posted on Jun, 19 2012 @ 12:59 PM
reply to post by EvilSadamClone
Yeah, rhymes are great in songs. Usually because the lyrics are very weak and rhyming spruces it up. The reason why rhyming works in songs, but not in
poetry (at least not in the last 50-60 years) is because of dramatic, emotional music that substitutes for the power of language.
I actually liked where your poem started. To me, it feels like looking at a first draft though. There is more to be said, I think. And like the other
poster said, rhymes are too distracting. We end up ignoring most of the poem just to pay attention to the end-of-the-line rhyme scheme.
Poetry is music without the music, thus the poetic language must carry all the weight because music is not there to help it. Poetry and
music-accompanied lyrics are apples and oranges.
Oh, I agree that musical lyrics can be very moving. But have you ever read them off a piece of paper without the music? Pretty unimpressive stuff most
of the time.
Remember, I was going for constructive criticism. I have had this conversation scores of times in poetry groups in college. It always ends the same
edit on 19-6-2012 by NarcolepticBuddha because: (no reason given)