Coincidence or something more?

reply to post by Greensage


It's true.

Even officers wouldn't deal with him. May have shown their weapon to him a time or two, but still they were too scared to shoot him.

I had a Saint Bernard. 250 pd while I was married, and no one would go near him, especially when he drooled like CUJO.

They were scared of him.

He died on his own or so I have been told.

But still, everyone feared his position.

Originally posted by DustbowlDebutante
Is this what you meant?

I do understand how distressing your situation feels, Dustbowl, as I've been through something very similar with one of my family members...

But "help" comes in many forms... tough love being one of them.

From the way you describe this, it sounds to me that he's feeding off of your fear. He knows good and well that your family is afraid of him, and he can come and go as he pleases, threatening you or bullying the family -- and none of you will stand up to him in a definite, final-straw way..

Your dream may have even been showing you, in a sense, that your own intense fear of him is what keeps bringing him limping back into your lives for more..

Speaking from experience, I can only share what worked for me; I spent years trying to convince him to get into rehab (to no avail) and the only thing that brought this to an end was to stay calm, remove the fear, and dismiss him out of my life...

"You are no long welcome in our lives until you are ready to take responsibility for your actions." The end. Cut the cords. Don't send him money, don't allow him to step a foot in your doors, don't pay his phone bills, don't speak to him or even acknowledge his existence any longer.

If you stand up for yourselves in a bold, unmistakable way (not passively, as giving him money to get him out of your lives), then either one of two things will happen; he will continue to spiral downwards into his addiction until he is arrested or ends up in a coffin (god forbid), or he will realize exactly what he has become and decide for himself that he wants it to come to an end.

In my case, this took years... I hadn't heard him in over 3 years until one day, he came back to prove how he had overcome his addiction. And sure enough, he had..

But if I had kept enabling him by not standing my ground, and letting him away with disrespect; he would still be that same person he was then, today.

This is just my point of view, but as always, there are multiple ways of handling issues that crop up in life.

It's a very sticky situation, Dustbowl, and I wish your entire family all the best in resolving this...

reply to post by Manhater


I have seen grown men scared of chihuahuas! LOL Yes a Bernard would be something on the level of a Bear!

Originally posted by Greensage
reply to post by Manhater

 

I have seen grown men scared of chihuahuas! LOL Yes a Bernard would be something on the level of a Bear!

At the time, it was quite funny, cause he looked at me as to what to do. My dog broke out my door when I was doing something. But I hear the officer screaming ready to use his gun, So, I ran out, and there my dog was. He had him the officer and his dog German Shepard cornered when looking for a suspect at the time. So, he did impede his investigation. But he didn't shoot my dog or give me a citation without a leash. But the officer and his dog, were frozen in time. I thought it was sort of cute. He did look like CUJO drooling at the mouth, but he only wanted to play with the dog.

reply to post by DustbowlDebutante

I hope that nothing goes bad, but from what you have said, I really hope that your brother gets in some sort of minor trouble that lands him in jail. There he could get sober and possibly have to go to rehab. I know you've said you've tried to get him to go, but he would be able to check himself out. That seems like a pretty good end result to things. Like I said, watch your back. Obviously there is already an eerie enough feeling that your mom set up those text message alert. We usually do what is right, so there is a reason for y'all tracking him. It's tough when that is your family member, but at the same time, being blood doesn't mean that you should necessarily "keep trying to help someone out". We all take our own paths, and when we want to, we get on the right one again by our own choice. Good luck, and pray for your family, self, and brother. Peace

Maybe you think he may be using bath salts and turning into a zombie or Maybe he is turning into a zombie and you sense it

Wow, thank you ALL so much for all of the wonderful replies.

Isabelx, I'm with you on the tough love and I agree with all that you said. He IS my brother and while I do care about him, I have made it quite clear he is no longer welcome in my home and I don't want him anywhere near my son. However, this is much harder for my mom and my grandma. Especially my mom. And unfortunately, my grandma has more money than she has sense, so she keeps funding all of this. He actually had an arrest warrant out for hot checks and I honestly had hoped it would land him in jail and wake him up, but grandma paid everything to get him out of it. He has had several minor brushes with the law, and granny ALWAYS bails his butt out.

Greensage, I understand where you're coming from about the big dog. We are a boxer family My mom has a 75 lb. female named (quite appropriately) Belle Starr and I have no doubt she will protect my mom to the death if need be. However, in my case, I keep fish and an old, grumpy, arthritic cat. I don't think I could take care of a dog along with the 100 gallons of fish, several flowerbeds, the cat and the kiddo! It is a great idea though, and one I would likely try if I didn't already have my hands full!

Celeste, we have discussed the narcissistic personality thing and mom and I agree that much of it fits. Also, his lack of empathy concerns me. And your experience sounds like him as well: just a good ole boy and a great guy...until you really get to know him and/or have to live under the same roof with him. Spot. On.

Cahlin, yes I feel it is somewhat instinctual and that the dream and his return were linked. I don't understand quite how or what happened, but it's certainly too close for comfort for me to not take note and be aware of it. I don't really think I will see him walking through the woods behind my house (he is too lazy to go to the trouble of hiking through that field, I think), but I think it was symbolic of his return for sure.

One final question though, since you all seem to know more about dreams and such... Since I was aware that I was dreaming, does this mean I had a lucid dream???