It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.

 

Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.

 

How Do You Stop a Bully?

page: 7
13
<< 4  5  6    8  9  10 >>

log in

join
share:

posted on May, 27 2012 @ 11:02 AM
link   

Originally posted by popsmayhem

Originally posted by Turq1
reply to post by MonteroReal
 


Yeah well our bullies are some of the world's finest. Just look at the prison population.

And they're fat....comparatively speaking.


edit on 5/27/2012 by Turq1 because: (no reason given)


comparatively speaking to what complete bull crap?

All the guys in prison i know get huge but
not in a fat sense in a, there is nothing
to do but workout, and the bigger you are
the tougher you look.


And this thread is about what again?

Bullies wouldn't be that much of a problem but those they titillate are orthodox.




posted on May, 27 2012 @ 11:29 AM
link   

Originally posted by survivaloftheslickest
Hello ATS,

There is an increase in bullying behavior, it would seem. Part of the problem undoubtedly stems from difficult times around us, but bullying was always there.

We seem to focus a lot on individual cases, etc., as there are many dimensions to this: be it child, or an adult, the same phenomenon under different names.

Detecting a bully is rather easy, if not patently obvious. Some would claim they are psychopaths, some would say they are lost souls, some would claim that bullies are victims themselves.

The question remains: how do you stop a bully?

What do you think?

Cheers!


A righteous ass whoopin' usually straightens a bully right out. Reasoning doesn't work. Same advice applies to adults and children.



posted on May, 27 2012 @ 11:49 AM
link   
reply to post by survivaloftheslickest
 


A firm punch in the chest from an authoritative male figure, or the bully's father, would do the trick.

If my child every bullies another, lets just say, i may become the bully. I think the best way to make a bully stop bullying, is to treat them the way they treat others, like #, less than human. Only until they realize that what they are doing is horrible, and needs to change.


Or theres the old alternative. The Belt



posted on May, 27 2012 @ 11:50 AM
link   

Originally posted by The Old American
Overwhelming and unequal force. If a bully pushes you, punch them. If they punch you, break something. That's the only thing they understand. But it stops them cold.

/TOA


QFTMFT.
2nd line



posted on May, 27 2012 @ 12:23 PM
link   
Great topic.

One of the most effective ways to contain bullies relies less on dealing with the bully than on challenging the bystanders. The Bystander Effect gives bullies a feeling of power and encouragement, while even minor engagement of the bystanders' disapproval has a profound effect.

Bullying is REWARDING.



The more bystanders there are the less likely it is that anyone will step forward to help. This is an interesting concept when you think to extend this into nations' worth of peoples. There is a very good book about this effect in war/conflict regions focusing on children and teens being forced into being soldiers. The name escapes me, but the point is that this effect isn't just between small groups on the playground.

"Mind your own business" is a concept in cultures, laws and religions. Someone being bullied, or being a bully is not your business unless you are the bully or the bullied and you are encouraged to not make it your business.

Before we all get all high and mighty about this though, we should know that the brains of bullies and the bullied are rocking the same social problems. While people tend to think that the bullied are socially challenged, the brains of bullies and the bullied are very similar only bullies are short on problem-solving skills. Which begs the question, would teaching social problem solving skills be a good skill set to put into schooling?

How many problems in education settings could be solved by the early introduction of social skills and social problem solving for children? On teaching children to challenge their tendency to be bystanders. Parents will scream about it of course as brainwashing, but the early introduction of social skills problem solving could also be seen a being a way of introducing simple easy to grasp critical thinking skills.

Links to the Dare to Care program video, aimed at children and parents:
vimeo.com...

www.ethnopolitics.org...
greatergood.berkeley.edu...
edit on 27-5-2012 by SibylofErythrae because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 27 2012 @ 12:27 PM
link   
You beat him with your fists, pound like a hammer.
If that dont work, you come back with a stick.
If that dont work, you come back with a metal pole.
If that still dont work, there's always a brick to lob.
The last resort is following the bully home and beating him right out of his house, that will send a message saying "I know where you live and the nights are dark."

But I'm not advocating violence.
Remember to go through all the proper procedures, like telling your parents and teachers.
But if they can't solve the problem, use the advice given at the top of this post.



posted on May, 27 2012 @ 12:36 PM
link   
Well, I will admit I didn't read every page of this, so I apologize in advance if I am reiterating remarks that others have already said.

How to stop bullying: parenting lessons. Both for the bully's and the victim's parents.

Teach our children not to be a-holes (is that an okay version of the word?) and they won't be. Give our children discipline and structure AND kindness.
Instill our children with self-confidence and tools for coping with bullying (be it fighting back, walking away, whatever).

Bully's, I would guess, are probably a product of their environment, so that seems to say that some kind of intervention should occur. Find out what's going on in the kid's home life, maybe he is a victim himself. It's likely a cycle that will continue, unless SOMEONE takes efforts to get involved and get to the root of the problem.

The victims of bullying, I'm sad to say, need to learn quick and fast that life is full of crud. In some ways, I want to say, "suck it up kid, and do what you have to do to make it stop".

Someone mentioned the Bystander Effect, which is a concept I've always found interesting. If only we could turn all people into kind individuals instead of having a majority of the population being nasty little jerks, or cowards who won't trouble themselves to intervene in a terrible situation.

Basically, I blame parenting (or lack thereof) and environmental factors. Kids are in such a developmental stage that that need for acceptance overrides any thought about others. They are self-absorbed, and that's just part of their psychology. I try to avoid being a pessimist, but I don't think there is any "stopping" bullying. Instead, focus on teaching kids to cope, and teach adults how to step up and do the right thing.



posted on May, 27 2012 @ 12:40 PM
link   
reply to post by MonteroReal
 


I think the point here is that in schools in America, under the care of the State, "bullies" (who are humans like anyone else) are being labeled maniacs, therefore giving cause to medicate them.
edit on 27-5-2012 by rainbowbear because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 27 2012 @ 12:55 PM
link   
I like how most bullying scenes stop when the victim fights and wins.

I like it even more when children's TV shows tell children to NOT stand up to bullies and just run to the nearest administrator for help when nothing will acually be done.

Maybe the bully will get a lecture in the office, but the bully will find out who ratted them out and harass that person even harder.

In a particular elective in my schedule I hear a bully just talk and talk about multiple girls that happen to excel in school and don't sneak out to do drugs or spend time with their boyfriend/girlfriend (I sit at his table and only talk when I need to).

He's also never gotten in a fight. I was so annoyed, I almost went over to beat him up. (He would acually talk about how many times he was called down to the office for racial comments)

This bully looks like he hasn't worked out a day in his life, and needs to be beaten down. I just don't want the OSS put on my school record.

edit on 27/5/12 by Philosorapter because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 27 2012 @ 12:56 PM
link   
Flying Testical kicks lol



posted on May, 27 2012 @ 12:59 PM
link   

Originally posted by davidtheriault
Flying Testical kicks lol
like liu kang but to the balls lol



posted on May, 27 2012 @ 01:03 PM
link   
You stop a bully by being a better parent and not allowing it to happen in the first place. A bully has certain behaviors that first show up in how they treat even their own siblings or other kids their own age. If you are attentive enough of a parent then you will see these behaviors and put a stop to it early!



posted on May, 27 2012 @ 01:31 PM
link   
reply to post by Xcellante
 


EPIC! A star for you my friend. Most of us here in the USA would love to do that but it would mean:

1. Child expelled permanently - zero tolerance crap, the mere mention of violence can get you canned but somehow not the bullies.
2. You get arrested
3. a Civil Suit for "pain and suffering"
The Pussification of America.

Bullies are raised at home thumping the Dad was spot on! My Mom always said to ignore the bullies, they will get bored and move on. WRONG, my brother who is a Viet Nam vet told me if I didn't stand up for myself I'd have to deal with him. The first time i punched my tormentor he started crying and ran off. Bullies are cowards that feed on weakness.



posted on May, 27 2012 @ 01:48 PM
link   

Originally posted by Dr Cosma
You beat him with your fists, pound like a hammer.
If that dont work, you come back with a stick.
If that dont work, you come back with a metal pole.
If that still dont work, there's always a brick to lob.
The last resort is following the bully home and beating him right out of his house, that will send a message saying "I know where you live and the nights are dark."

But I'm not advocating violence.
Remember to go through all the proper procedures, like telling your parents and teachers.
But if they can't solve the problem, use the advice given at the top of this post.



Agreed. For some reason, your post made me think of a scene in the last "star trek" movie. Spock was getting bullied as a child until he had had enough and beat the living # out of the offender. Hilarious scene.



posted on May, 27 2012 @ 03:03 PM
link   

Originally posted by survivaloftheslickest
Hello ATS,

There is an increase in bullying behavior, it would seem. Part of the problem undoubtedly stems from difficult times around us, but bullying was always there.

We seem to focus a lot on individual cases, etc., as there are many dimensions to this: be it child, or an adult, the same phenomenon under different names.

Detecting a bully is rather easy, if not patently obvious. Some would claim they are psychopaths, some would say they are lost souls, some would claim that bullies are victims themselves.

The question remains: how do you stop a bully?

What do you think?

Cheers!



Bully's NEED victims. If these so called victims would grow up and handle the situation properly the bully would have no one to Bully. Bullys always back down when faced with equal or higher aggression. Aggression works against bullies...and cops who are on their own. Oh they are the same cops / bullies.

Either that or you smash his/her face into tiny pieces with 11 well placed shots to the various skeletal structures of the skull and face with a metal bar and then visit the bullies parents with the corpse dragging behind you....for shock value. (or not)
edit on 27-5-2012 by Six6Six because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 27 2012 @ 03:18 PM
link   
Glock works pretty good. Smith & Wesson is o.k. But a sure show stopper is Kermit the Frog, as in a weighted with rolls of quarters Kermit and a good sound smack upside the head.



posted on May, 27 2012 @ 03:30 PM
link   
I was popular in high school, I didn't get bullied.

The reason I was popular was because I was a big, 6'3" 295lb starting offensive tackle and a pretty funny guy. I don't mean I told good jokes, I mean I was quick on my feet. I totally told good jokes too. People did try to make fun of me but I was generally smarter than they were, I ended it with something better than they threw at me. It was easy.

I do remember several times stopping kids from picking on other kids.

My senior year a new kid showed up about a third of the way through the year. His name was Tim, he liked to go by Timmy. I had some biology class with him and this kid named James. James was a dick. Nobody liked James, if I had to guess I'd say James was probably abused at home, which was probably a farm. Which in hindsight makes me wish I would have done more to help James, but with the wisdom of a 17 year old I didn't. Anyway our teacher had long reached tenure and shortly thereafter stopped caring so for the last 15 minutes of every class he gave us a time to study, and we used this time to cheat on pre calc and gossip... at least I did. On Timmy's second day in class, James started asking questions about his sexuality. Timmy denied that he was gay (he denied very poorly lol) and james kept it up calling him a f@g, after I saw that Timmy was in no way equipped to deflect James I stepped in. I don't remember everything I said to James but the line that turned the redneck well... red was "What's it matter if he is gay? Are you looking for a prom date?" Timmy laughed, and if I wouldn't have been 2X james' size he probably would have hit me. Timmy didn't finish the school year at our school but I'm still friends with him to this day.

This story I don't remember at all, it has been relayed to me by the girl I helped. She was a freshmen, I a sophomore. She had been home-schooled until that year, she was a little awkward but a sweet girl, her name was Laura. The bully in this case was a fat girl named Jessica. I don't remember what she said to Laura, but she burst into tears. And after Laura started crying, Jessica didn't stop. Apparently I had heard enough and went on a five minute tirade about how Jessica's thong/back fat hung out of the back of her pants everyday scaring me for the rest of my life and continuing to tell her that nobody cared what she had to say. Laura and I dated her senior year, the year she also won a local beauty pageant (I'm not bragging, but hey she was hot.).

It's something I always did, I don't really know why. I tried to befriend all the kids who didn't have many, most of them I'll still talk to when I see them now. It's nice knowing that even if high school was a crappy time for them at least I didn't contribute.



posted on May, 27 2012 @ 04:46 PM
link   
Bullying is about power and control.

If you take away the power then they have no control.

Bulling is assault. Assault is a verbal action, battery is a physical action. If you are being assaulted you do have the right and it should be expected that you defend yourself.

I am the mother of 5 children. 3 boys (18, 11 and 8 years old) and 2 girls (15 and 3 years old). My children have been taught that you stand up for yourself and your friends. You should always stand up for what is right and what you believe in.

Standing up for yourself empowers children. First of all, they have to think for themselves. What is going on? What is the best way to find the best solution?

When children are taught that they are powerless that is when they crack and go crazy.

For some reason it is now PC to squeal and whine about being bullied, instead of just stopping it. Children are not PC (thank goodness). Children are being taught to report it and just hunker down. No way! They should be taught, by their parents all of the ways to deal with it.

Bullies by nature, are cowards. Most of the time there is no need for violence. Usually a verbal put in place is all that is required. But, if my children felt that a beat down was required then I've got their back. In my youth if there was a need for a beat down, it usually one punch, that's it. Bully gone.

By law, the school has a legal, should be moral, but a legal obligation to provide a "safe learning" environment for ALL children. Most bullies are known to the staff. Most of the time, the staff has no idea what to do. I don't believe it is not a caring thing. I think they could be sued for saying punch that fool. Zero tolerance my foot. Zero tolerance for the children who stand up for themselves. Keeps them in line. Keeps the fear going. Makes normally sane kids crazy with fear. Not acceptable.



posted on May, 27 2012 @ 05:10 PM
link   
I'll tell ya, this issue is sticky for me. Once, in the 5th grade, this white kid called me a 'n-word'. I punched him, we fought. I got a 5 day suspension and psychiatric counseling, the other kid walked. I learned right there the societal penalty of standing up for yourself(with an added racial wrinkle) and that lesson served me poorly, because it made me less inclined to stand up for myself going forward. I was bullied all the time after that, afraid to fight back. Carried that into adulthood too. Not fighting back will destroy your life. You have to learn to stand your ground, and especially when you're young, you need someone to support that. Not punish you for doing the right thing. Only now am I finding my way back to having the fire I had before that fight, before the cycle of bullying #ed up my psyche.



posted on May, 27 2012 @ 05:15 PM
link   
reply to post by survivaloftheslickest
 


Well, a few knuckle sandwiches might help. The only thing bullies listen to is force. They rarely listen to reason, so there goes interventions and so called "bully awareness" campaigns. Yes, I'm sure the person getting a wet willy or a swirly is VERY aware that bullies exist. Now of course there will be those well meaning folks channeling their inner Ghandi with "An eye for an eye, makes the whole world blind." While I do agree violence or more accurately, controlled violence isn't the solution to every problem, there will ALWAYS remain some issues in which require force on force. If there were two people left alive in the universe, you would have 7 different opinions and some may lead the last two people to conflict. It's the natural order of things for humanity.

Anyways, (Sorry, went off on a tangent) I'm sure that not all bullies stay bullies, but the damage is done to those picked on, and all the bully learns is that might makes right. So what to do with them? Most of the time interventions are a pathetic joke and does nothing but make the bully more cunning next time he gives a wedgie or two. And law enforcement might be too much for that young age. So what remains? Generally there seems to be a ratio of bully to non bully. Generally I would assume that they (Bullies) are outnumbered by the non bullies. So gang up on them using numbers AND smarts. Might makes right to them, so prove them wrong by using intelligence AND numbers to make them eat their words. The only reason why bullies keep doing what they do is because most are afraid to confront them.

So ask you this: If the 300 Spartans and assorted men decided NOT to stand up to the Persians because they were afraid or didn't want to risk defeat, where would the world be now? History is chock full of this kind of lesson. What side are you on? "The only thing needed for evil to flourish is for good men (AND women) to do nothing."



new topics

top topics



 
13
<< 4  5  6    8  9  10 >>

log in

join