. Weird.) If I try to join the male group they get alittle nervous that there's a single woman in their midst. Unbelievable. So, I try and stay away from these get-togethers.



posted on Jun, 20 2012 @ 07:46 AM
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I choose to be single, because a long time ago, when I was 20, I had testicular cancer. Back then, the treatment was rather brutal, and with no cosmetic repairs. It left me impotent, and my girlfriend at the time dumped me, because sexual relations were no longer possible. It broke my heart, and rather than put myself through the grinder like that again, I chose to remain single ever since.

I too have noticed the ostracization. I've even had a neighbour try and set me up with his gay son, believing I didn't have a girlfriend therefore I must be gay. He is lucky I have a substantial amount of self control, otherwise he'd have been picking his teeth up off the floor.

I really really hate the way people assume you are abnormal if you are not in some form of relationship. Do I get lonely? Yes. Does it bother me? Sometimes. However, lets face it, being single has some pretty good advantages. I don't need to buy birthday presents, aniversary gifts, I don't need to remember any special dates. My money remains in my pocket, and I can do whatever the hell I want, when I want to. As long as it's legal ofc.



posted on Jun, 20 2012 @ 08:00 AM
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Originally posted by DoctorMobius
reply to post by TDawgRex
 


Well that and the fact the majority of serial killers, kidnappers, child molesters,rapists and stalkers are single white males in their mid 20's to early 30's.
edit on 20-6-2012 by DoctorMobius because: (no reason given)



John Wayne Gacy was married, BTK killer was married, Gerald Gallego was married, the Green River serial killer was married...Need I go on?

Jeffrey Dahmer was gay, Ted Bundy was dumped by the woman he wanted to marry so he went on a serial killing spree out of rage.

The point is being single has nothing to do with serial killing. It mostly has to do with their childhood or that many of them suffered some sort of head trauma that altered the frontal lobe that controls emotion.



posted on Jun, 20 2012 @ 11:27 AM
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Originally posted by DoctorMobius
reply to post by TDawgRex
 


Well that and the fact the majority of serial killers, kidnappers, child molesters,rapists and stalkers are single white males in their mid 20's to early 30's.
edit on 20-6-2012 by DoctorMobius because: (no reason given)


Well, I managed to make it past those decades alive and sane.

Am I still safe for society?
edit on 20-6-2012 by TDawgRex because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 20 2012 @ 12:09 PM
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reply to post by texasgirl
 


Yes please go on, I bet you'll run out of material really soon. Much much faster than I. A few famous cases does not a truth make. The stats are single white males hands down, This isnt my opinion against yours, it's your opinion against reality.
edit on 20-6-2012 by DoctorMobius because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 20 2012 @ 12:20 PM
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reply to post by TDawgRex
 


No way Albert Fish

edit on 20-6-2012 by DoctorMobius because: (no reason given)



posted on Jun, 20 2012 @ 12:34 PM
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Originally posted by DoctorMobius
reply to post by texasgirl
 


Yes please go on, I bet you'll run out of material really soon. Much much faster than I. A few famous cases does not a truth make. The stats are single white males hands down, This isnt my opinion against yours, it's your opinion against reality.
edit on 20-6-2012 by DoctorMobius because: (no reason given)


Dean Corrl was gay, The Boston Strangler committed his acts out of rage against his mother and family beatings (he also had an insatiable sexual appetite), The Sniper at the tower in Texas (I forget his name-Charles?) was married and had a brain tumor, The Red Spider was married, I could go on...

Rober Ressler, an FBI profiler on serial killings, has said most killers have suffered a trauma of sorts, whether it's physical or emotional.

Yes, there are some serial killers who are single but there are many that aren't. Heck, there are serial killer couples out there! A woman spent 7 years locked in a box under a sadistic couple's bed. 7 years!





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