the last time i visited america i wanted to cross over the bridge to see if could get some good deals and a philly cheese steak.
i had all the necessary documents and for some reason the border guard thought i was an international coc aine smuggler. although i didnt know it at the time.
so i drove up to the booth and the guard says " good afternoon, what is the nature of your visit".
i said " to get a philly cheese steak and see if i could spot some good deals"
then he asked me for how long "i said a couple of hours"
he said "o.k." kept my documents and told me to follow another guard and drive over to a side building. there i was greeted by 3 heavily armed border guards dressed in swat gear.
one of them asked me to get out of the car and all three of them escorted me to a waiting area. i was under the impression that any sudden movement would result in massive automatic gunfire being shot at my direction point blank range.
they then drove the car to some other building and was told it was being searched. i said "fine", i thought it was just a routine random search.
i was in this waiting room for 3 hours when an agent finally came and escorted me to an interrogation room. this is where things got funny, for me, not them. i knew i wasn't a coc aine trafficker but these idiots couldn't grasp the concept, so i was having a good time.
i was in that room for the next 9 hours having to deny i was smuggling drugs and all i wanted was a philly cheese steak.
he kept asking me over and over again where the coc aine was. i said "what coc aine, are you insane", "i got no drugs" as so on. he then started saying that i wouldn't like it if i was smuggling drugs into your country. this went non stop for hours. it looked and sounded like "who's on first routine".
over and over again he kept asking me were the coc aine was. and over and over again i kept saying i wanted a philly cheese steak. this guy was no older than 19-20. i finally got fed up and asked if i could speak to an adult. (i have to add that they kept leaving the room and coming back, leaving me alone for long stretches at a time.)
when i said that, this big burly bad ass came, complete with standard issue cop mustache and said that they were going to release me soon, but first i have to have my finger prints digitally scanned.
then i told the guy, if all you wanted was my fingerprints all he had to do was ask. i would have said sure. i'm a guest in your country and if that's the rules i either say yes or go home, no big deal since i don't live there and they have no authority over me.
finally i was released and told i couldn't enter the country without a special waiver that would cost me $200.
that was the kicker, they couldn't arrest me, so they wanted to extort money from me.
by that time it was so late i had to settle for mcdonalds, instead of greasy philly cheese steak.
i guess the moral of the story is, don't ever mention that you're craving a philly cheese steak to an american border agent, they might think its international coc aine smuggling code for drugs.
yes america, sleep easy, your tax dollars are hard at work. with all the time they wasted on me, 100 real coc aine smugglers probably got thru yippe ki yaying all the way to where ever they go.
edit on 15-6-2012 by randomname because: (no reason given)