reply to post by survivaloftheslickest
Depends on the situation.
If it's a child, he/she SHOULD BE able to report it to the teacher and have it stopped. But teachers usually don't care because they are not paid
enough or simply don't care.
Some teachers bully and ostracize a child themselves because the child is a "problem" (ADHD, etc) and adds to their workload.
If you are an adult and earning close to $50,000 a year like I was for over a decade under a really tyrannical boss, there isn't much you can do about
it other than switch to another department (most managers and top people in my company were bullies, that was that company's management style) or
switch to another company.
With our boss (my job was outsourced almost two years ago.............
The best way I handled her was to keep my head down, my mouth shut and
do exactly what I was told.
This particular person was prejudice against white people, as she was Hispanic and favored Hispanic and Blacks. Now many people will say this is a
prejudice statement. I can only add that if you were Black or Hispanic you could talk on the phone with your friends for hours, bring in your own lap
top, wear sneakers, or break "the many rules" here and there.
I am White and was made to follow the "letter of the law" exactly every single minute of every single day with no questions asked. In my opinion and
that of three other previous employees that were White, yes this woman was clearly prejudice against White people. But proving it, would take, time,
money, a good lawyer, years and having the three people agree to testify which two said they wouldn't.
People say, oh go to HR...A big joke. Our HR Department's sent reply was "Talk with your manager or the boss you are having problems with". In
short, "We don't want to become involved."
Again, I can only give you my own experience and with the company I worked under for 16 years. The last ten years were a living hell as this last
"Director" was a real bully. She looked for problems. And I walked a straight line.
No reading e-books at lunch on a company PC
You could not bring in your own lap top to read a e-book on your lunch hour
No wallpaper on your PC but the company logo
I had to surf the net for State Forms, but a monthly report was printed out on each and every site I went to and if any site was not "state related" I
was questioned about it.
For those of you posting on ATS during company time on a company PC, you are very lucky......I could never have gotten away with that.
If you went to the bathroom to many times or took longer than 4 minutes she made a comment
You were encouraged not to talk with fellow employees at all, she wanted everyone to go through her.
No animal hair on your clothes, heaven forbid if your dog rubbed against you to tell you good bye, I always kept a lint brush in my desk.
Shoes had to always be polished
No jeans ever
No tennis shoes or sneakers
No tee shirts
(Note I did reports and only once in my last ten years under this lady ever have a client meet us for a prearranged lunch).
She picked apart anything and everything she could from e-mails to looking for problems where there weren't any to justify her $110,000 year job.
The more I tried to please her the harder she would try to find something to pick apart.
It took "Team India" about a year to learn my job function
I still nightmare about this lady unless I take 1/2 Valium at night.
All of my reviews were "exceeds expectations" and yes we were rated on accuracy for our reports.
My accuracy rate was 98% because I always stayed late and double checked every single figure.
You do what you can do.
If you are a older woman with only two years of college (no degree) your options are limited.
I will say one thing.
The day I left her and my manager cried and I left on good terms because I kept my mouth shut, was pleasant and never challenged her.
Now you have to know the psychology of your bully.
With my last boss, if she even thought you were going to challenge her, you were gone and I mean gone fast.
With OT I usually made close to $50,000 a year.
When I was leaving they asked me if I would remain part time during their busy period and I told them no thank you.
Because my last boss was so brutal, she was really a psychological bully, at this point, I would rather go homeless than have to go back to working
under such a jerk.
Keep in mind with a boss, they have the company behind them - companies all have the very best lawyers and trying to prove psychological abuse is next
Some good books to get that might help you are:
* Surviving Your Boss by Ann D. Clark, PH.D., and Patt Perkins
* Bully In Sight, How to predict, resist, challenge and combat workplace bullying by Tim Field
* Dealing With People You Can't Stand by Dr. Rick Brinkman & Dr. Rick Kirschner
* Mobbing Emotional Abuse in the American Workplace.
With our boss, she always had to have a whipping person.
Case in point, we had a really young, handsome Cuban man that would go missing from his desk for a hour at a time, she didn't seem to notice until a
e-mail was brought to her attention he was having sex on the stairwell.
This boss placed his desk where she could not watch him come and go.
Me, who never left my desk except to go to the bathroom about three times in 9 hours was placed directly in her line of view and each time I stood up
to leave she would make sure I knew she was watching me.
Personally with this type of narcissist psychopath, I found the best way to handle her was the Asian way of "least resistance".............to remain
quiet, let her think she was in complete control and just do my work as best as I could.
Bullying is a real issue.
But, usually the ones that bully are the incompetent ones that need to make themself look good by discrediting others, it's a game politicians use
The ones that do the real work, are so busy doing the real work, they don't have time for the "head games".
I'm not a manipulative person, I'm a straight forward, hard working and try to get along person.
In the work place a lot of people will say "Oh sure take em on, don't let them bully you.....blah blah blah"
Well, jobs, good paying jobs are getting harder and harder to find. Sometimes you have to put up with a certain amount of bs.
I don't miss office politics and am glad, even though I have less money, I am happy I do not have to deal with that group of back stabbers any
I actually wake up each morning and the first thought that comes into my head is "Thank God, I don't have to go to that hell hole ever again."
Now, my husband works for a public service company that is partially government funded and although he is a boss, he is held accountable for his time
and treatment of everyone. Unlike a private company where bosses can do whatever they please as long as the "big boys" profit.
Again, everyone out there will have their own opinion based on their own experience.
When I worked for other companies it was a totally different story but that was years ago when bullying wasn't as prevalent.
Now that I am free, I will never allow myself to be bullied again.
That is why everyone wants to be rich, aside from being able to buy nice stuff.
With money you can dictate whom you deal with and whom you don't have to deal with.
Now, I have really nice neighbors, a nice mail person, nice sanitation pick up people, everyone I deal with is a pleasant experience, very rarely do I
have to ever deal with a nasty person.
I'm lucky my husband makes enough that I no longer have to deal with "Snakes in Suits" (another good book.)
edit on 26-5-2012 by ofhumandescent because: (no reason given)