Girls & Cuddling/Holding/Snuggling

First off... I'm 24 years old, and I have been dating this girl (20 yo) for 6 months. I know her really well because she is so easy to understand (her expressions & her emotions).
We cuddle, we kiss but only when we are by ourselves (or at night) not infront of anyone (No PDA). Y? Because I don't like doing that in front of people.

She gets sad and mad if we don't cuddle while we are watching a movie!!! WHY?!!?! Why ?!! I just want to watch my movie!!!
Can't a man watch a movie without being bothered?!? Can't she just shut up, watch and enjoy the movie?!? Why do we have to cuddle?!? why do we have to kiss and not pay attention to a movie I PAID to watch!!!

Today I was laying in my couch watching a pretty good movie, and I told her... My stomach hurts, please just lay on the other couch. Guess what happened? She got sad and now she is out with her friends. I asked her why are u sad? I just told u my stomach hurts (it hurts so bad actually) and she made that sad expression and pointing with her face at the couch and me (the answer: because I wouldn't cuddle with her). So I snapped and called her stupid and how easy she manages to piss me off... anyways.. I blew her off.

At some point in my life I was like this, but I was 16!! Why are girls like this? I just dont understand, she does so many things that it pisses me off. Its like taking care of a kid. You tell that kid something and it doesn't pay attention and does it, then u tell the kid not to do it again.. and she does it again!! WHY?!!?!

Am I too old for her? or she not mature or retarded?! what is wrong with this girl!!!

Y does she have to get so sadden over the fact that i wouldn't cuddle with her or hold her? We always are cuddling!!! ALWAYS!!!
I love her but omg.. she pisses me off so quick, I have never been with a girl that would drive me this crazy mad like her.

Not all girls are like that! I for one detest cuddling, hate hate hate it! I much prefer to have my own space and nothing or no one touching me. I have been that way since I was little! I would have a talk with her and explain that it just isn't your thing and maybe just do it sometimes, not all the time so that it is fair for both of you, not just what she wants. The whole sad face thing is bull# manipulation and honestly if you can't work things out now it will only go downhill from here.

reply to post by MaMaa


I have told her about it, she just doesn't understand. I think the only reason she is still with me is because of the sex (can I say that word?).
I dont mind it, but I feel like a sex slave sometimes she's always horny, I'm always horny also, she wants it and I give it to her... like... she is not as kinky as I am, she never does anything!!!

You're not showing her enough affection. Not just the cuddling, but the whole fact that when she was mad you let her "go out with friends". Girls don't want you to let them leave. She could be doing it just to test you.

Once she feels like you care she will actually cut down aggressiveness annoyances, but chances are she is out considering other options as it is.

Originally posted by Osito
reply to post by MaMaa

 

I have told her about it, she just doesn't understand. I think the only reason she is still with me is because of the sex (can I say that word?).
I dont mind it, but I feel like a sex slave sometimes she's always horny, I'm always horny also, she wants it and I give it to her... like... she is not as kinky as I am, she never does anything!!!

Oh, buddy, my ass bleeds for ya. So annoying, those insatiable nymphos who like to cuddle.

Send her this way - I'll take that pain in the ass off your hands for ya.

By the way, you have a LOT of learning to do before you even consider getting married. Seriously, you should dump her now and find a nice lesbian friend who likes the same movies as you do to chill in your crib with you.

reply to post by Osito


When you get a little older you will understand, she is immature.

A wise man told me once, women are fickle.

Does not get simpler than that.

reply to post by MaMaa


Yep. As a female, I'm the same way. There are times when affection is nice, but all the time? Yuck. It's smothering.

The OP's girlfriend seems needy, clingy and constantly needs reassurance. That is incredibly draining for anybody to deal with. I couldn't never handle cling-ons.

To the OP: Your girlfriend and you are on different wavelengths. If she's going to pout every time she has to do something without you holding her hand, perhaps you may want to consider a more mature girl who can go for more than 10 minutes without being reassured and coddled.

Originally posted by AwakeinNM

Originally posted by Osito
reply to post by MaMaa

 

I have told her about it, she just doesn't understand. I think the only reason she is still with me is because of the sex (can I say that word?).
I dont mind it, but I feel like a sex slave sometimes she's always horny, I'm always horny also, she wants it and I give it to her... like... she is not as kinky as I am, she never does anything!!!

Oh, buddy, my ass bleeds for ya. So annoying, those insatiable nymphos who like to cuddle.

Send her this way - I'll take that pain in the ass off your hands for ya.

By the way, you have a LOT of learning to do before you even consider getting married. Seriously, you should dump her now and find a nice lesbian friend who likes the same movies as you do to chill in your crib with you.

I said the sex is great. What really gets me is that she doesn't do anything!!! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!! Like she has no experience, and she already has a kid btw...
It bothers me that I have to do all the move around, there is no excitement to it. She just lays there and takes it.

Originally posted by boncho
You're not showing her enough affection. Not just the cuddling, but the whole fact that when she was mad you let her "go out with friends". Girls don't want you to let them leave. She could be doing it just to test you.

Once she feels like you care she will actually cut down aggressiveness annoyances, but chances are she is out considering other options as it is.

I have shown her affection the first couple of months we were good, and then she did so many stupid things. I am a cuddly man... but I have a boiling point, like I have a line were I cant cuddle much. I like to have my own time also, which I do but come on!! Can't she just enjoy the movie? We have sex 8-12 times a week, my friend down here needs a rest sometimes too.

Originally posted by FissionSurplus
reply to post by MaMaa

 

Yep. As a female, I'm the same way. There are times when affection is nice, but all the time? Yuck. It's smothering.

The OP's girlfriend seems needy, clingy and constantly needs reassurance. That is incredibly draining for anybody to deal with. I couldn't never handle cling-ons.

To the OP: Your girlfriend and you are on different wavelengths. If she's going to pout every time she has to do something without you holding her hand, perhaps you may want to consider a more mature girl who can go for more than 10 minutes without being reassured and coddled.

Thank you! My guess is that she just wants attention, because when she doens't have my attention she is on FB MAD, she is always mad if I dont give her attention, she is always grabbing me to hold her or kissing me... it bothers me!!

And then... she textes my friends, too see what is going on tonite or things like that, and of course my friends already know her for attention seeker and dramatic crazy queen, so they don't answer back unless for the really nerdy looking or weird guys that get no woman or have had no woman in their life. Which I dont mind cus I know she doesn't even like them and I know she wouldn't do anything with anyone, she always comes back to me.

Man, you've got allot to learn about not only women, but yourself.

(Most women abide that) Cuddling and intimacy are the answer, period. If you cant accept that, then you really ought to re-think about having a relationship with this woman, period. Its not always about putting your nether regions together for good vibes. Theres far more to it all than just that. Yes there are women who feel that way, but there arent many, and if they are that way, its something that happened at some point or another to facilitate such behavior. Underneath it all humans are affectionate. If we werent, there world would be a far worse place than it can already be. This behavior will NEVER be grown out of..... Your either are or are not this way. That simple.


Trust me on this, ive been around the block far more times than you and i could count.

Either evolve and move along with the punches for someone who is warm, nurturing and enduring... or find another partner who beleives colder is better... ive been there many times, and the answer is just that obvious.

In ten years you'll be complaining that she never wants to cuddle or even touch you.

Better get all the cuddles in you can at the cuddling stage.

reply to post by Osito


Your relationship with her is already on the skids. I hate to admit it, but I was very hesitant to cuddle with my wife after while because she always expected it to lead to sex when sometimes I just wanted to cuddle while watching a movie. Bad call on my part. We have two little kids and we're separated. I am doing everything I can to save our marriage. You do NOT want to be where I am right now. Your problems are minor, believe me.

You have a lot of learning to do. She is teaching you, not the other way around. Pay attention.

Originally posted by boncho
You're not showing her enough affection. Not just the cuddling, but the whole fact that when she was mad you let her "go out with friends". Girls don't want you to let them leave. She could be doing it just to test you.

Once she feels like you care she will actually cut down aggressiveness annoyances, but chances are she is out considering other options as it is.

I'm sorry, I mean no disrespect, but that is the most ignorant thing I have heard in a while. Not only is such a thing not true, it sets a relationship up for power control issues. Most women (I say most because there are some messed up ones out there) do NOT want to be controlled or think a man has the power to make her stay or go anywhere.

So your in it for the sex, either deal with her immaturity and enjoy using each other or man up and get someone better.

Just thought Id throw a tid bit out there concerning women and intimacy or cuddling. Women as young girls are hugged alot more then boys, and can tell alot about a man that she is hugging, more then sex or words can actually say, its sort of like a lie detector test.

Just my 2 cents. Peace, NRE.

reply to post by Osito

I have shown her affection the first couple of months we were good, and then she did so many stupid things. I am a cuddly man... but I have a boiling point, like I have a line were I cant cuddle much. I like to have my own time also, which I do but come on!! Can't she just enjoy the movie? We have sex 8-12 times a week, my friend down here needs a rest sometimes too.

Most people don't know what affection even is:

Affection or fondness is a "disposition or rare state of mind or body"[1] that is often associated with a feeling or type of love.

Link

My last girlfriend liked it when I caught her lying. She believed I was the only one in the world that knew what she was thinking. She used to pull the cuddly stuff sometimes if I wasn't paying attention to her, but it wasn't because she wanted to cuddle.

She wanted me to bring up what was bothering her.

Women are strange creatures. Good luck.

Originally posted by MaMaa

Originally posted by boncho
You're not showing her enough affection. Not just the cuddling, but the whole fact that when she was mad you let her "go out with friends". Girls don't want you to let them leave. She could be doing it just to test you.

Once she feels like you care she will actually cut down aggressiveness annoyances, but chances are she is out considering other options as it is.

I'm sorry, I mean no disrespect, but that is the most ignorant thing I have heard in a while. Not only is such a thing not true, it sets a relationship up for power control issues. Most women (I say most because there are some messed up ones out there) do NOT want to be controlled or think a man has the power to make her stay or go anywhere.

Who said it is just the women who want that?

It is very easy giving up. Getting upset and walking out the door. People want to have a relationship where they always go back to the other person.

That's not a control issue. Both parties can help maintain or destroy a relationship. But there is no free will. You are a collective or you are in a superficial relationship.

reply to post by MaMaa

Most women (I say most because there are some messed up ones out there) do NOT want to be controlled or think a man has the power to make her stay or go anywhere.

By the way, who said it would be the man controlling the situation if he had gotten her to stay. Oh right, we must be on the wavelength that all women are innocent and never lie or manipulate.

It really sounds like maturity issues with both of you.
I am not coming down on you OP, just saying.

A subtle power struggle between space and needs, both of which are slightly out of whack.
IMO.