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Originally posted by ninepointfive
I feel like I need to add my two cents to this, since I've been through the court system and subsequent, "treatment" for a domestic violence charge. If you personally haven't gone through this system in the US, even if you know someone who has, then I don't think you have the awareness of how it works to form a complete and honest opinion of it. Because after all, these cases mostly exist of he-said, she-said.
Without disregarding situations of absolute and brutal violence which are serious matters, did you know you can be jailed for simply closing shut a cabinet door a little too hard, or raising your voice?
What I did landed me in jail. Which was restraining mom while she broke things in the house. She then started fighting me, which led to further altercation.
However, with that said - as a male, no one in the system cares about the abuse I suffered physically and emotionally for the year up to the point where the incident occurred. I've dealt with threats, entry doors broken down, house walls and property broken by things being thrown, forced entry, harassment, and all the while mom was taking overdoses of prescription drugs intermittently while pregnant.
Did you report the abuse you suffered before the incident involving your arrest? I mean, if the mother of a child is taking overdoses.. someone should be taking notice.
The system could care less about what I've said about any of it. But no matter what she says, it's taken as the complete truth. Had I not tried to live through the crazy hormonal pregnancy as advised by people I knew, she would have been landed in jail for child abuse for overdosing on prescription drugs while pregnant. In this case trusting the police to intervene in my personal life is something of a last item on my list. I just dealt with it silently which turned out to be a very bad idea.
Bingo. Answered my question. You didn't report any behavior. This is a mistake on your part.
So here I am with my first born child, kicked out of the home I lived in for 7 years, after she was there for a month - while I still pay rent for mom and her two other daughters, risking jail violating the mandatory restraining order to even see my newborn. All the while I'm still being threatened and harassed.
Just by sharing this online could put me in trouble, because I'm supposed to completely submit to the entire system, or I never get out of it. My record was clean before this, and clean after. Her's is chock full of criminal and civil history of drug abuse and indiscretions.
Sounds like you made a poor choice of person to give birth to your child.
It's damaged my reputation, my ability to be a father, and have been completely uprooted in life. I fear having to pay lots of money in child support, and not being able to see my daughter. No one cares but my family, and I'm glad I have them for support.
I would imagine getting mixed up with a criminal drug addicted single mother and deciding to have a baby with her has damaged your reputation even before this incident happened.
I wish the battle of the sexes would just go away, but I fear it will only get worse with the ever increasing power of the state, and the ever increasing laws, regulations, and litigation in court. It makes it almost impossible that there will ever be neutral ground. More of just an ever increasing war that's being waged in courts, under the threat of violence or jail carried out by the government.
I'm tired. I'm depressed. My only hope is that I can still be a father to my daughter, and move past this.edit on 28-6-2012 by ninepointfive because: (no reason given)
Family law sucks, hope it works out for you.