These kids today are SO bad! - or are they?

Great points by all, including the 16 yr old.

My Mother, Baby Boomer, has been married 3 times. My Grandmother (in a Home about 60 miles away) was married for 60+ yrs. My Mother cant stand my Grandma because "she showed no love or affection". Interesting to say the least.

I dont think there is an easy answer to any of this but I have found that Honesty seems to work the best (my Wife is great at the "Birds and Bees" and I am great at "Teaching" to be "ones self". Also, hard work, determination, confidence, amongst others also helps alot in a well "Foundationed" young person. I dont call my kids Young People, I call them Kids.

Great Topic. Finally a Ron Paul thread I dont have to argue with someone about.

reply to post by doomedtoday


Please, don't ever put the urge to make more money as more important than your family. I don't think most young parents really intend to do this, but in the process of trying to give your family the best, it happens. My best advice to young people is to remember that the best you can give your family is YOU. Your kids may remember the great toy or gadget you gave them, but they will NEVER forget the day Mom sang one of the kid's favorite songs on karaoke or Dad jumping on the sled randomly.
Seriously, these are the things that matter. Time well spent. It took me 42 years and the death of my dad to learn what really matters. I work part-time even though we could use more income, just so I can be available to my kids. So far, it's paying off. I have great kids who stay out of trouble and come to me when they need help.

Originally posted by influencetheabove
Being a 16 year old myself, i can pretty much agree to this whole topic. I honestly dont know when the last time my parents hugged me and told me they love me. I'm not depressed or have ever been acting out, you kind of get used to not having your parents do those things. But when they do hug or tell me they love me every once in a long while, its actually kind of awkward because its been so long.

On another note, i also do agree on this and the next generation of kids being more rude and disrespectful towards adults. Like i said being a teenager myself, i have first hand experience on this kind of thing. When i hear a punk kid thats my age or even younger disrespect an adult, it upsets me because i just hate their, shall we say "swagger/mindset". The problem is kids acting out to fit in or look cool in front of friends. All in all, you cant blame it on the kids.

You have earned my respect. I assume you would count as a part of the same generation as me and I know how annoying it is when the majority of the people in my age group seem to be completely void of respect for others in general. Its always me me me my my my and that is just so annoying.

Originally posted by ownbestenemy
My two boys do things that boys have done for ages -- picked their noses, threw rocks into the neighbor's yard, tried to light things on fire, experimented and pushed the language boundary, dared each other to ridiculous tasks, climbed over fences they were not supposed to, stole, punched and said mean things.

He he

Boys will be boys. My son learned two valuable lessens while growing up. Restraint and defending oneself. We put both our Daughter and Son in Karate for several years. One summer after two or three years of classes a new neighborhood kid thought he would bully my son and some of his friends. After a few run ins one day my son came to me and expressed how that kid made him feel and what he wanted to do to him. I told him if he gets out of hand that he had the right to defend himself.

When a follow along situation arose my son went a little too far and laid the kid out instead of just defending himself. I explained the concept of restraint. That evening I took him by the shoulder and made him apologize to the other kid and his parents. [ I Knew full by my sons actions the "Bullying" was over ]

The second time was a bit different and a few years later in High school. There was this Kid who kept at my son for some odd reason. My son brought it to my attention. I told him to tell one of his teachers. He did, it kept up. He came to me again, this time I told him to tell one of the counselors. He did, It kept up. Finally, I told him that he had the right to defend himself.

He did, magnificently

They tried to expel my son but I came down on them and explained that he had brought the continuing and ongoing situation to not just a teacher but also a counselor's attention which they ignored.

Nothing further was said after that.

Originally posted by Komaratzi11
reply to post by doomedtoday

 

Please, don't ever put the urge to make more money as more important than your family. I don't think most young parents really intend to do this, but in the process of trying to give your family the best, it happens. My best advice to young people is to remember that the best you can give your family is YOU. Your kids may remember the great toy or gadget you gave them, but they will NEVER forget the day Mom sang one of the kid's favorite songs on karaoke or Dad jumping on the sled randomly.
Seriously, these are the things that matter. Time well spent. It took me 42 years and the death of my dad to learn what really matters. I work part-time even though we could use more income, just so I can be available to my kids. So far, it's paying off. I have great kids who stay out of trouble and come to me when they need help.

Oh don't worry I have no plans to. I really just wish that we could have more of those 40 hour a week kind of jobs rather than the new popular 70 hour work weeks which leaves no time for family and hobbies. Either way with the student loan debt my wife and I will both owe we each will HAVE to have a job and I just hope we can get good jobs with fair hours. I have no desire to get rich or anything like that though, family, friends, and hobbies are more important than money could ever be. I just want to be able to own a home and a new car for a change, I know, most will say that's a crazy pipe dream these days but having grown up in poverty living in projects, I just really want to own m own home, ya know. One thing growing up in poverty has taught me though is how to live within your means, I belie that IF I can find a job I'll be able to pay off the student loan debt within 5 - 6 years. I try not to worry too much because I would like to believe that I will be able to find a career that I wont hate and that will pay well, being an electronics engineering major. I just hope the hours aren't crazy.

reply to post by SLAYER69
My Son has seen me in a few confrontations, the Right Ones. My Daughter as well. But, I think the Greatest thing is when your significant other has your back. I dont think that happens too often now a days.

Sure, sometimes Mom is wrong and Sometimes Dad is wrong but having each others back is very important. Keeping the Family Unit, even if it is within your Own Personal Family can pay off greatly in the long run.

reply to post by doomedtoday
Worrying will only cause you stress which will lead to your head being clouded. If you are "starting from scratch" you should be able to hussle a job no matter what. Student Loans now a days are a lot harder to pay off because of the job market. That is the real problem.

I can only hope for a Scholorship for my kids because there is no way in hell I am paying 20K for a College Education.

Originally posted by doomedtoday

Originally posted by influencetheabove
Being a 16 year old myself, i can pretty much agree to this whole topic. I honestly dont know when the last time my parents hugged me and told me they love me. I'm not depressed or have ever been acting out, you kind of get used to not having your parents do those things. But when they do hug or tell me they love me every once in a long while, its actually kind of awkward because its been so long.

On another note, i also do agree on this and the next generation of kids being more rude and disrespectful towards adults. Like i said being a teenager myself, i have first hand experience on this kind of thing. When i hear a punk kid thats my age or even younger disrespect an adult, it upsets me because i just hate their, shall we say "swagger/mindset". The problem is kids acting out to fit in or look cool in front of friends. All in all, you cant blame it on the kids.

You have earned my respect. I assume you would count as a part of the same generation as me and I know how annoying it is when the majority of the people in my age group seem to be completely void of respect for others in general. Its always me me me my my my and that is just so annoying.

Paradoxically, being pro-social is also anti-social. The problem I have with that idea is that most high school students aren't very smart. A good example was when a salesmen came to talk to our class of 400 trying to sell class rings. The guy said something to the effect of "When things like 9-11 happen, you have to buy class rings". He was taking questions at the end and a girl asked if he was using 9-11 to sell rings, which he was. Vice principal walks over swiftly and takes the microphone as the guy stuttered. About 90% of the class said that it was wrong to ask the question and was "rude".

Of course, what you're talking about are those horrible, brutish, miscreants that we all know so well. "Respect" won't get them to teach you anything useful. Probably the most intelligent thing that happened that month and it was "rude" and not an example to follow.

As Carlin says, today's kids are way too soft. In some countries during WWII the draft age started at 16 but now we have teens that get "super depressed" when they aren't hugged and told they're loved on a daily basis.

reply to post by sarra1833

Fascinating thread Sarra. You sound like an awesome mom and bless you

--------------------------------------------------------------------

This topic is obviously very intricate but as a younger man I can say that you raise a very important point and is, in my estimation, at the root of our problems in modern society.
YOU GET WHAT YOU GIVE, SOMETIMES LITERALLY TOO. I believe it's woven into the fabric of the universe but what do I know? I'm 22
Some may argue that it has been PLANNED this way to drive broken kids into the hands of the purveyor of destruction, hate and death.
Negativity is glorified in our society and not always is it clear to see:
Example- The "best" music is the most passion filled and emotion driven.
the song "Another Sunday" by I mother earth is a perfect illustration of this. I suppose music can be an excellent outlet to drain negative energy, but at what cost? It perpetuates the cycle.
I had more but I'll stop there/

ps: hey aspie- good to see ya

howdy... don't want to derail or encourage chit chat... not that I'm feeling overly chit chatty today but how are you doing? I'm doing ok. Just feeling a little tired myself, being kinda idle.

Originally posted by SLAYER69

Originally posted by ownbestenemy
My two boys do things that boys have done for ages -- picked their noses, threw rocks into the neighbor's yard, tried to light things on fire, experimented and pushed the language boundary, dared each other to ridiculous tasks, climbed over fences they were not supposed to, stole, punched and said mean things.

He he

Boys will be boys. My son learned two valuable lessens while growing up. Restraint and defending oneself. We put both our Daughter and Son in Karate for several years. One summer after two or three years of classes a new neighborhood kid thought he would bully my son and some of his friends. After a few run ins one day my son came to me and expressed how that kid made him feel and what he wanted to do to him. I told him if he gets out of hand that he had the right to defend himself.

When a follow along situation arose my son went a little too far and laid the kid out instead of just defending himself. I explained the concept of restraint. That evening I took him by the shoulder and made him apologize to the other kid and his parents. [ I Knew full by my sons actions the "Bullying" was over ]

The second time was a bit different and a few years later in High school. There was this Kid who kept at my son for some odd reason. My son brought it to my attention. I told him to tell one of his teachers. He did, it kept up. He came to me again, this time I told him to tell one of the counselors. He did, It kept up. Finally, I told him that he had the right to defend himself.

He did, magnificently

They tried to expel my son but I came down on them and explained that he had brought the continuing and ongoing situation to not just a teacher but also a counselor's attention which they ignored.

Nothing further was said after that.

edit on 24-5-2012 by SLAYER69 because: (no reason given)

Wow and they didn't expel him because you challenged their position? I wish that would have happened to me. My parents talked to the principal and I still got punished for defending myself. It skewed my perception of reality and to this day, I still don't get it.
School isn't natural. It has now become a revenue source and testing ground for "PSYOPS" if you will.
I mean, I can't believe how bad I was lied to in history class. The most important events and information have been scrubbed from the curriculum

reply to post by HamrHeed


I hear ya.

Not all cases and outcomes like the circumstances are ever going to be the same. Don't get me started on my sons experience with the Boy scouts.

Fiasco

I agree that school is social programming. i remember some drug agent coming to talk to us that seemed to be the crooked type/still into drugs... trying to be a rude smart ass to school kids. he pulled me out of a half of a gym full of students and they made me walk out to the microphone so he could ask me questions and embarrass me. teachers had meeting with other kids who i didn't even talk to... about me. A lot of kids that i went to school with did way worse than i did but they didn't wear metal shirts. i went to school in the years of "GERALDO INTERVIEWS THE SATANIC CHURCH" being on Tv constantly.

so naturally I started filling in all multiple choice answer circles with little pentagrams. I was done with school. done... even though I was too young to quit.

A friend of mine was set up in this stupid robbery scheme and he went down for murder... they called it a satanic ritual (the guy was shot) it was all in the paper, they put my name in their even though i was nowhere near the crime scene. they said we drank blood. all kinds of stuff. Yeah, i was rebellious but didn't get in fights in school, only stole a couple of things in my youth but small stuff and didn't get in trouble for it, didn't do hard drugs... and as years went by my group of friends and I kinda turned into hippies.

little did i know the demonization was not over. Not in the least.

and everybody knows they are diagnosing kids left and right with mental illness when they are just KIDS... not even teenagers yet! it's like they've already got your life planned out. was diagnosed with some borderline crap at age 15 and hadn't been in a fight in all my years of school... hardly even talked at school. was basically just very shy until i started listening to metal and started making friends that also listened to metal. before then i was basically just a wall flower that occasionally got picked on.

school can be very destructive to some.

i hardly learned anything in school that i couldn't have learned in a very short period of time away from school.
I'm not saying it's a bad idea to bring kids together... but not under such mean and nasty practices meant to socially SEPARATE... not bring together. It's all about competition and setting up social boundaries.

Oh I forgot one most important thing about this topic and Sarra pointed it out. A few people who have been tormented all their lives will become excellent parents if they break the cycle and remember how painful neglect can be.
Sadly, alot or most of these people will make stupid decisions and screw up their lives before they have a chance to understand the consequences of said actions

All amazing points and I'm SO glad to see everyone but one agrees with my post.


It does NOT make a kid 'soft' to want hugs and love. For pete's sake. That kind of mentality is WHY poeple are so uncaring, mean, selfish and rude and a whole plethora of negative.

Glad to see only one in the lot here so far feels that way.

reply to post by sarra1833


In the early 20th century vandalism and violence by roving gangs of children on Halloween became so severe that cities were often forced to cancel festivities.
It wasn't just Halloween though, that type of vandalism was nearly commonplace. Mostly by children and young adults. Kids aren't some innocent sweethearts, they just don't know they're not supposed to destroy things.

"The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for
authority, they show disrespect to their elders.... They no longer
rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents,
chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their
legs, and are tyrants over their teachers."

- Socrates

Yeah, every generation thinks that kids today are going to hell in a handbasket, but the world seems to keep on turning anyway.

To the OP, S&F

Parenting is a skill that takes persistence and dedication. Children not only need hugs and love, but structure, your time and proper guidance. I did not receive any of that in my dysfunctional family growing up, unfortunately. I had the worst self esteem and felt neglected, abused and unloved......

But now that I have my own children, I give lots of affection and praise when earned. I tell them no often enough. I leave notes in lunch boxes telling them I love them, I give lots of hugs and kisses. I play games with them and spend as much time as I can with them. I learn about them, who they are inside.

The best part is hearing my 6 year old say, wake up mommy, I love you...It melts my heart. I love hearing my 9 year old tell me I am the best mom ever! I am not saying I am...But to THEM I AM!!

Communication and showing love and respect is worth more than any xbox, DS, PC game or toy!!!!!

reply to post by sarra1833


You know we all look at our kids and say oh they are so bad! they are worse than kids have ever been..

Have we looked at ourselves at all? Within all of this can we see that WE ourselves are worse as a people than we have ever been?

We can sit around and focus on the kids being bad when we all just really need be focused on ourselves. Our children can only be as good or bad as we are (energetically speaking they are coming into a world where it should be more than obvious is CRAZIER than ever). It is only a reflection.. which means it is a reflection of each and every single one of us.

we all need to start taking responsibility for ourselves. PERIOD. no blaming or looking to another and saying your bad. we are all out of control in one way or another.. that is what we need to address.

reply to post by sarra1833

You make good comments. You're a thoughtful person. You want to do what's right for your son. You're sometimes introspective to a fault, maybe. And then you say you're worried that maybe you don't shower your son in love enough? But parents who don't shower their kids with dumb love are just preparing them for real life when they leave the home. When you leave the home, life doesn't love you. It doesn't care about you more than a ant crossing the road. By hugging a teenager too much and giving them undue credit or care you're setting them up for failure because they'll step outside the door and find out how empty of feeling the world is for them and will come screaming and crying right back to your dumb loving arms. The problem is you're letting your love overrule.

If you were more rationale then you NEVER would have posted this! In fact, the moment your teen talked back at you when you told him that you had been through it and he'll understand when he's older, in that moment you would have got frustrated and probably have just let the issue die because you understand he can't understand yet. You know that time is the only answer.

Tough love and dumb love are both misdirected because they're essentially blind.

You know that phrase about how if you love a bird you have to let it go??? Remember it. If you truly love your son then prepare him for the real world so he won't live in misery when he's an adult. There's no worse death sentence in life then to be insecure or afraid of the real world.

To love and not set what you love free is selfish love - the worst kind!

You can fully share with him how much you love him when he's on his own and supporting himself. Otherwise, he won't have the maturity to receive your love in a responsible way.

You have a big heart. You need to take that love inside you and stiffen the rules.