posted on May, 25 2012 @ 09:40 AM
When i was aroud 14/15 not too long ago as im 18 turning 19 now i must say i was an absolute rotten little b****. lol
But i can see exactly where you are coming from as i have experienced it. My parents divorced when i was about 12 and that in itself wasn't too bad it
was what came afterwards. Me and my mother clashed horrifically and my poor dad was so depressed at the time that he was never really around when i
were to be at his house. Because of the lack of affection i started to look for it in other ways, i was rather chubby when i was younger and my mum
used to make nasty comments about it. i became depressed at some point and stopped eating as much however it wasn't purposefully and i lost weight.
People started to comment expecially at school saying how attractive i was looking and i got alot of affection/attention because of it. So you can
imagine what that said to my little mind that you can only be loved by your appearance and i had to litterly starve myself to maintain it. Then my mum
started calling me a w**** because i was putting on makeup and i would no joke get up at about 5 30 in the morning to shower and do my hair and makeup
for school because the affection was more important that my schooling.
Then i created psychological armouring because of all my bitterness and self harmed, skipped school, drank and tried drugs, never went to class and
was really nasty to a few girls which is the exact polar opposite of who i actually am. The teachers at my school tried so so so hard to get me to
leave but because it was private catholic education they couldnt actually make me leave and i was legitimately the demon child. One teacher even told
one of my friends parents that i was a liar and shouldn't be trusted as i was a bad kid.
Now i have left school and working and 100% happier with my life and im thinking to go volunteer which im sure at that time of my life noone could
have possibly thought this is the path i would be on. This was only possible because i was luckily enough to have my own self realisations and had a
few really good people come along the way and the only thing that turned myself around was self acceptance and self worth which of course you cannot
have if you dont appreciate yourself to some degree.
What im saying by this is all people really need is affection, once they lose that they feel alienated and then the antisocial behavior begins to try
to express pent up feelings and also because they lose the ability to empathise as they have lost common footing with people and therefore cannot
relate. There is no such thing as a bad child, just a sad one.
edit on 25-5-2012 by littlecloud because: (no reason given)