Ringtone enlarges womens breasts, page 1

Yes its true. A Japanese scientist has found a way to increase the size of a womans breasts by cell phone ringtone. Plans for models that grow back hair, help you quit smoking, and find a mate are coming soon. Story below

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www.theregister.co.uk...
Boffin hits it big with breast-enlarging ringtone
By Lester Haines
Published Friday 24th September 2004 15:06 GMT
Long-term readers will certainly recall the heartwarming tale of mammarily-challenged student Michel, the US lass who launched an online appeal to raise cash for surgery to transform her "itty-bitty boobies to big tatas!"

Well, she needn't have bothered, because a Japanese man has developed a breast-augmenting ringtone which has had oriental A-cups downloading like crazed breastless women in the hope of aurally-driven überjubblies.
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Hideto Tomabechi - who apparently cut his scientific spurs deprogramming members of the AUM Shinrikyo doomsday cult - claims that his deliciously-titled "Rockmelon" ditty uses "sounds that make the brain and body move unconsciously". Tomabechio calls the subliminal mambooster a kind of "positive brainwashing" and further reckons that it's "a part of cognitive science".

Rather improbably, or should that be lamentably, Rockmelon enjoyed 10,000 downloads in its first week alone. One satisfied user said: "I listened to the tune for a week expecting all the time that I was being duped. But, incredibly, my 87-centimeter bust grew to 89 centimeters! It was awesome!" A spokesman for Media Chic - which punts the melody online - confirmed: "We haven't done any advertising for it, so I suppose the tune's success has come about through word of mouth. We've even received mail from one user who said they listened to the tune every night before going to sleep and it made her tits bigger."

That's proof enough for us. Tomabechi says he's planning further ringtones to help people quit smoking, combat baldness and attract a mate. Whether the latter category will include a suitably stirring penis-pumping anthem is not noted. ®
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Don't forget, though it makes womens breasts bigger it makes mens sperm slower and fewer

Hungarian researchers have found that men who regularly carry a cellphone may have their sperm count reduced by as much as 30 percent.

A team from Hungary's University of Szeged studied 221 men for 13 months and compared the sperm of those who used their cellphones heavily with those who didn't, the New York Post reported.

Men who carried a phone with them on stand-by throughout the day had significantly lower sperm concentration.

Their counts averaged 59.11 million sperm per milliliter of seminal fluid, compared with 82.97 million for men not continually exposed to cellphone radiation.

The researchers also found that sperm that does survive exposure to cellphone radiation shows abnormal movement, further reducing fertility.

Furthermore, men who made lengthy calls had slower-moving sperm.

[Edited on 3-10-2004 by MacKiller]

reply to post by infinite8

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Anyone have a good picture to accompany this story?

Would you settle for a video?

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