posted on Jun, 14 2012 @ 05:38 AM
Last year during an American vs. Britain thread Muckster pointed out several things.
His were numbered, my reply to the point is beneath. Seemed appropriate for this thread as well.
1) We speak English.
We speak 'Merican.
2) We can have a conversation at normal audio levels without interspersing it with "HELL YEAH" "ALRIGHT" and "USA,USA" etc...
Federal law. We have to do that.
3) We don’t do silly high fives; we simply shake hands like grown ups.
We invented the fist-bump with the splayed fingers.
4) We do not believe what our government tells us.
Our government says you're lying.
5) We are educated.
I don't need triggernometry. I already know how to shoot.
6) Our homes don’t have wheels.
Then how can you do NASCAR?
7) The Banjo is banned under common decency laws.
Your loss. (hee-yuk)
8) Although marrying cousins is legal it is not widely accepted.
We aren't french for gods sake!
9) We don’t have to have our national flag on everything we own.
Then how do you know what nationality you are?
10) We know the meaning of the word “Humble”.
We know the word. We're the BEST at it!
11) We realise that there are other countries in the world.
More Americas? Not likely.
12) We can “walk” to our shops (Remember that one America?? Walking??)
We walk to our cars. Actally, I have a scooter for that.
13) Our Queen (God bless her) is actually the ruler of the entire world, unlike Obama who just runs America!.
Obama is a King! (didn't get the memo?)
14) When you look into our eyes you see the sane, calm and tranquil look of a pedigree... Not the cross-eyed, insane, and slightly angry look of a
*scratching a flea* Huh?
15) We drink Tea.
Is that a brand of coffee?
16) We know which fork is for starters.
Trick question. You don't use a fork for starters. You use a wrench.
17) We know which spoon is for desert.
Silly brits. Why use spoon for beer?
18) If we ever lost a War we would never make a thousand movies about it so that we could collectively wallow in self-pity
USA, USA, USA, USA,. . . . what was the question?
19) When we win wars we have a dignified parade which involves the crowd quietly waving flags and clapping politely.
We have quiet dignified parades. Then we invade countries and blow stuff up.
20) We invented Comedy Sarcasm and Irony
We invented fart jokes.
21) We are the only country in the world that does actually LOVE America and Americans
Awwww, big hugs, puddin'.