Stay at home women degrade the status of women in our society.

reply to post by ColCurious



Lazy???
How do you figure?

I think that there is a problem with the perception (and sometimes a reality) of what a stay at home mom/wife does.
Perhaps my mom was a great example for me and so I'm basing what my responsibilities are off of what I witnessed.
My mom did do some housecleaning on the side for extra money, but it was very part time.

The best way I can explain it is: homesteading.

She was responsible for keeping a house clean, getting the groceries made, finding ways to make a life for our family within a budget and in an economy that was going up and down. She grew a garden, canned, sewed and did thrift shopping.
I don't think my mom stopped to think of herself once.
I still look at how I can do better based on what I saw my mom do.

I grow and tend a garden, thrift shop, sew, learning to can, I kick my butt to get the kids out and about so they're not "un-socialized" (that is a part of our decision as a husband and wife to home school).

Honestly, if what you see is laziness, perhaps what you're basing your decision on is based on a model that is different from those of women who spend much of their waking hours taking care of others.
I could be absolutely wrong! And if so, my apologies, I'm just not sure where anyone, male or female would see tending a home in it's entirety and taking care of others would conclude such a life is lazy.

Stay at home moms/wives are in a partnership with their mate.
One works his butt off all day long to make sure that his wife and family is taken care of.
A wife, out of respect and appreciation for what her husband does for the family, in return sees to the needs of the people in the home and the home itself.

It's a matter of mutual respect and appreciation accompanying the love you have for one another which drives each person in the relationship to strive to make their home life the best it can be.

When it stops being that, it's time to review where it went wrong.
And for the record I tend to believe that it's best to sort this out before marriage or moving in together as waiting until the child is born or the vow has been made can make things rather difficult later on.

Originally posted by grandmakdw
While listening to a radio personality reading an article from a feminist who says women who “stay home” are 1%’ers who drag other women down and lower female status, I had to sit down and listen.

I had just finished vacuuming and dusting our 2200 sq foot house; mopping the wood and tile floors; and doing 3 loads of laundry. As I was preparing to clean the bathrooms and kitchen I listened as a woman said I was “kept” and not making a valuable contribution to society since I’m not a professional paid housekeeper.

I have to admit this was my “housecleaning day”, so what about the rest of the week. Well, I cook for my husband and I and take a meal over to my Mom every day. But that’s not work, is it? After all I’m not a professional chef.

Since I’m a grandma I have to admit I don’t have children at home. My senior executive daughter does “real” work, so when her kids get sick, I care for them, that’s not work is it? When the kids need to be driven to things outside of school, I drive them, but that’s not work. It would only be work if my daughter paid me to be a nanny and nurse, but since I stay at home and don’t really work, it’s not real work is it? When my husband or Mom are ill I stay with them and care for them until they recover. But that’s not work, unless I was a certified nursing assistant.

Well, the kids aren’t always sick or need chauffeuring around, so I really am kept aren’t I? I guess the quilts I make for the women in shelters and the homeless and for camps for foster kids, that’s not work. After all no one buys my quilts so that’s not real work, I’m just a kept woman who goes out to lunch with the quilt guild once a week.

Oh, tomorrows task? Mowing and trimming our lawn and my mother’s lawn. Hope the aggressive spraying I’ve done in our and Mom’s garden has rid them of the beetles, but I digress. No that’s not work, that’s being kept since I’m not a paid gardener.

My husband does the real work and keeps me. So when he calls me to run an errand for him that he doesn’t have time to do since he works, that’s being kept. When I buy the groceries and shop for bargains to save us money, that’s being kept, not real work. When I search for replacement parts for broken or lost items, that’s not work. When I buy special bargains to take to a local shelter for the mentally challenged isn’t work, is it? Unless I was a personal shopper, but I’m not, I’m kept.

So I guess she is right, I’m just a kept woman who degrades the role of women in the world. Especially since at one time I was a college professor who now stays home to take care of 3 generations. What a bad example I set for other women.

As soon as I read the title of this thread it upset me. There has been a concerted effort over the recent decades to give a bad name to 'The Home Maker.' All a long term goal to drive a wedge between the family unit by Marxist and communist. Communism was never defeated, it simply moved to a long term hidden war from within.

I am not going to spend all the time most do to cite their sources but, I do recall reading about actual groups organized with the goal of denigrating the stay at home wife for the more maniacal long term goal of getting the wife from the home and children. They want kids in the hands of the state early on...

A prime example is the tobacco industry and how they hired a psychiatrist to plan the attack of getting women to smoke when it was not a fashionable thing to do. Women were thought of as inferior for smoking. So, they hired this shrink to study what would get all women wanting to smoke and they hired a few women to do just that during a large parade. I forget the specifics...

They also paid off a few reporters to make sure and zoom in on these 'rebel women' smoking during a large parade as if they were heros. Next thing you know.. Cigarettes become a message and the rest is history.

They are doing the same thing with the stay at home wife. They want to give it a bad name when it actually is the MOST IMPORTANT JOB THERE IS! Educating their children and keeping the ship --shape!

It is scary how they plan these attacks and have such great patience in doing so and if you are not looking, you would never notice them creeping in.

All just my opinion of course...

Originally posted by SangriaRed
reply to post by ColCurious

 

Lazy???
How do you figure?

I think that there is a problem with the perception (and sometimes a reality) of what a stay at home mom/wife does.
Perhaps my mom was a great example for me and so I'm basing what my responsibilities are off of what I witnessed.
My mom did do some housecleaning on the side for extra money, but it was very part time.

The best way I can explain it is: homesteading.

She was responsible for keeping a house clean, getting the groceries made, finding ways to make a life for our family within a budget and in an economy that was going up and down. She grew a garden, canned, sewed and did thrift shopping.
I don't think my mom stopped to think of herself once.
I still look at how I can do better based on what I saw my mom do.

I grow and tend a garden, thrift shop, sew, learning to can, I kick my butt to get the kids out and about so they're not "un-socialized" (that is a part of our decision as a husband and wife to home school).

Honestly, if what you see is laziness, perhaps what you're basing your decision on is based on a model that is different from those of women who spend much of their waking hours taking care of others.
I could be absolutely wrong! And if so, my apologies, I'm just not sure where anyone, male or female would see tending a home in it's entirety and taking care of others would conclude such a life is lazy.

Stay at home moms/wives are in a partnership with their mate.
One works his butt off all day long to make sure that his wife and family is taken care of.
A wife, out of respect and appreciation for what her husband does for the family, in return sees to the needs of the people in the home and the home itself.

It's a matter of mutual respect and appreciation accompanying the love you have for one another which drives each person in the relationship to strive to make their home life the best it can be.

When it stops being that, it's time to review where it went wrong.
And for the record I tend to believe that it's best to sort this out before marriage or moving in together as waiting until the child is born or the vow has been made can make things rather difficult later on.

Yep, and actually I would say in this day and age, a lot of the time "working in the real world" is 10x easier than staying at home. I work as hard as I can at my job and recently landed a raise as a result, but my husband has it way tougher at home with our 5 month old. And he does everything... I do a big clean on the weekends, but he keeps the place tidy, cooks, does all the shopping, does laundry, takes care of our plants and animals, oh and also a 5 month old that requires CONSTANT attention !!!! Babies are HARD! If you're doing it right, that is!!! haha.

Unless you're willing to call day care staff, gardeners, cooks, personal shoppers, housekeepers, and all that jazz, LAZY, then you really have no place to call a stay at home parent lazy.

Originally posted by theabsolutetruth
Be thankful for feminism making the world a safer place for women and children and a more palatable society in general.

Feminism is Out in the western world, mine&yours that is, just as unnecessary as a sony casette walkman when you've already progressed onto ipod. Feminism is maybe needed in other parts of the world but this thread is not about that.

So what are we talking about here? We came to the point of no return and the only way is down the hill which means it gets worse - so now you get to spew comments (you or another ATS 'feminist') that you like to earn your own money instead of acting like a prostitute BUT wait a minute isn't prostitution a recognized profession? I thought so, women are choosing to make money by selling their body's and you are (indirectly) telling them it is a wrong, non-feminist profession ey?
Just like a woman with a 'wasted' phd who chose to open up a beauty salon and earn her own money, just like a mother of 4 who chose to stay at home 'and do nothing all day long'.

Feminism - go away and leave people alone!

reply to post by ConspiracyReally



Amen to that!!

I love that more men are staying at home with the kids.
My neighbor and his partner recently had a baby and he works out of the home with the baby.
He is such an awesome father!!
I saw him washing the front windows on Father's Day.

I totally wanna buy this guy a keg.

Being a wife suggests being married... between a man and a woman. As a married couple your purpose becomes united and one. Whatever events that take place are for the good of the union, or at least thats how it's supposed to work. Whatever labors needed to live and prosper are a shared responsibility. One of the couple needs to work to provide income, and one needs to maintain the atmosphere where this can be achieved. To raise children is a full time job, at least until they are in school. We have seen what unsupervised children have gravitated towards, and it has been catastrophe by and large. As long as society thinks they need every comfort and diversion toy to live an average lifestyle, they will be slaves to this need. In the 40's and 50's life was much different as far as what were luxuries and what were necessities. No one needs a two story six bedroom, three car garage, with brand new cars, a boat and club memberships. No one needs entertainment centers, or every possible food processing gadget made, nor $300 tennis shoes, or designer clothing. These are all lusts and wasteful. Were people to live simply to simply live, the whole world would be a much better place. But that mindset has pretty much been abandoned and consumerism taken it's place. And with all this rampant consumerism and chaos of maintaining such a lifestyle..... guess where people want to go on a vacation.... somewhere simple, without cares, somewhere to unwind from the chaos, the machines, the phones, the computers. Back to nature. Life has evolved into an endless treadmill, and if it were possible, you would stay there until it was time to plant you.
But you know what.......... you can say NO to all of that and live simply, and much happier, but many have been programed such that they know no other way than production, production, work, work, work. Who are you working for? Your family? The system?

Woman who take the time and sacrifice to raise their children and maintain the family structure for a working husband are to be highly commended. It is NO easy task... ! So if some woman wants to jump on a soapbox and proclaim to the world.. "Stay at home women degrade the status of women in our society" ...... by all means go ahead. But stay out of the way of those woman working to support the family unit by doing the domestic responsibilities it takes for a household to function...............

What a load of garbage. My wife has a degree and 20+ years experience as an accountant. Last year, while working for her misogynist boss, we decided that we could afford for her to quit and be a stay-at-home mother. I don't make all that much ($43k), we just have hardly any bills. Now I come home to home-cooked meals, a tidied up house, and a much, much reduced-stress wife. Our son comes home from school with a parent in the house.

Back before the feminazi movement of the '60s/'70s, husbands "wouldn't let" their wives work. It's a choice for women to stay at home now, and the feminists, trapped in a job they hate but fought so hard for, are jealous and hateful of women that get to be at home.

/TOA

I haven't read all the thread, so sorry if I'm repeating some-one else.

WHAT was the divorce rate before the drive to get women out of the house to work compared to now ?

And I believe I could make the case that the family unit has been all but destroyed by women working, which probably shows in the amount of crime committed by youngsters and gangs.

Then you have the wages that have been kept lower by having women compete for jobs with their male counterparts.....which would have probably meant a man could have earned enough to keep his wife at home, should they choose.

But don't get me wrong, If a single woman or married woman without children wants a career then fair enough, but once the choice has been made to have a family I believe that's where their focus should be........Maybe I'm old fashioned.

only two things are infinite the universe and human stupidity and i'm not sure about the former.

The woman is the backbone of the home. Atleast used to be

reply to post by grandmakdw


Of course, nothing is more noble than keeping a JOB! You must have a job if you want to be happy. You must have a job if you want to get married. If you don't have a job you are worthless and pitiful and not a good 'Meruhkin.

The false assumption that jobs and careers are good to have needs to stop. that is the only way we can halt this corporatocracy. There is a better way, we are living in such a backwards civilization. I believe it is Jiddu Krishnamurti who said, "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." I am not adjusted to our society and neither should you be. We should all be working towards change, and not just voting for the word 'change' every 4 years.

I can appreciate your sarcasm......
But this is a GEM.....
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." .

reply to post by grandmakdw


considering you were a college professor, and this "education" system is so damaging, you did more harm then good. Shoulda been a stay at home mother your whole life!


lol

reply to post by grandmakdw


For clarity...

By "radio personality"...you mean Rush Limbaugh

By "Article written by a Feminist"...you mean Elizabeth Wurtzel at the Atlantic....

By "Stay at home women"....you mean stay at home WIVES of the 1%...who rarely "stay at home(s)"

Housewives...not stay at home moms.

Having a net worth of 250 Million and having 5 Nannies and housekeepers at each of your 6 homes is a whole different world from the average stay at home mom who works her ass off....and THAT is the theme of her article.

Excerpts from the article..

I am going to smack the next idiot who tells me that raising her children full time -- by which she really means going to Jivamukti classes and pedicure appointments while the nanny babysits -- is her feminist choice.
......
I have to admit that when I meet a woman who I know is a graduate of, say, Princeton -- one who has read The Second Sex and therefore ought to know better -- but is still a full-time wife , I feel betrayed.

To be a stay-at-home mom is a privilege, and most of the housewives I have ever met -- none of whom do anything around the house -- live in New York City and Los Angeles, far from Peoria.

Being a rich mom -- even with five sons, bless her heart -- is not even sort of a job. Housekeepers there, servants there: it's not just that being a wealthy wife is not work in the way that being a corporate litigator or a corporal in the Army is work, it's that it doesn't even involve picking up Lego pieces and putting away GI Joe dolls or much of any of the stuff that makes being a mom a job.

www.theatlantic.com...


She is talking about the false claims and false feminism of the likes of The Housewives of New Jersey or Housewives of New York.

She is NOT talking about 99% of stay at hom moms...and she makes that clear alll throughout her article..

Maybe you should stop listening to Rush Limbaugh...

edit on 19-6-2012 by Indigo5 because: (no reason given)

reply to post by grandmakdw


To me, having one parent that can stay at home is the IDEAL, not a degradation. Ever since both parents have had to work, we've ended up with a generation of entitled brats and gangsters.

Technically, my wife is both. She stays at home (while I commute to work each day), but we operate a business out of our home also. Not to mention, even with help, it's work maintaining the ranch.

So, she's at home, but we're also entrepreneurs... Is she degrading women in society? I don't think so.

reply to post by grandmakdw

Hmmmm... you actually have a good point there. What you said about Germany is true and I never thought of this connection.

Today we tried again to hire a third master for training in our company... but slowly the increasing shortage of skilled technicians is noticeable.

I'll have to rethink this. Thanks for the input.

reply to post by grandmakdw


This is how I see it all. Men took advantage of their position over women (Just like the unions today, abuse their power because they can). The elite saw this as an opportunity to exploit and did. There was never a moment the feminist movement care about women that did not contribute to the agenda of the elite, it's purpose was to put women into the labor pool (at the expense of the family) so that segment of population could be taxed as well. The family and the children have suffered for it, and it shows.

reply to post by n00bUK


It's not "living" for one person to work two jobs so that the other can stay home either.

Hell -- very little of what we do anymore is "living."

my wife is a stay at home mother of 2. when i read this thread i was deeply offended and angry. she is ANYTHING but lazy and saves us money by staying at home with them, and most importantly SHE is raising our kids and not a stranger. i supported her in her decision to stay home but also told her she could work if she wanted to. staying at home to raise our children is what she chose and i support her fully.

she is very well educated also, having a master's degree in business. stay at home mom's are a major contribution to society and all mom's in general for that matter. and even if a woman or man decide's to stay at home that is a personal choice that does not deserve to be ridiculed by some @$$ hole behind a mic.

as far as i'm concerned women with the choice and ability to stay at home with their kids could be considered the back bone of society, seeing as how they shape and mold their children.

I wouldn't let your feelings get too hurt over anything you hear on a radio program. In my opinion talk radio is pretty much a comedy hour filled with opinions by people that are way out of touch with the everyday life of the average American family. Most folks know that the overwhelming majority of women who are stay at home moms and grandmas work hard. Of course there are some who are lazy and don't pull their weight, just as there are in the nine-to-five crowd. I worked full time until I had my first child at twenty eight. I didn't have a career path so there was not a conflict in that way. Although I have done some part time work and volunteering I have not returned to a full time job outside of the home.

Now that our kids are grown, I have more free time but I still have enough work to do that I'm not bored. My husband works hard outside of the home and does not share housework, yardwork, snow removal, grocery shopping/errands, cooking, etc. Like the OP I have elderly parents who now need more help so I am able to be there rather than hire outside help. When the weekend comes we generally have more time to relax than when we both worked outside the home. We are not wealthy so we've had to budget and forego a few material things along the way but I wouldn't change anything if we had to do it over.

Many people may not want to ever live like this. Like they say, it's all good. I guess I can't relate to the economic freedom issue that someone else mentions here because my husband doesn't treat his paycheck like it just belongs to him and we have been married for over 25 years.

I realize that many women who work outside the home, especially single parents with kids use their nights and weekends to care for children and do housework too. Other than someone in the media trying to stir up a controversy, sometimes an overworked person such as this expresses hostility against the stay at home mom, calling them lazy, etc. probably more out of frustration than actually believing everyone should work outside of the home. And the hard-core feminists need to realize that all women don't need to measure their self esteem or equality by a paycheck or job title.

Proverb 12
[4] A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.

reply to post by grandmakdw

Proverb 31
[10] Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
[11] The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
[12] She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
[13] She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
[14] She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
[15] She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
[16] She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
[17] She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
[18] She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
[19] She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
[20] She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
[21] She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
[22] She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
[23] Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
[24] She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
[25] Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
[26] She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
[27] She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
[28] Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

It is the fact that women have left the home to find employment in the open market that children have become unruly. And the family unit destroyed by others raising the children while the parents work the tread mill of slavery trying to get more then they need. Never satisfied with what they have.

A woman is the helpmeet to her husband, as she was created not from his foot to tread upon him nor from his head to be over him; but from his rib to be equal to him and next to him.

The man is the head of the household and is subject to God for the things that happen in it. That includes protecting his wife and children and not abusing either.