7-year-old's suicide shocks Detroit community

reply to post by getreadyalready


Star upon ya, that's how we handled things when I was young.
Bloody nose and hurt feelings but much knowledge gained and best of all, no death!
Just like one of the above posters said about let em do what they do.
Pecking order and all.

Originally posted by AnIntellectualRedneck
Personally, I think the easiest way that we can stop bullying is by stopping the criminalization of kids who stand up to the bullies.

Kids these days have drilled into them that the only option is going to an authority figure. We do this, and then we wonder why we have so many people dependent upon the government.

Well, I want my child to come to me if she is ever bullied, and I will help her deal with it. The bullies will have to deal with both of us, and I have no problem beating the crap out of them. That's something I don't understand. The mother knew her boy was being bullied - why didn't she deal with the bullies? I would have. I would do anything for my daughter, including jail time for dismembering the bullies.

Originally posted by kaylaluv

Originally posted by AnIntellectualRedneck
Personally, I think the easiest way that we can stop bullying is by stopping the criminalization of kids who stand up to the bullies.

Kids these days have drilled into them that the only option is going to an authority figure. We do this, and then we wonder why we have so many people dependent upon the government.

Well, I want my child to come to me if she is ever bullied, and I will help her deal with it. The bullies will have to deal with both of us, and I have no problem beating the crap out of them. That's something I don't understand. The mother knew her boy was being bullied - why didn't she deal with the bullies? I would have. I would do anything for my daughter, including jail time for dismembering the bullies.

You look very familiar/ Are you friends with a girl named jackie>? her sis is christine

Originally posted by g146541
reply to post by getreadyalready

 

Star upon ya, that's how we handled things when I was young.
Bloody nose and hurt feelings but much knowledge gained and best of all, no death!
Just like one of the above posters said about let em do what they do.
Pecking order and all.

Nowadays, the schools punish any retaliatory actions. It's anti-human in it's precipice

reply to post by kaylaluv


Good Momma!

I have to admit, female bullying is a lot harder thing to deal with. It is emotional instead of physical. Beating someone up might help, but it might just make it worse. I'm glad I have boys, because their problems are simple.

Basing my opinions off my wife and girlfriends and in-laws, I think the only way to combat the emotional bullying that happens to girls, is to make sure the girls have a great support system at home, and that they develop a self-worth that is based internally and not externally. Make sure they have other groups they associate with outside of school, so even if they don't fit in well in one clique, they have other cliques where they feel accepted and appreciated. Make sure you are honest with them and let them know that some things just suck. No way around it, that's life, we all have it, and we just get through it and enjoy the good times.

Man I'm glad I didn't have any girls.

Originally posted by HamrHeed

Originally posted by g146541
reply to post by getreadyalready

 

Star upon ya, that's how we handled things when I was young.
Bloody nose and hurt feelings but much knowledge gained and best of all, no death!
Just like one of the above posters said about let em do what they do.
Pecking order and all.

Nowadays, the schools punish any retaliatory actions. It's anti-human in it's precipice

Some schools do that. And, even if they do, its still worth it. In my story, the teacher chose to make them both sit out a recess. Even thogh the teacher and I both knew we approved of the retaliation, it was also important to learn sometimes even the right action has negative consequences.

If my son gets to Jr High or High School, and he has to stand up for himself or a friend of his, and he has to get suspended, so be it. I know he will act appropriately for the situation, and so I won't be mad at him, and if his actions have consequences, that is just life. You follow your own moral compass regardless of the repercussions.

Now, if the police get involved, that is a different story. There will be hell to pay if some idiot ever calls the police on my kid for defending their self or just acting like a kid. Even if he really is doing something wrong, like flipping a bra strap, he deserves to be in trouble, but does not deserve to be charged with a crime. Some of the things I see happening in schools are obviously over the top, but I think we are lucky to have some pretty good schools where I live.

Originally posted by HamrHeed

Originally posted by kaylaluv

Originally posted by AnIntellectualRedneck
Personally, I think the easiest way that we can stop bullying is by stopping the criminalization of kids who stand up to the bullies.

Kids these days have drilled into them that the only option is going to an authority figure. We do this, and then we wonder why we have so many people dependent upon the government.

Well, I want my child to come to me if she is ever bullied, and I will help her deal with it. The bullies will have to deal with both of us, and I have no problem beating the crap out of them. That's something I don't understand. The mother knew her boy was being bullied - why didn't she deal with the bullies? I would have. I would do anything for my daughter, including jail time for dismembering the bullies.

You look very familiar/ Are you friends with a girl named jackie>? her sis is christine

Lol, no, that's not me. It's actually an old picture of Greta Garbo. I'm a Greta Garbo nut, so all my avatar pics are various photos of Greta.

Originally posted by getreadyalready
reply to post by kaylaluv

 

Good Momma!

I have to admit, female bullying is a lot harder thing to deal with. It is emotional instead of physical. Beating someone up might help, but it might just make it worse. I'm glad I have boys, because their problems are simple.

Basing my opinions off my wife and girlfriends and in-laws, I think the only way to combat the emotional bullying that happens to girls, is to make sure the girls have a great support system at home, and that they develop a self-worth that is based internally and not externally. Make sure they have other groups they associate with outside of school, so even if they don't fit in well in one clique, they have other cliques where they feel accepted and appreciated. Make sure you are honest with them and let them know that some things just suck. No way around it, that's life, we all have it, and we just get through it and enjoy the good times.

Man I'm glad I didn't have any girls.

Yes, agreed - I've done all that. But, I have seen the you-tube videos of girls beating up other girls, so I know that happens as well. My daughter is not athletic or strong at all, so she would have a hard time defending herself physically. That's where I come in

reply to post by kaylaluv


My wife after having 2 kids, still struggles to maintain 100lbs. In school, she was a skinny little white girl, nicknamed "crybaby," and often bullied by bigger and meaner black girls, and groups of girls, and even the snooty Christian girls in her 1 year at a private school. She did stand up for herself one time, and she still talks about it today. She didn't think she had any chance whatsoever, but enough was enough, and she whooped a girl in the bathroom, and made her cry. The other girl never imagined that she would fight back, so she had the advantage the moment it clicked in her head that enough was enough!

She also had a younger sister and a couple of close friends that made a nice little support group, and when she got a little more mature in high school she was able to make friends with some of the girls who had been her bullies in the past. As everyone matures things get much easier.

It's sad to say, but it is actually very entertaining to watch all those other girls self-destruct as they get out into the real world. Their only social skills are their looks, or their popularity, or their aggressive personality, and once they get into the real world where you need intelligence, or charm, or tenacity, they are just not equipped to succeed. The girls like my wife learn everything they need to succeed, and they just get better and better throughout life, and the LOVE meeting all those old bullies and snooties now that they have far surpassed them on the life success scale. Shouldn't be so much fun...... but it is.

My wife is 30, and she has 2 beautiful, athletic, handsome boys. She just danced in a country music video in a sexy little outfit a couple of weeks ago (I'll be posting it to ATS once it's published!), and she has a nice home, good family, handsome husband , and all the success one could ask for. She's still a crybaby though.

Originally posted by kaylaluv

Originally posted by HamrHeed

Originally posted by kaylaluv

Originally posted by AnIntellectualRedneck
Personally, I think the easiest way that we can stop bullying is by stopping the criminalization of kids who stand up to the bullies.

Kids these days have drilled into them that the only option is going to an authority figure. We do this, and then we wonder why we have so many people dependent upon the government.

Well, I want my child to come to me if she is ever bullied, and I will help her deal with it. The bullies will have to deal with both of us, and I have no problem beating the crap out of them. That's something I don't understand. The mother knew her boy was being bullied - why didn't she deal with the bullies? I would have. I would do anything for my daughter, including jail time for dismembering the bullies.

You look very familiar/ Are you friends with a girl named jackie>? her sis is christine

Lol, no, that's not me. It's actually an old picture of Greta Garbo. I'm a Greta Garbo nut, so all my avatar pics are various photos of Greta.

How embarassing. sorry maam

Originally posted by getreadyalready

Originally posted by HamrHeed

Originally posted by g146541
reply to post by getreadyalready

 

Star upon ya, that's how we handled things when I was young.
Bloody nose and hurt feelings but much knowledge gained and best of all, no death!
Just like one of the above posters said about let em do what they do.
Pecking order and all.

Nowadays, the schools punish any retaliatory actions. It's anti-human in it's precipice

Some schools do that. And, even if they do, its still worth it. In my story, the teacher chose to make them both sit out a recess. Even thogh the teacher and I both knew we approved of the retaliation, it was also important to learn sometimes even the right action has negative consequences.

If my son gets to Jr High or High School, and he has to stand up for himself or a friend of his, and he has to get suspended, so be it. I know he will act appropriately for the situation, and so I won't be mad at him, and if his actions have consequences, that is just life. You follow your own moral compass regardless of the repercussions.

Now, if the police get involved, that is a different story. There will be hell to pay if some idiot ever calls the police on my kid for defending their self or just acting like a kid. Even if he really is doing something wrong, like flipping a bra strap, he deserves to be in trouble, but does not deserve to be charged with a crime. Some of the things I see happening in schools are obviously over the top, but I think we are lucky to have some pretty good schools where I live.

Right on! That mentality is needed these days in terms of protecting your childrens rights and freedoms.
These days with the media and all, even the little disputes can damage a child eternally.

The children need to know that knucks can be used efficiently to defend oneself, not picking boogers. Unless of course you named that lil bastard pinocchio

I'm gonna kinda play Devil's advocate here, but not to stir things up or "troll."

Why is everyone focusing solely on the bullying? What with the recent (national) campaigns against bullying, which is terrible (i was bullied as a kid, 'cause i was the dorky smart kid, and i ended up bullying some too), why is no one even mentioning the fact that the kids parents had separated.

The mother told police that her son "had been depressed due to her recent separation from his father; the fact that he had been bullied continuously by the children at school

This is just as significant as bullying, MUCH more common, and can also lead to serious future emotional and behavioral problems.

Everyone is just seeing bullying. While it is certainly a huge factor and should be addressed, and possibly the biggest factor in his death (we don't know for sure), the article goes on an anti-bullying crusade, and everyone on this board is doing the same, and no one is even mentioning how bad separation, divorce and troubles at home are and we should address *those.*

Why is this?

PS: It IS sad that such a young person had so many "perceived" problems as to think suicide was the way out, but where did such a young person GET these ideas????

These are just as important social questions surrounding this incident as bullying, IMO.

ETA: Is it because it (separation/divorce) has become so commonplace and accepted as to not warrant significant attention?

Originally posted by getreadyalready
reply to post by kaylaluv

 

My wife after having 2 kids, still struggles to maintain 100lbs. In school, she was a skinny little white girl, nicknamed "crybaby," and often bullied by bigger and meaner black girls, and groups of girls, and even the snooty Christian girls in her 1 year at a private school. She did stand up for herself one time, and she still talks about it today. She didn't think she had any chance whatsoever, but enough was enough, and she whooped a girl in the bathroom, and made her cry. The other girl never imagined that she would fight back, so she had the advantage the moment it clicked in her head that enough was enough!

She also had a younger sister and a couple of close friends that made a nice little support group, and when she got a little more mature in high school she was able to make friends with some of the girls who had been her bullies in the past. As everyone matures things get much easier.

It's sad to say, but it is actually very entertaining to watch all those other girls self-destruct as they get out into the real world. Their only social skills are their looks, or their popularity, or their aggressive personality, and once they get into the real world where you need intelligence, or charm, or tenacity, they are just not equipped to succeed. The girls like my wife learn everything they need to succeed, and they just get better and better throughout life, and the LOVE meeting all those old bullies and snooties now that they have far surpassed them on the life success scale.

Shouldn't be so much fun...... but it is.

My wife is 30, and she has 2 beautiful, athletic, handsome boys. She just danced in a country music video in a sexy little outfit a couple of weeks ago (I'll be posting it to ATS once it's published!), and she has a nice home, good family, handsome husband

, and all the success one could ask for. She's still a crybaby though.

Good for her! And good for you My daughter is very tall for her age (5'5" at 10 yrs old), but she looks like a new-born colt - all gangly arms and legs - very awkward stage right now. She's definitely smart enough to deal with any emotional bullying, and hopefully I've convinced her of her self-worth. So far, she says no bullying, and she rolls her eyes when I ask her.

I was never bullied growing up (nor did I ever bully). I had my experience with emotional bullying as an adult at work (by other women of course), but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle.

Oh, and there's nothing wrong with crying. I sometimes cry at commercials

reply to post by Liquesence


You're absolutely right! I jumped on the bullying bandwagon, because I suspect the press will stay on that topic, but in reality the parental break-up probably had a lot more to do with the suicide than anything else.

So many broken families these days, and kids often blame themselves.... hell parents even blame the kids sometimes!

The attention should really fall on what you and a few others have said. What emotional trauma could drive such a young kid to this? How did he know what to do? Why didn't anyone realize it was this bad? I think those are always the unanswered question after a suicide though.

Originally posted by faryjay
Blimey! What's this World coming to that even kids as young as 7 are committing suicide.

What are you talking about? We're living the epitome of MODERN life... /sarcasm

I'm with you Faryjay. It's messed up, and makes me think "where did we as a society go wrong?". Because our "modern" society is all effed up. Especially when a CHILD takes their life. Sad, very sad. I can't imagine what the mother is feeling. I don't want to know either. But she has my heart felt sympathies.

I am surprised no one brought up the question whether or not the child was on medication. It is widely documented that ADD, ADHD or even anti-depressants given to children can cause suicidal thoughts. I have friend whose child was given an med (not sure which one) and she had to take her off becuase the little girl suddenly would talk about death and killing herself.

I heard that the guy from Kung Fu had the same problems with bullies, his life was also cut tragically short.

I am an old fart and we had plenty of bullies when I was a youngster. I came home one too many times crying about some kid beating me up. The last time this happened my Mom greeted me at the door. She gave me a choice. Go back and stand up for myself and chance gettting a whooping from my peer or come in the house and get a whooping from her.

Back then it was rarely more than fist to cuffs. Everyone frowned on the use of sticks or stones in a brawl and anything less than a fair fight automatically made the user of even simple weapons an outcast among peers and adults alike.

The children today often have to contend with bullies that use more than sticks and stones, but knives, guns, acid, gasoline, etc.. It is not as easy for adults to deal with this problem as before. I think the one thing that helped me was being taught to accept and eventually embracing the fact that I was different.

When you know who you are and embrace what makes you unique. You take the power away from anyone that would want to use this as a weapon against you. People place way too much attention on conformity. The answer is not trying to making everyone the same. There will always be an odd man out.

The solution is teaching our children that while we are all the same and share more characteristics of sameness we are all given a unique and special characteristic that allows us to link to our community and provide strength and power through our unique gift to ensure the survival and the betterment of our world.

Our children learn from what they are told, from what they observe and from what they experience. We teach through our actions. We are letting our children down in too many ways. I look back on my ancestors with pride. I only hope that I can leave something behind that will help strengthen and grow a generation and that they will speak of me with pride long after I have turned to dust.

We have a tough job to do and we are falling down on that job. We can't wait for Superman, the Adventures, or Aliens to rescue us. The job needs to be done and we have to step up and get it done.

The right thing is always the most difficult thing to do.

It has been said that war is Hell. In this kid's experience, and my own, I will add that school is Hell, too; and sometimes in contemporary America, for disturbingly similar reasons.

Lest any military here think that such a statement is ridiculous, you only need to look at this kid's death. I was also temporarily sent to a psychiatric inpatient unit at the end of my own secondary schooling, during which I avoided outright, permanent onset schizophrenia by a hair's breadth.

Rest well, little one. Your pain is over. You have left the dark, freezing, jagged abyss that is the Earth, and returned to the boundless love and peace that mystics have for ages known, is eternity.

Return this man to Huma's breast
Beyond the wild, impartial skies;
Grant to him a warrior's rest
And set the last spark of his eyes
Free from the smothering clouds of wars
Upon the torches of the stars.
Let the last surge of his breath
Take refuge in the cradling air
Above the dreams of ravens where
Only the hawk remembers death.
Then let his shade to Huma rise
Beyond the wild, impartial skies.

-- Solamnic Death Chant

I can't help but think there's more to these 'bullying' stories lately especially this one.

Let's face it, bullying has been an unfortunate part of the curriculum ever since species congregated in groups!!!

So I have to wonder if these boys and girls of late, are getting a healthy dosage of love, support, compassion, care and attention at home. Because if they had good foundations at home I don't think bullying would necessarily push these kids over the edge like they are.

I blame parenting (or dysfunctional home life) first.
Television/movies second.
Magazines/media thirdly and school.... last


Poor boy. I can't imagine feeling that despondent when you've only been on Earth 2600 days!