Blue Tuesday

There must, must be something I can buy.
It's obvious, it's that simple, it's obviously that simple.
I'll go buy something.
Here I go!

A cheese grater, dishwasher safe, wonderful! Then I will need to buy some cheese. That way I can grate some cheese. And I'll slice some tomatoes. I'll buy some tomatoes. And a tomato slicer.
Trojan Twister??? Why not? Put it in the cart.
A shopping cart! Holy Jesus, how many things could I do with that? I wonder if they'll sell me it. I could...

"Hey you. What are you doing?" He had appeared from nowhere, from some other aisle, dressed so fresh and so clean. "Oh, hey. I, ah, I'm shopping," I stammered, was flustered, embarrassed, nonchalantly sort of stuffed the Trojans down the back on my jeans.

"What are you getting?" Nosy me, curious me, I looked in his cart, poked around. His cart was half-packed, mostly with food, but there was a couple of interesting non-perishable items.
"What's this?" I asked, picking it up, looking at it.
"You know," He said.
"Well, of course I know," I said laughing, I put it back down, "Why wouldn't I know?"
"How couldn't you?" He laughed.
We, everyone, was laughing and ignorant, but acting smart and looking good, so....
"You look great," I said, just out of the blue, out of the clear blue Tuesday, I just went ahead and said it.
"Well thank you," He smiled, he stood there, and I could describe him, how he looked standing, but I wouldn't be able to describe his smile. He made people glad to see him, very much.
More than glad, I feel lucky, fortunate, which is kind of strange. He makes up for a lot of things.

(The shiny whiny dissatisfied club [SWDC] held it's first meeting on Tuesday, but the cookies were stale. Hardly anyone showed up. The weather wasn't perfect.)

"Look at that!" I said, exclaimed, finger out, pointing and mouth slightly gaped.
An electric blanket, beige and on sale, just sitting there, waiting, half-price.
He wasn't as impressed, not as, not into it I guess, we were shopping together, side by side, strolling slowly along the enchanted aisles.
I grabbed two of the electric blankets, quickly, a beige one and a light green one, put them in my cart, just think.
"Have you ever slept in silk sheets?" I asked.
"They're wonderful," He smiled. We were near the plates and frying pans.
I stopped, looked, put a couple of plates in my cart, round plates, real round and shiny. "Everything's so clean." I said.

("Attention shoppers - There is a Blue Tuesday in the parking lot, with its lights on, with its engine running, blowing its horn with the ashtray full, and now.... now look... It's all flying away...")

"Do you remember..." He began, while we were tramping through the clothes of many colors, "...Do you remember when I was a big brown Collie, and everyday I used to wait for you to come home from school, I'd sit and wait at the bus stop."
"I remember," Grin, grinning, I found and grabbed a nice pair of jeans, casual, should probably see if they fit, try them on, but if they don't fit me they're bound to fit someone. "And you," I said, "Do you remember when I was a thin plastic coaster, and I'd stick to the bottom of your glass? I'd stick until you got the glass about half-way to your mouth, then I'd fall off, and sometimes I'd fall in your lap."
"I remember," He laughed, grinned.
"But I must say," I said, I must have said, "I like you much better now, now that you're you."
"How come?" He asked, puzzled eyes.
"You have much better breath."
"Well, thank you, but can I be honest?"
"Of course," I demanded.
"I miss my coaster,"
We were entering then into the long and crisp underwear aisles, dangerous place, my thoughts...

(Listen: Learn to
Live on an empty stomach
Try not to sleep
Someone
Is stealing your precious things
Someone
Is creeping up behind you...)

"Why are you getting so much stuff?" He asked.
He walked along, he walked right by without even noticing the Microfiber Wonder Rag.
I, of course, noticed.
"Why?" I was now on my third cart, I had them hooked together with chains, I put the Microfiber Wonder Rag on top of the women's bikini panties (48 pairs).
Why WAS I getting so much stuff? I stopped to think about it, stopped all three carts, just to answer him, because I loved answering him, I liked him very much him asking questions.
'So why?' I thought, I asked myself in thought. 'Because women love to shop?' Too easy, too general, doesn't explain me in the specific now. 'Because I don't feel good?' Close, that's definitely close, probably part of the answer. But I haven't felt very good for over a year, maybe two, and I haven't been going out shopping all the time, and why now? Something more, still something more. 'Because I want to be more like them?' That's definitely close, closer, very much part of the why, the how come. It's been building up. I've felt so extremely different for so long.
He was stopped and waiting patiently for an answer, waiting buff with very brown eyes. I was stopped and looking up at the lights way up high near the ceiling, my head thrown back, trying to think of that answer, figure it out, trying to think how to explain what he wanted to understand. We were stopped and blocking the aisle. All three of my carts were just standing there, not really thinking much, just resting their wheels.
"Get out of the way, you doomsday freak!" It was a huge woman with red red cheeks, glaring heat, fat in a fat flowered housecoat, with six or seven ugly children crawling over her like lice and whining for candy. ("Give us candy! We want candy! Give us candy!")
I was scared.
I pulled my carts ahead and over to the right, but I moved too fast and the third cart, the one filled with potting soil and dog food, was too heavy. It slid out of control and nailed him, nailed my friend, knocked him flying into the shampoos and rinses.

(There's still time,
It's still Tuesday
There's still time
It's still Tuesday
There's still time...)

"You're sure you're okay?" I asked, feeling dreadfully bad. "I'm fine," He was sticky, some of the green apple shampoos had burst open and soaked him, but luckily everything is made of plastic these days, no broken glass, no contusions.
"You smell nice," I said. I like Green Apple.
A look he gave me worth a thousand words.
We were standing in line at the check-out counter, we were done shopping, we were checking out.
"Hello," said the guy standing at the register.
"Hello," I said.
His eyes scanning through my many carts, "That's quite a bit of stuff there."
Behind me I saw my friend shaking his sticky head.
"I just like buying things," I said.
"Cool," the guy thought I was cool, getting all that stuff. He checked out my boobs.
Out of the store we rolled our carts, I was becoming weary and poor, like everyone else.
"So, you take care of yourself," I said to him, by way of good-bye.
He smiled and said he would, he said that he always has.
Good bye.
"Excuse me!"
Behind me a voice.
"Ma'am?"
I turned and saw a middle aged man with thin hair, in a thin suit, he was approaching me.
"Excuse me, ma'am. I was wondering if you have anything under your shirt, perhaps something stuffed down your jeans?"

"Something stuffed down my jeans?" I laughed for a moment, not getting it.
"Oh S**t," said I, suddenly getting it.
"Would you step back inside the store, ma'am."
He was now beside me. He kept calling me ma'am.
"I forgot they were there." I said.
"Just step inside the store, ma'am."
"Okay," I said. "What do I do with my carts?" I asked the middle aged man.
Another suburban problem child.
Going to jail.

reply to post by Amarri


It's late so I must be brief but I thought it was wonderfully written and funny too. Is there perhaps a touch of self-portrait in the story with regard to the shop-lust? In any case, quite possibly a valuable insight into the female psyche.

reply to post by Amarri


THAT.

That was the most twisted and convoluted story I have read in a long time.

No, I'm not stalking you, your intro thread was fun, and I AM a regular in the SS forum. Ask anyone. (Psst, poke. Look at the links in my sig to find the latest contests. I am the only one here that links to the contest thread, and not individual stories. I'm a story whore, actually.)

THAT.

That was an amazing piece of writing, and lends us all an interesting perspective to the person you really are. Thanks for sharing.

reply to post by LightSpeedDriver


First off, let me give a big "thank you!" for taking the time to read it! And in answer to your question, yes, when I was a little younger, I was very impressionable about these "perfect" women, and I would obsess over my clothing, makeup, hair, etc. Really silly, I know. And it wasn't until I learned that these "models" were not everything they were made out to be, that I was finally able to "let my hair down" so to speak, and not blow all of my money on things that were of no lasting value.
Of course I still care how I look, lol, but I don't feel like a monster if I don't have the latest trend.

Another point of the story, is that no matter how obvious it was that she was able to pay for the supposed pilfered item, instead of human compassion or understanding, she was met with automatic, (programmed if you will), certainty that she was a thief, and just could not be telling the truth. Another, (in my opinion), example of how companies are always right, and the people are always wrong, no matter how much you invest in them.

Hope I was able to shed more light into the story, and again, thank you for your comment and the time taken to read it! Have a great night!

Okay if that is really a look into the female mind...

Wow, just wow.

But anyway, that was a cool little story. A great start to your thread posting career!

reply to post by Druid42


I sense that that was indeed that!! I hope that you read my comment to add a little context to the story. When I write I go with whatever pops into my head, and indeed that is sometimes a twisted place!

reply to post by SolarE-Souljah


Lol, scary place isn't it? But seriously, thanks for taking the time to read it, and I do hope to post many more stories. And hopefully not scare all the readers away!

reply to post by Druid42


Just read your story "The nature of the beast within", THAT sir, was magnificent and beautiful. It made my heart ache to be able to see such a place as that. I have always lived in the city, and would take trips to the national forests here to take many, many pictures so that I could keep it in my mind. It is good that you share such experiences with others, many may not even know they exist.

reply to post by Amarri


Off topic: Hint: You are supposed to "star" posts when you are running a thread. Not required, but returning readers read posts with lots-o-stars. Personally, I sometimes forget, but usually do. To star a post, there is an outlined star in the upper left corner of every post, so just click inside it. Voila. Easy, aye?

On topic: Thanks for the explanation, and I have been working on your character profile. (Bad habit of mine, sorry.) I'll add in that you are very expressive in real life as well. I'll guess that you are a Sagittarius.

Originally posted by Amarri
reply to post by Druid42

 

Just read your story "The nature of the beast within", THAT sir, was magnificent and beautiful. It made my heart ache to be able to see such a place as that. I have always lived in the city, and would take trips to the national forests here to take many, many pictures so that I could keep it in my mind. It is good that you share such experiences with others, many may not even know they exist.

Utoh. I have lots of stories posted. Don't dig back too far, or you'll get a good picture of my actual character. I bleed in bits and pieces, not giving enough in any one story for people to figure me out easily, but enough to invoke an emotional response. Thanks for the kind words, but did you remember to flag it? It is, everything aside, still an entry into a writing contest, albeit not my best work.

And so now, we have gained equal footing.

reply to post by Druid42


Haha! Yes I did Flag it! And star it too! I just didn't know I was to star in my own threads, so thanks for the tip!
You are close... Scorpio.

reply to post by Druid42


And of course.... I will definitely have to dig.

reply to post by Amarri


I appreciate the flag. It's the only way to win a contest. Not that I wish to win at all, I just love writing and have an ego that needs stroked now and then. To explain, I'm a Cancerian.

Nuff said 'bout that.

reply to post by Druid42


Yes, I certainly understand about your sign lol, water is deep and unfathomable.
I wish you the best in winning the contest, and I am sure that you will be a very strong contender!

reply to post by Amarri


I'm not trying to win, I just like to write. It's a way to get the burdens of life off my shoulders. It's therapeutic, for me, anyway.

That was actually a fun read, not too bad for a first go. A little formatting here and there, and it'd be a work of art. To me, it was kind of like gazing on modern art. Some points I didn't get it, some points it became clear, some parts I just laughed at their eccentricity and lack of structure as it connected to the overall story.

We are something of an odd bunch here in the SS forum, but very close-knit, and we compliment each other well. Most of all, unlike a lot of places on ATS, it is quite a friendly bastion, where encouragement is the norm, even in critique.

I do hope to see more of you here (and of course your work ), and S&F'd you for breaking my brain

Welcome

reply to post by Amarri


Bravo!

A dreamy fantasm to go along with my creamy morning coffee. The colourful writing style certainly fits the theme. I almost spewed at the visual experience of candy-craving lice crawling over a fat body. Spectacular...

I hope you'll do some more browsing in the Short Story aisle.

reply to post by 74Templar


Thank you 74! Will strive to improve upon my stories, and am pleased that you liked it! I appreciate you stopping by and commenting as well, and will do my utmost to entertain and break your brain! lol

I plan to read more of the awesome talent here, and am just so excited that there is a place such as this for people to share their thoughts.

reply to post by masqua


Haha! Sorry about the coffee... Bet it was good too! lol
I am so happy that you enjoyed it and had a good laugh, that is what inspires me to try even harder, so thank you and I hope you will enjoy future additions!

Have started reading the poems and stories posted here by some very talented people. I think I could be entertained for years!

Thank you so much for your comment and taking the time to read my story, and next time, don't sip the coffee before you start reading, I don't want to be held responsible for the waste of very fine java! hehe