Originally posted by grandmakdw
While listening to a radio personality reading an article from a feminist who says women who “stay home” are 1%’ers who drag other women down and lower female status, I had to sit down and listen.
I had just finished vacuuming and dusting our 2200 sq foot house; mopping the wood and tile floors; and doing 3 loads of laundry. As I was preparing to clean the bathrooms and kitchen I listened as a woman said I was “kept” and not making a valuable contribution to society since I’m not a professional paid housekeeper.
I have to admit this was my “housecleaning day”, so what about the rest of the week. Well, I cook for my husband and I and take a meal over to my Mom every day. But that’s not work, is it? After all I’m not a professional chef.
Since I’m a grandma I have to admit I don’t have children at home. My senior executive daughter does “real” work, so when her kids get sick, I care for them, that’s not work is it? When the kids need to be driven to things outside of school, I drive them, but that’s not work. It would only be work if my daughter paid me to be a nanny and nurse, but since I stay at home and don’t really work, it’s not real work is it? When my husband or Mom are ill I stay with them and care for them until they recover. But that’s not work, unless I was a certified nursing assistant.
Well, the kids aren’t always sick or need chauffeuring around, so I really am kept aren’t I? I guess the quilts I make for the women in shelters and the homeless and for camps for foster kids, that’s not work. After all no one buys my quilts so that’s not real work, I’m just a kept woman who goes out to lunch with the quilt guild once a week.
Oh, tomorrows task? Mowing and trimming our lawn and my mother’s lawn. Hope the aggressive spraying I’ve done in our and Mom’s garden has rid them of the beetles, but I digress. No that’s not work, that’s being kept since I’m not a paid gardener.
My husband does the real work and keeps me. So when he calls me to run an errand for him that he doesn’t have time to do since he works, that’s being kept. When I buy the groceries and shop for bargains to save us money, that’s being kept, not real work. When I search for replacement parts for broken or lost items, that’s not work. When I buy special bargains to take to a local shelter for the mentally challenged isn’t work, is it? Unless I was a personal shopper, but I’m not, I’m kept.
So I guess she is right, I’m just a kept woman who degrades the role of women in the world. Especially since at one time I was a college professor who now stays home to take care of 3 generations. What a bad example I set for other women.
Originally posted by SangriaRed
reply to post by ColCurious
How do you figure?
I think that there is a problem with the perception (and sometimes a reality) of what a stay at home mom/wife does.
Perhaps my mom was a great example for me and so I'm basing what my responsibilities are off of what I witnessed.
My mom did do some housecleaning on the side for extra money, but it was very part time.
The best way I can explain it is: homesteading.
She was responsible for keeping a house clean, getting the groceries made, finding ways to make a life for our family within a budget and in an economy that was going up and down. She grew a garden, canned, sewed and did thrift shopping.
I don't think my mom stopped to think of herself once.
I still look at how I can do better based on what I saw my mom do.
I grow and tend a garden, thrift shop, sew, learning to can, I kick my butt to get the kids out and about so they're not "un-socialized" (that is a part of our decision as a husband and wife to home school).
Honestly, if what you see is laziness, perhaps what you're basing your decision on is based on a model that is different from those of women who spend much of their waking hours taking care of others.
I could be absolutely wrong! And if so, my apologies, I'm just not sure where anyone, male or female would see tending a home in it's entirety and taking care of others would conclude such a life is lazy.
Stay at home moms/wives are in a partnership with their mate.
One works his butt off all day long to make sure that his wife and family is taken care of.
A wife, out of respect and appreciation for what her husband does for the family, in return sees to the needs of the people in the home and the home itself.
It's a matter of mutual respect and appreciation accompanying the love you have for one another which drives each person in the relationship to strive to make their home life the best it can be.
When it stops being that, it's time to review where it went wrong.
And for the record I tend to believe that it's best to sort this out before marriage or moving in together as waiting until the child is born or the vow has been made can make things rather difficult later on.
Originally posted by theabsolutetruth
Be thankful for feminism making the world a safer place for women and children and a more palatable society in general.
I am going to smack the next idiot who tells me that raising her children full time -- by which she really means going to Jivamukti classes and pedicure appointments while the nanny babysits -- is her feminist choice.
I have to admit that when I meet a woman who I know is a graduate of, say, Princeton -- one who has read The Second Sex and therefore ought to know better -- but is still a full-time wife , I feel betrayed.
To be a stay-at-home mom is a privilege, and most of the housewives I have ever met -- none of whom do anything around the house -- live in New York City and Los Angeles, far from Peoria.
Being a rich mom -- even with five sons, bless her heart -- is not even sort of a job. Housekeepers there, servants there: it's not just that being a wealthy wife is not work in the way that being a corporate litigator or a corporal in the Army is work, it's that it doesn't even involve picking up Lego pieces and putting away GI Joe dolls or much of any of the stuff that makes being a mom a job.
reply to post by grandmakdw
 A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.
 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.