Think I gave myself brain/mind damage...

HAHAHAHA EMPTY POST WHERE IS MY MIND
my bad at the Empty post guys,hit the 'Enter' Button...
anyways here is why I believe the I may have "broken something"
I no longer feel the need to do anything..
not out of laziness or anything,but I have no desire to feel emotions any longer.
it seems that everything and anything there is to do is based off of positive and negative emotions.I don't feel the need to chase a certain status or comfortable life because frankly I don't get "pleasure" or "agony" from positive or negative emotions...
I am quite alright with this..just wondering if this is normal ._.

Originally posted by ArtOfTrance
HAHAHAHA EMPTY POST WHERE IS MY MIND
my bad at the Empty post guys,hit the 'Enter' Button...
anyways here is why I believe the I may have "broken something"
I no longer feel the need to do anything..
not out of laziness or anything,but I have no desire to feel emotions any longer.
it seems that everything and anything there is to do is based off of positive and negative emotions.I don't feel the need to chase a certain status or comfortable life because frankly I don't get "pleasure" or "agony" from positive or negative emotions...
I am quite alright with this..just wondering if this is normal ._.

edit on 12/29/11 by ArtOfTrance because: accidently hit 'Enter' key and it posted my topic -______-

Personally I don't see anything bad about feeling good *as opposed* to feeling bad. But I know what you're saying, there's a certain *attraction* to *neutrality*. If that makes any sense...

reply to post by ArtOfTrance


I think alot of us are simply "not caring" anymore

reply to post by ArtOfTrance

I don't feel the need to chase a certain status

Good, I never had that desire.

Well see this is the conclusion my mind has come to,which is one of the contributing ideas to my "faulty mind"
Postivity persecutes all that isn't positive...sounded pretty negative to me,but it is the Truth,Light purifies Darkness,"purify" give the impression it is for "good".when really it is just invading and conquering.
And I also realized..we only ever feel bad,when we arent feeling good...sounds dumb,but the simplicity makes it clearer...we instantly feel negative the second we lose any little bit of positivity.
Ignorance is bliss
Intelligience is misery
The Path of Neutrality is wrong by those who choose Positivity and mocked by those who choose Negativity.

But anyway where Im at now,I find myself isolating myself by turning down things to do,experiences...because I have felt all those emotions before..I can feel the emotions instantly that come with going on an epic hike,having a nice dinner with a loved one,going out drinking with friends,etc.Emotions and Feelings just arent enough anymore it seems

A lot of people don't know how to feel anymore because too many of us have been conditioned to care about too many things, and most, we really don't care about.

reply to post by ArtOfTrance


well i hope you have a hobby that you enjoy spending time alone doing,,,,, or a decent job with pay.....

it certainly isnt easy or good feeling to let yourself die.......

you have been billions of years in the making,,,, waiting for the chance and perfect time to become your self on this planet,,,, youve got years and years of life and potential,,, your mind can give up,,,, but it wont be easy on your body,,, or mind.....

so id say suck it up,,,,, smile,,,,,, and laugh,,,,,, and then enjoy your days and nights.

reply to post by ImaFungi


That is the common misconception..that I am suffering or in pain due to my mental state.
I am fully aware of the "laws of reality",I am not suicidal or depressed.I intend to keep "playing the game" by realities rules despite not wanting to play.
My favorite thing to do is nothing as of lately,that is I find myself to be not bored,nor entertained...just content..that's probably why I suddenly taken a disdain towards doing anything hahaha
Also I wouldnt say that this feeling is "letting myself die" if anything it feels more like there is no more progress to be made on Earth (in its current state)....to put it metaphorically...class is still in session but I managed to read ahead and learn the lesson early.

anyways,I do not truly believe that my mind is faulty or broken,but lately when I try to speak my true thoughts to anyone,they misinterpret,think im crazy,or think im insane...so just wondering if things are cool if i am just becoming somewhat of a stable psycho ._.

anyways thanks for the responses ATS
I got nowhere,which was exactly where I was tryin to go!Thanks

reply to post by ArtOfTrance


hm,, ok well thats good to hear i guess.....

its hard to be content doing nothing for a long period of time,,,,, if this is a relatively recent venture of feeling,,,,,,
the past 2 years,, the past year,, the past few months,,,,,, give it some more time and im sure you will become bored and or/ fully insane..... find something you enjoy doing with your time,,, something creative,,,
get a job if you dont have one....

reply to post by ArtOfTrance


My neutrality (if that is what you call it) has been likened to "sitting on the fence". People who have a mission in life seem to think we need one too. Hey, what if I just want to go with the flow and be spontaneous? I feel I am an observer and a listener. Am I a life-long learner?

reply to post by ArtOfTrance


Don't you mean bain dramage OP ? That's what I have from being in Calif. since I was two yrs old. Lot's of bain dramage.

Coming to ATS on a regular basis tends to cause brain damage.
But what you describe sounds like a defense mechanism of the mind. I get it all the time. My brain shuts down, and I no longer feel. Unfortunately it has been a long time since this has happened, but I wouldn't be surprised if it happens soon.

Originally posted by ArtOfTrance
reply to post by ImaFungi

 

That is the common misconception..that I am suffering or in pain due to my mental state.
I am fully aware of the "laws of reality",I am not suicidal or depressed.I intend to keep "playing the game" by realities rules despite not wanting to play.
My favorite thing to do is nothing as of lately,that is I find myself to be not bored,nor entertained...just content..that's probably why I suddenly taken a disdain towards doing anything hahaha
Also I wouldnt say that this feeling is "letting myself die" if anything it feels more like there is no more progress to be made on Earth (in its current state)....to put it metaphorically...class is still in session but I managed to read ahead and learn the lesson early.

anyways,I do not truly believe that my mind is faulty or broken,but lately when I try to speak my true thoughts to anyone,they misinterpret,think im crazy,or think im insane...so just wondering if things are cool if i am just becoming somewhat of a stable psycho ._.

anyways thanks for the responses ATS
I got nowhere,which was exactly where I was tryin to go!Thanks

Been thinking highly of yourself lately?

What lesson is there? That we're going to die? Everything fades away in time? We'll always fight because of limited information and finite resources? What? What lesson?

There's a world. I know there's one. Do you?

People. Places.

There's supposed to be a universe too. A very big one.

How could you learn anything even in a single lifetime? There're seven billion people. A few million years of human-like thoughts. If you add up all the years of every person's life since the beginning it yields a staggering number of years of thoughts that's far outside any person's comprehension. What makes you think you're special and got hidden knowledge? Everybody wants to think they mean something. You're not the first one. We all go through these stages of questioning things.

Some music just told me everything is beautiful. So many passing moments... Take it all in. All is love. Something like that.Her voice is beautiful and reassuring and gentle, but I'm not sure I agree. I know that people have love in them and on any random night walking through the city there're going to be a lot of people high on love or something similar. But if I can't feel it then I can't share it. And with all of the other things that blight this world, like violence and misfortune and disease and so on, it's hard to feel the love I know is around me because I also know there're other things. I'd love to just hear her voice and nothing else and believe her because it's like a drug, but reality won't let me.

reply to post by ArtOfTrance


It's called contentment.

Brain/mind damage is to change what you truely are.

reply to post by ArtOfTrance


Honestly, you sound like you have depression. I too feel like an emotionless robot sometimes. What's the point in doing things? Really? Sounds absurd, no?

But really what is the point? Wake up , shower, brush teeth, eat something, go to work, eat lunch, more work, *sigh* work is so unfulfilling; go home, walk dog, go to shops and buy food, make dinner, go on the internet / watchTV, sleep, *REPEAT x 5 days*

Saturday, Sunday = Wake up, shower, brush teeth, eat something, mow lawn every weekend or every second weekend, walk dog, have lunch, go to cinema/shops/pay bills, exercise?/walk dog again, have dinner, tv/internet (during days especially at night), go to sleep *REPEAT x 2*

What's the point in all this? To "live"? To eventually buy a place of my own instead of renting?

What is the point? To save for retirement?

reply to post by ArtOfTrance


Sounds like you could be going through a transition of some sort. Don't know if you've heard of the 7 year cycle thing, but it seems to apply to me. Every 7 years something dramatic would happen in my life and I had to learn new lessons. What is happening to you now may not seem dramatic, but it is a challenge to your state of being.

There is one thing for sure, and I'd bet my house on it, and that is you won't stay this way. Change is inevitable.

Peace Out - Sending you Loving Vibes

Ned

Originally posted by ArtOfTrance
HAHAHAHA EMPTY POST WHERE IS MY MIND
my bad at the Empty post guys,hit the 'Enter' Button...
anyways here is why I believe the I may have "broken something"
I no longer feel the need to do anything..
not out of laziness or anything,but I have no desire to feel emotions any longer.
it seems that everything and anything there is to do is based off of positive and negative emotions.I don't feel the need to chase a certain status or comfortable life because frankly I don't get "pleasure" or "agony" from positive or negative emotions...
I am quite alright with this..just wondering if this is normal ._.

edit on 12/29/11 by ArtOfTrance because: accidently hit 'Enter' key and it posted my topic -______-

Are you speaking methaphoricly/in the way of wanting or really not emotions physicly.

Some kind of amagydala effect? Have you had an extreme fear reaction before this?

reply to post by jonnywhite


actually I wouldn't say I think too highly of myself,nor do I believe I am worthless.
Yeah I do know there's a world,but so what?I have seen places,met people,done things,and had my fair share of mindblowing experiences.

I am not claiming to have learned everything,I am just saying that I do not feel the need to chase the feelings any longer..everytime we are happy,joyous,behold a beautiful sunset horizon,or a kiss from a beautiful girl,these feelings of happiness,excitement,are not different from any other ones you have felt in your lifetime,its all the same.Maybe I am just devalueing the actual value in the Experiences.Any experience there is to experience,no matter how mindblowing,will spark the same feelings you have felt before,least to me...
If I could describe how it feels from my point-of-view,my soul still wishes to participate in this Lifegame,but my mind wishes not to be affected any longer from what this world has left to offer,at least in it's current status.

I have heard many beautiful songs too...the ones I thought had most beauty have no lyrics...I do not care for lyrics too much,I feel they distract from the real music..if I want to hear poetry I'll read it out loud lol.


And by this "brain-damage" I don't mean I gave myself down-syndrome or anything..more like my "emotion receptors" or whatever mechanism in our brain controls the "reward/treat" system rewarding good/bad behaviour essentially,is maybe damaged because I am not "accepting the reward/treat" my brain is giving me,or tempting me with.