Hello fellow Ats Members,
I really don´t know why i´m posting this here on ATS but i´m so f.... lost that i just don´t care..
Been here in ATS for a little time now but only a month or so i´ve created an account.
I don´t know exacty what im doing but here it goes :
For quite some time that i´ve been exposed to the subject of Meditation cause i´m a big Fan of Chandra Mohan
,but i never went too far on it cause my life was directed in another
I´ve met my wife 12 years ago (I´m 32 now,she´s 27)and we´ve got a beatiful 5 years old daughter .
We had our fights like regular couples do and in this 12 years we separated only one time when my daughter was 1 year old, cause my wife got a serious
Postpartum depression to the point that had to be medicated, she did a lot of awful things to me and eventually we broke up(not my call,i never wanted
to be separeted) In those 2 years we were separated i found out that she ´´messed around´´ with my best friend; a discovery that totally broke my
soul. The following year i picked myself up and began a new life,it was fu.... hard cause i really loved her and my daugher.When i finnaly got over
her and was starting to smile again,something curious happened;it started to appear presents in my mail box, things like Postcards, tickets to Shows
of my favorite bands, e.t.c, that went about for 3 months till i finally got a call from my wife telling me that it was her doing...She started to
phone every day and sending me Sms asking me to forgive her and that she really loved me and wanted to try again with me.I thought this over for about
2 months and decided that i still loved her and left my new found life and went live with her,i gave up on everything, my work,my house,my
friends..and moved with her to another city...
Now here comes the strange part:
Since i moved here i found out about Ats and read a thead about solfeggio frequencies
that got my attenttion.I started then hearing those
frequencies for about 2 weeks when something strange happened, i started to feel a lower abdominal pain that lasted for about 1 month and my wife
started fights for no aparent reason,i lost my job and i simple couldn´t find another....then on the Solar eclipse of May 20(coincidence?) i receveid
a message from my wife that is at work saying that she really doesn´t know what she want´s no more and it´s best if we go both our separated
ways... WTF???? I tried to talk to her but for the last 5 days she doesn´t even say a word to me, just ignores me..I´ve got no money, no work,and
the feeling of leaving my daughter and losing the chance to watch her grow near me just gets me fed up with everything..But what really gets me mad is
her behavior, she calls her friends and spends hours on the phone talking about other peoples lifes and about what dresses to buy and bull.... like
like nothing is happening..
I´m losing my mind and wondering wtf is happening..Some test?Just life??Is she a fu... b...?I really don´t know what to do or what to think...i´m
just losing it
I wanted to write some more, especcialy about my daughter, but i really can´t get started cause i would simply burst into to tears and wouldn´t be
able to write nothing..I love her too much, she´s my light and beacon in this hell...
Sorry for my bad english or something else but..
i don´t know what else to write so..
edit on 24-5-2012 by SoulVoid because: (no reason given)