You Just Can't Replace A Member Of The Family

Originally posted by sinohptik

Originally posted by jdb51
Don't let these people get under your skin.

I get tattoos for the humans and dogs that have passed away in my life. I dont mind them being under my skin

You are right though, many people who would say such a thing simply dont understand it. Either they are incapable of such feelings, or have not had the opportunity. With that being said, my own actions will be to go out and adopt a dog as soon as space frees up. I am more than willing to go through the inevitable pain to give them love and a good home, and the longer I wait, the longer they wait. I have had a lot of practice though.. That is, with saying "goodbye" to both human and canine companions alike.

reply to post by Kangaruex4Ewe

 

I am sorry for your loss. Its difficult to lose those whom we have invested love, and received it back. Bonds are made. All Things are passing away though, the outcome was inevitable. Now you understand the full implications of the relationship, and you still are considering starting a new one with another four-legged being. Such a stance takes great, great strength.

You could only feel such sadness from a being which impacted your life greatly. It is a thing of amazing beauty, as bittersweet as it may be. Everything we know is impermanent, but that makes it more special. That doesnt mean its easy... Never hesitate to hug your loved ones, you will not always be able to do so. Cherish it. And know that when your time comes, there will be many waiting for you.

Do not be afraid to jump back in when ready. There are many dogs waiting for a good home. Waiting for someone to love them, and waiting for someone to love. It only enriches our experience, and as you found, these beings deserve it. When you look back on your life in your own final moments, what would you like to see? Life is both beautiful and heartbreaking. Dive in.

My sincere thanks for your post. You guys are more than amazing.

Your post makes so many great points and I can only imagine how happy your animals must be. I decided long ago that if I ever got another dog, it would be a rescued one and when the time comes, I plan on sticking to it 100%. There are tons of loving animals waiting for a family!

reply to post by Kangaruex4Ewe


You are so very welcome Kangaroo.

Thank you for reminding me what it truly is to live. It never gets old, even if I havent actually forgotten.

No matter how great the pain is, with every loss, I am always reminded of how thankful I am to have even known them in the first place.

Years ago, we would put the following poem on the urns of dogs that people brought in to be cremated. Perhaps you have read it, perhaps not (its popular in its way). But, it always gets me. Author is unknown.

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.

The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance.

His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again.

The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

reply to post by sinohptik


Ahh you beat me to it, I was just about to post the Rainbow Bridge. We recently lost a kitty family member that was very special.

It never gets easier, and it is like losing a member of the family, else, why would you have them to begin with? You open your arms and your heart and your home to them, why expect less? Cherish the moments, and know they knew they were loved, just as you have no doubt in your heart and mind you were loved back.

That is the peace that gets you through.

I am sorry for your loss............................I don't know what I would do if my cat (friend) died. He has taught me so much about who I am and who I should be.

I wouldn't get too upset with those telling you to get another, everyone deals with these type of things differently. I thing they mean well, but just don't understand, we all are not alike....

When I was a child, 39 years ago, we lost our dog do to and illness. I have never seen my father so distraught and to this day, he is totally adamant about EVER having another pet.

We all deal with things differently. Some people jump right back in feet first, others build a wall and will never allow that pain to happen to them again.

my grandparents bought a puppy and brought it home when I was born. her name was Mel-Lee.
I grew up with her until I was about 17 when she died.
that yorkshire terrier was my best friend every day growing up..
not only the smartest animal i've ever witnessed, but also the most compassionate and loving...
it's been like 4-5 years and I still feel it in the pit of my heart just thinking about it,
I have a couple pictures of her by my side, looking up at me.
there is absolutely no replacement. ever.

Originally posted by Libertygal
reply to post by sinohptik

 

Ahh you beat me to it, I was just about to post the Rainbow Bridge. We recently lost a kitty family member that was very special.

It never gets easier, and it is like losing a member of the family, else, why would you have them to begin with? You open your arms and your heart and your home to them, why expect less? Cherish the moments, and know they knew they were loved, just as you have no doubt in your heart and mind you were loved back.

That is the peace that gets you through.

Thank you. I am sorry for your loss too. I have learned in this thread alone that I am fortunate to have only experienced this just once in my 35 years. Your story with others have comforted me and I can't thank you enough for that.

Originally posted by seeker1963
I am sorry for your loss............................I don't know what I would do if my cat (friend) died. He has taught me so much about who I am and who I should be.

I wouldn't get too upset with those telling you to get another, everyone deals with these type of things differently. I thing they mean well, but just don't understand, we all are not alike....

When I was a child, 39 years ago, we lost our dog do to and illness. I have never seen my father so distraught and to this day, he is totally adamant about EVER having another pet.

We all deal with things differently. Some people jump right back in feet first, others build a wall and will never allow that pain to happen to them again.

edit on 12-6-2012 by seeker1963 because: improper sentence

Thank you. I didn't hold it against them because I knew I was highly emotional and they probably just didn't know what to say or do. I don't think they would purposefully try to hurt either of us.

Your post reminded me... I was never really allowed to have pets growing up. Mom kind of never really liked them. She never wants one hurt or abused, but never thought they belonged inside. Dad just never talked about it. I always wondered why, until I read your post. Up until a few years ago he always carried an old B+W photo of a boxer in his wallet. I had asked him about it, but he just said it was a dog he had when he was younger. I am no thinking he may have lost his "childhood friend" and never wanted to try again afterwards. It makes sense on some level.

Your Dad sounds like an awesome guy, and I can completely understand not wanting to feel that kind of hurt again. We don't have a lot of choice about our regular family and know we will one day lose those, but I guess we can control getting "extended family" knowing that you have put yourself in a position to experience that loss all over again.

Thanks again for posting. It is good to not feel alone at times.

Originally posted by yourmaker
my grandparents bought a puppy and brought it home when I was born. her name was Mel-Lee.
I grew up with her until I was about 17 when she died.
that yorkshire terrier was my best friend every day growing up..
not only the smartest animal i've ever witnessed, but also the most compassionate and loving...
it's been like 4-5 years and I still feel it in the pit of my heart just thinking about it,
I have a couple pictures of her by my side, looking up at me.
there is absolutely no replacement. ever.

Oh geez... I am sorry. That's kind of like losing a sibling. Such a long time and growing together,,I can't imagine and wish sorry were enough.

I can certainly understand the replacement issue.I don't think anyone can replace something that was so cherished. I do hope that one day, maybe both of us can find another dog to share that extra love with though. Not as a replacement, but as a companion for the future roads we may travel.

reply to post by Libertygal


It's called Unconditional Love....

They love us whether we are rich or poor, fat or thin, bald or hairy, clean shaven or not, grouchy or happy, tall or short, male or female, black or white or Latino,etc. , smart or dumb. It doesn't matter if you live in a mansion or a mobile trailer or a tent, they love us unconditionally.

Just please feed me and give a rub and tummy scratch.

WOOF......MEOW !!!!

I feel for you & your daughter. I had to put my Scrappy down last July 1st, that date is fastley approaching and I am no better dealing with his passing than I was a year ago. I had that dog 16 years, the last two he spent in a wheel chair , as he had lost the use of his hind legs.

That ole dog helped me raise my kids, as I was a single parent for quite a few years. He was around for it all. The good times, the bad times, the lean times, the fat times. And he loved me unconditionally each and every one of those days.
I was told by my kids and wife and friends when his legs gave out " Put that old dog down" I said "He'll let me know when it's time" and he did, two years later. He sort of just let me know he was ready. I miss him, I miss him everyday. Old Scrappy was the only dog I have ever owned. I highly doubt if I will ever have another dog. As in you OP are correct. You can't re-place a member of your family.

If you do decide to get another dog, go to the pound and just let the dog pick you, you can't go wrong that way. I do have two pits but their simply for home protection, I have never gotten as close to them as that old weeny dog.
good luck in your decision.

Originally posted by openyourmind1262
I feel for you & your daughter. I had to put my Scrappy down last July 1st, that date is fastley approaching and I am no better dealing with his passing than I was a year ago. I had that dog 16 years, the last two he spent in a wheel chair , as he had lost the use of his hind legs.

That ole dog helped me raise my kids, as I was a single parent for quite a few years. He was around for it all. The good times, the bad times, the lean times, the fat times. And he loved me unconditionally each and every one of those days.
I was told by my kids and wife and friends when his legs gave out " Put that old dog down" I said "He'll let me know when it's time" and he did, two years later. He sort of just let me know he was ready. I miss him, I miss him everyday. Old Scrappy was the only dog I have ever owned. I highly doubt if I will ever have another dog. As in you OP are correct. You can't re-place a member of your family.

If you do decide to get another dog, go to the pound and just let the dog pick you, you can't go wrong that way. I do have two pits but their simply for home protection, I have never gotten as close to them as that old weeny dog.
good luck in your decision.

Scrappy definitely sounds like he was as besotted with you as you were with him. I know his breed is known to have back issues, thus the legs going out. Chihuahuas have something similar but is called pateller luxation. She had this as well and was unable to have surgery to help. People told us to put her down then. Like just because they are not perfect, they shouldn't be around. She couldn't run or jump and some days had a hard time walking, but she was happy. I had the same feeling as you though that day. She let me know she was ready. I am glad someone else knows what that is like, because most would not believe it.

I am sorry you lost him. It affects the whole family more than most (without animals) could even realize. And letting the next dog pick you, sounds about as good as it can get! Thank you.

reply to post by Kangaruex4Ewe


Yea when my dog lost the use of his hind legs, he would try to drag himself to where ever I and his buddy Fat Boy were. Fat Boy is a big black & white Manx cat I have. They were fast friends from the day I brought that cat home. Never seen anything like it before.

When his legs went out, I went online and looked at doggie wheelchairs. WOW was I shocked at the cost. A small one was close to $200. I , like most find $200 extra dollars hard to come by. So I built it myself, That old dog laid there and watch me build it, he knew it was for him. I would have to put him in and take him out to get it to fit right. But by the end of the day, I put him in it and he just took off!! Did'nt miss a beat,

I would take that dog for walks and that cat would be right there, each time. The cat was there when I buried him, and took it hard. To this day he'll go outside, make a lap past Scrappy's grave and then run and be Fat Boy.

I will probally never own another, house dog. I don't need one I have Fat Boy he's dog enough for me. The pits Pebbles & Bam Bam I bought them for home protection and their strickly out door dogs. I actually thought they would do me good, other than a feeling of security they have'nt, their not Scrappy. Good Luck