reply to post by PurpleChiten
I couldn't possibly self-diagnose, but I do "feel" that from what I've read, I may have been somewhere within the autism spectrum disorders as a
child. i've read enough to feel that certain aspects pertain to my behavior as a child and my socialization, manner of speech, how despite being
talkative I shut up in crowded or noisy environments, and, of course a sometimes serious demeanor when someone is not being serious.
I literally get frustrated when people tell me "I'm just joking" because it's like a broken record. I'm constantly asking myself after each time
a person makes such a comment what the hell I'm getting wrong in what they are saying to me and why it's such a big f-ing deal that I "took them
(too) seriously". Maybe I'm just more literal-minded, but it's not like metaphors and poetic language are lost on me and I'm actually pretty good
at making up puns and jokes and making people laugh on a whim.
At any rate, not to digress, I started thinking it might apply because I had read somewhere that many forms of aspergers/high functioning autism
manifest problems in the individual to empathize with the interlocutor...in other words, you want to tell the other person what's on your mind but
don't feel like talking about what's on theirs.
Hell. Nowadays I just feel like I don't want to talk about "what's on the other person's mind" because most of the time it's TOO
BORING...seriously, shoot me! I stopped going to bars and drinking regularly about a year ago. Not because I felt like the alcohol was getting to be
too much (I'm pretty moderate...had my moments, I'm sure)...anyway, I quit drinking regularly because people at bars are b-o-r-i-n-g...I got sick of
saying "uh-huh," "well, you know how it is...", "I know that's right..." "Really? I didn't know that" It was like preprogrammed responses on
a cell phone for instant text replies. I had to feign interest in idiotic ramblings and honestly, i should have been more of dick to people, at least
I would be true to what I was thinking instead of just thinking it on the inside and saying "uh huh. you don't say. ..." Example: I remember one
dude who would regularly tell me how obsessed he was with going to "New Amsterdam" because he wanted to smoke marijuana legally...After the 11th or
12th time he told me this I wanted to just grab him and shake him violently and say "It's JUST Amsterdam you idiot...unless you're going to take a
time machine back to New York in the 1600s...and smoke out with Peter Stuyvisent (or however you spell it)"
Then again, I think I probably share this attitude with many on ATS as we all lament discussing the trivial BS of the day...you know, Kim Kardashian,
the guy who did some stupid thing on the 7 o'clock news, the Obama-Romney race, a funny commercial for chewing gum, and other lame,
But in all seriousness, and considering the buffer of semi-anonymity that a site like this provides, I'll go out on a limb and state that I've
really been considering seeing a specialist to find out if I really am high functioning autistic and just went undiagnosed as a child. I feel like
many people "diagnosed" as gifted (and as one poster earlier on said, "cursed") are actually manifesting or honing positivistic aspects to their
non-mainstream psychological or social behavior. Nikola Tesla comes to mind.