How Do You Stop a Bully?

the only way to fight fire is with fire.

reply to post by survivaloftheslickest


Guns? Stun guns? Masked vigilantes dragging the bullies out in the middle of the night and beating the crap out of them? I know, I know, how uncivilized, right? Well, you asked.

Originally posted by survivaloftheslickest

The question remains: how do you stop a bully?

In grade school, I was a victim of a bully. Then one day, just lunged out, and by total accident, mind you, broke his nose. He bleed, he cried, he never bullied anyone again (and that was his thing, until that fateful day).

I'm not saying that physical violence is the answer..infact, you lower yourself the moment you become anything like them...But I found most bullies in my life, only understand what they're doing, once you make them wear the shoe. Does that make sense?

For myself as a kid, standing up and fighting back led to one thing only - being hurt harder and with greater consequences. The bullies in my life weren't the kind that you could beat up and make them go away, they tended to be the kind that if you dared stand up it was the excuse needed to escalate violence and social isolation. As I was young and insecure in my own power, it was quite frightening. So, fighting back physically doesn't always work.

A point about violence in school where I live. It is important to note that one kid punching out another kid, however justified they feel due to being bullied, is going to end up with the 'victim' being seen as an aggressor. If the bully plays it right, the victim has a bright shiny new expulsion on their record. There is a very strong anti-bully campaign in the schools here, however, and zero-tolerance from teachers/admin towards bullying behavior. It is a good thing, and nips the bad behaviors in the bud before kids become "permanent victims" that everyone feels okay about picking on. Anti-bullying policies give teachers backing from admin, and both greater power and clear guidelines to follow when they witness bullying.

People struggle with power issues. Bullying is an abusive "power over" move - power over others, usually using weapons of fear, violence, social isolation, emotional or verbal abuse. A bully wants to show you an image of yourself as a weak, worthless victim that deserves to be hurt because you are so obviously not good enough. If you are insecure in yourself (and who isn't at some point?) you can take on that image for yourself, which is one of the most destructive effects of bullying that can last a lifetime; believing the bully. If, on the other hand, the image the bully puts up is false to you and you can act accordingly, then you are not a victim. That is the foundation of "standing up for yourself," and doesn't have to include violence in response to violence. A look at the US civil rights movement (MLK) and Ghandi's non-violent ability to stand up to the forces of Empire provides, I think, an interesting model for the concept of not buying into what the bully wants you to believe, and handling it with the sheer determination of someone who will not be put down.

Lol, really, sometimes i think the US is the only country in the world that have a problem/obsession with bullies, is kind of funny.

"Mommyyyyy, there is a bad kid in the school hitting me".

For god sake grow a pair and i don't know, go to bomb some country or proclaim your moral superiority to all the world, that is what you gringos are supposed to do, not crying because of the evil kids in school.

Originally posted by Sinny
Depends if you've got brains or brawn....

I have both

...

I was always taught a good punch soon shuts em up, but if that's not your style, use your brains, pick up on their insecurities, and a quick silver tounge to hurt them deep inside.