posted on May, 30 2012 @ 07:28 AM
I was sleeping soundly in my little chiten coup last night, snuggled in and dreaming away when suddenly, out of nowhere, there was a LOUD BANG! I
startled from my sleep and lo and behold, THE SKY HAD FALLEN!!!! OMG!!!
I flew right op off my perch and got outside. A HUGE alien ship had passed through a black hole, leaving chemtrails behind, and crashed right there in
the barnyard!! You can imagine my surprise!!! Looking back, I realize that my spirit guide had awoken me as it always does when there is a major
prophecy about to unfold.
I watched as several grey aliens shuffled out of the craft dressed in US military uniforms, yet clearly not of this world. The angst was high and my
little chiten heart was pumping wildly. I quickly started channeling my spirit guides with a little bit of meditation, it’s much easier for me now
since I’ve had so much practice and dedication. As I watched with the help of my spirit guides (the ancient Mayan calendar maker, a pediatrician
from Hawaii, an Egyptian pharaoh, Albert Einstein, Bigfoot and Ronald Reagan), I saw it all unfold.
Military jets and helicopters quickly merged on the scene and even President Obama showed up!! I was pretty nervous by now and it was difficult to
stay calm and just watch instead of heading for the hills! I listened as they spoke of their trip, catching the time shift from HAARP and Cern’s
cooperative efforts had been tricky, but they were able to refuel at the sun and finish the trip. Then, to my surprise, Obama quickly hugged one of
the aliens saying “I’ve really missed you DAD!” I was ready to call the media and let them in on this as well as the GOP so they could use this
against him in the election when out of the darkness stepped none other than Dick Cheney and George Bush!!! I was prepared for an epic battle that
would tear apart the surface of the earth and reveal the inner earth itself where all the inhabitants would rush forth and join in the battle of
Armageddon! But then, Cheney walked over and hugged the same Alien!! OMG, what’s going on here?! He just said “Nice to see you again uncle
ZYLXMSARE” then they all started laughing and reminiscing about old family times.
Well, needless to say, if it hadn’t been for all my spirit guides, I would never have long since passed out from the mental instability caused by
all this. I mean seriously, any logical mind knows you’re not going to get a group of scientists from HAARP and CERN to work together on a venture
like this, IT’S A CONSPIRACY!!!
Just when I thought it couldn’t possibly get any stranger, a time portal opened and out walked Abraham Lincoln, King Tut, Pontius Pilate, and Bill
and Ted! WOW, curiouser and curiouser I’m telling you!! Bill and Ted asked if the plans had been made so I listened closely to try to find out what
the evil plan was. ZYLXMSARE piped in and said they were waiting for everyone else to show up. DANG, there were more coming??? It seemed like they
had enough there already! About that time, two guys showed up with jetpacks on, right out of the sky, dressed kind of like Iron man. They took off
their helmets and it was Mitt Romney and Donald Trump!!! They all shook hands and hugged like it was some big family reunion or something!
Well ZYLXMSARE pushed a button and this giant holographic image popped up (there were some previews showing stuff about R2D2, C3PO and then something
about a guy named Mr. Popper that had a bunch of penguin followers who were out to get Batman). It all played out right before our eyes, amazing,
absolutely amazing. My Mayan spirit guide translated for me as it progressed from when God created the world and set evolution into play (my spirit
guide Bigfoot piped in that he was that “missing link” but wasn’t allowed to tell the public at large) up through the calendar that was made.
It turned out Romney and Trump had traveled back in time and completely destroyed the entire Mayan civilization with laser pointers they had
developed. It was a gruesome sight and my Mayan guide weeped. My Egyptian guide had to step in as the hologram followed what we know of civilization
down through the ages, I sure am glad I hadn’t bothered paying attention in high school or it would have been a little boring.
They went through building the great wall of China with the help of the alien ships and the Egyptian pyramids all the way up to the trump tower. They
talked about how the tower was a spirit portal that was getting interference from the Twin towers and how they had to come down. Bush chuckled about
what a “great job I did with that”, it made me pretty mad. To my surprise, Cheney smacked him and said “shut up son, we’re not supposed to
talk about that, people aren’t ready to know yet and you don’t know who may be listening”. Bush sniveled and replied “sorry dad”. The
hologram finished playing out and they had to change the reel. In the meantime, ZYLXMSARE explained how they had been preparing for this Armageddon
for some time now and needed everyone’s cooperation. Pontius Pilate chimed in about how the last time they tried, everything went to hell in a
handbasket really quickly and it’s taken 2000 years to get it all aligned for another shot. They talked about how it’s taken this long to get the
brainwashing process complete and how they were almost foiled by George Orwell back in 84 with his expose’ on their intentions. Out of the shadows
stepped Jerry Fallwell, Oral Roberts, Bob Jones and Pat Robertson. They apologized that their cloud had some engine trouble but they were here now.
They gave their report on how they’ve turned all the churches against what that barefoot, longhaired, hippie peacenik convinced them of 2000 years
ago and things were going according to plan.
They got the second reel loaded and started with how the battle was going to be set up. About that time, a BIG earthquake shook the land all around us
and there was a giant chariot that flew down out of the sky! Nicola Tesla was driving, Jesus Christ was riding shotgun and Mother Teresa and Ghandi
were shooting glocks out the side window! They were followed by band after band of angels, benevolent aliens and the NEA. The bunch that had convened
earlier quickly jumped in their ships and took off in every direction. It was a total circus there, amazing. Lights were flashing, chemtrails were
streaming, black holes were popping in and out and it was hard to follow. It didn’t take long, less than a half hour for everything to clear out.
About that time, I saw Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith show up and flash some little lights around everywhere and then there was silence, just like
everything was back to “normal” here in the barnyard.
I had on my sunglasses so those little flashy lights didn’t affect me and I remember every bit of it. I went over to where it all took place and
looked around. There wasn’t much there other than a few crop circles, but with my ESP chiten senses, I caught a glimmer. I found this little square
box, about the size of a cell phone. It’s what ZYLXMSARE had used to show the hologram. I’ve been studying it all morning but can’t figure out
how to trigger it to show the holograms they were watching. Even my spirit guide Einstein tried to figure it out, but with no luck. If anyone has
worked with these before and have an idea of how to make it work, let me know and we can break this thing wide open!!