Ore. track coach takes student to prom, loses job

It's not as if the teacher took the student on a date somewhere solitary or to a bar etc, it was a Prom and in full view of everyone.
All concerned know that nothing untoward happened.

Interfering busy bodies and overtly moralistic, PC do-gooders who do more damage than good.

Unbeleivable, getting sacked for showing some compassion.

Bad judgement call? Yes. Kind gesture? Absolutely.

In this day and age, us teachers are looked at under a microscope. The media accentuates that by blasting the few miscreant teachers that we have out there. I feel the pressure every day as one of four male teachers in an elementary school (one is a kindergarten teacher, one a 4th grade teacher, the other being the gym teacher). I absolutely love that age level and am trying to find a full-time position at that level.

As far as this woman's gesture, I see nothing wrong with it. We have to look at these things on a case-by-case basis. The father obviously gave the teacher permission to take his son. He thought that it was okay, so what's the issue?

I suppose the issue is that she really shouldn't have done this in the first place, if only because of the public scrutiny that she would be put under, parental permission or not. I do give her credit for trying to help her student. There aren't enough of these people in the world right now.

I guess she can chalk it up to a lesson learned. Hopefully, she can recover from this and move on.


My $.02


-TS

Originally posted by Freeborn
Interfering busy bodies and overtly moralistic, PC do-gooders who do more damage than good.

Unbeleivable, getting sacked for showing some compassion.

I sympathise with your sentiment but I don't agree.

Not "interfering busy bodies" - the school itself fired her.

Not "overtly moralistic" - teachers have never been allowed to take a student to the prom.

A line has to be drawn. Teachers are not and have never been allowed to take minors to the prom.

Originally posted by ShadowBase
God I'm tired of the generalization and "until it happens to you" trash. No wonders why the world are way paranoid.

Being a male working in a kindergarten myself I know how it feels to everyday having the paranoia of the world in the back of your head. Always afraid of anyone creating their own version of something in their head.
It's just ridiculous.

No I'm not saying that we should ignore any threat pattern, I'm saying we should stop treating everything as a great and even inevitable happening. Stop seeing everything in black and white!

sorry for rant, just got triggered by the topic in hand.

Exactly what I was tying to say but i always seem to get sidetracked and put things in a complicated way. Why is western culture so perfect? No, don't read into that statement more than a simple question about how westerners seem to think they have reached the pinacle of respectability. What about islamic countries? They think THEY are right, What about Brazilian rain forest tribes? They think THEY are right Here's the irony, I don't like judgemental people (so no wonder I have self value issues as that is a judgemental statement) Dont know how to get round that except for becoming a hermit

reply to post by ollncasino


She was an unpaid volunteer and benefactor.

Of course there are bounderies that teachers and other's in positions of responsibility etc shouldn't cross but I don't think this was one of them - everything was above board and fairly transparent.

I suppose I could understand her being warned about her future conduct etc but the punishment does seem a bit extreme to say the least - and with the potential loss of such a benefactor it is only the students who will suffer in the long run.

Originally posted by Freeborn
Of course there are bounderies that teachers and other's in positions of responsibility etc shouldn't cross but I don't think this was one of them - everything was above board and fairly transparent.

If she didn't ask the school for permission before hand, then it wasn't transparent.

Originally posted by Freeborn
I suppose I could understand her being warned about her future conduct etc but the punishment does seem a bit extreme to say the least - and with the potential loss of such a benefactor it is only the students who will suffer in the long run.

Again, I have sympathy for your perspective but then should teachers only be sacked if they take students to the prom twice?

Either taking a student to the prom constitutes gross miss-conduct or it doesn't.

If it doesn't, does that mean that teachers should be allowed to take students to the prom?

After reading some of the comments I felt inclined to share a bit about myself.

I grew up in a single parent home with my Mother. When I was in the 6th Grade, my Father died in a car accident. We were not very close but it effected pretty profoundly. In our house, we never took days off school. Missing school meant Mom had to stay home from wor and that was just not option. My Mother worked her butt off while going to school, we were poor and my Brother and I knew we were poor. It was no big secret to us. So the idea of Mom missing work was just not something we entertained. So after finding out my Father had died, the next morning we went to school. Life went on, we never missed a beat, we just kept going.

As I said his death effected me in many ways and one of those ways was to completely shut down. I withdrew from everyone except my closest friends and I showed very very little emotion. At least publicly. So the next year the school district moved me to another school and put me into an S.E.D. program (Social and Emotional Development). Really what it meant was one teacher, his assistant, and we covered all our classes in one room with just a handful of other students. I guess the School District had figured we were some of the most at risk kids and the extra attention would be better for us. There were no other kids who had my type of circumstances, most of the others were the biggest class clowns or the biggest bullies. It was not uncommon to see a kid throw a chair at our teacher, take a swing, completely lose it and try to trash the classroom. Our teacher was also the school's football coach and wrestling coach and for kids like me he almost turned into something of a Father figure.

His name was Mr. L. Spearing and he didn't take no crap from any of us. He had an empty room within our classroom, nothing in it at all. 4 walls. When kids were too disruptive, it was a "time out" room. It was also the room where we learned a lot about respect and just how tough we were when we acted violently. Mr. Spearing didnt send us to the Office. There were no Police. At times it was just him and the Student in this room and I will openly say right now, there were time that he gave us a whooping in that room. He never punched us... but he sure would toss us into the wall and rough us up pretty good. It was not abuse, we always deserved it. Like I said, we threw chairs, we too swings, and we deserved any physical justice he dished out.

One thing I can say about Mr. Spearing he actually gave a crap about his students. If not for that Man and the extra time he put in dealing with my crap I would probably be in prison today. When I say extra time, I mean extra time. After school, before school, it didnt matter. If you needed him he was there. I stayed in his class for a few years. From 7th grade until 10th grade. I was supposed to go back into normal classes during the 8th grade, but I refused. I had no intention of dealing with any other teacher but Mr Spearing.

By the 8th Grade I started getting involved in sports. Of course, it was football and wrestling with my favorite teacher, Mr Spearing. As I said, I was sent to this school. It was within the same district but it was out of the way. If I missed my bus, I would ride a bicycle and it would take me about an hour. Sometimes practices would run late and I would miss the after school bus. It was Mr. Spearing who would never let me walk. He would give me ride. He had this big green piece of crap car that would smoke and sputter and give him a tough time starting at times...lol

It was completely out of his way, his job was done. He did it because he cared and he knew how to use that one on one time wisley to really get through to me. I learned a lot from Mr Spearing on those rides home, about what it was to be Man, to stand on your own two feet, to accept responsibility for your actions. My Father was never around much before he died, it was Mr. Spearing who taught me how to change a flat tire. This was in the State of Pennsylvania and Winters when I was kid could get brutal. It didn't matter how much snow fell, how icey the roads were, Mr. Spearing took time out of his free time to make sure I got home safe and sound.

God Bless Mr. Spearing. I have not seen that man in over 25 years and to this day I have forgot him and the extra mile he went to make sure I stayed out of trouble. There is a good chance that if he didnt give me a ride home, I might have stolen a car and gave myself a ride home, I was that stupid a kid. He is retiring soon and I just found out about it from another former student. We plan to be there to let him know just how much good he did and that he is one teacher who his students truly respected and loved.

Not every teacher who cares about their students is a child molester. Sometimes they just care, and they show it by going that extra mile and doing things that may seem odd to some, but it means the world to that student.

reply to post by MrWendal


And your story, sir, is exactly why I love being a teacher. You should call him tomorrow and tell him how much you appreciated his tutelage. I guarantee you that he will be eternally grateful for that gesture.

Thanks for sharing your story. You really inspired me.



-S

Originally posted by truthseeker1984
reply to post by MrWendal

 

And your story, sir, is exactly why I love being a teacher. You should call him tomorrow and tell him how much you appreciated his tutelage. I guarantee you that he will be eternally grateful for that gesture.

Thanks for sharing your story. You really inspired me.

-S

Call?? No.

I will tell him in person when some of us show up unannounced on his last day when he retires. For all the extra time he took for us, we can make the time for him to be there in person. It's the least we can do

Originally posted by Annee

Originally posted by sonnny1
hmmm...

Shes 43,her husband 75.......

Conspiracy to groom the next Husband ?

I'm 65 - - my hubby is 44.

Your point?

May - September - May. That's the point. Gotta keep the pattern going, just like the parents of Ursula LeGuin.

Originally posted by MrWendal

Originally posted by truthseeker1984
reply to post by MrWendal

 

And your story, sir, is exactly why I love being a teacher. You should call him tomorrow and tell him how much you appreciated his tutelage. I guarantee you that he will be eternally grateful for that gesture.

Thanks for sharing your story. You really inspired me.

-S

Call?? No.

I will tell him in person when some of us show up unannounced on his last day when he retires. For all the extra time he took for us, we can make the time for him to be there in person. It's the least we can do

I'm a bit old-fashioned sometimes with English. Call on = meet. I forgot to add the "on." In either case, he'll be thrilled.



-TS

reply to post by truthseeker1984


Ahh sorry I misunderstood.

I don't know how thrilled he will be, after teaching for 25+ years I am not even sure he will remember me, but one thing is certain. I will NEVER forget him.

Originally posted by MrWendal
reply to post by truthseeker1984

 

Ahh sorry I misunderstood.

I don't know how thrilled he will be, after teaching for 25+ years I am not even sure he will remember me, but one thing is certain. I will NEVER forget him.

No worries friend!

Believe me, he WILL remember you, and he WILL be thrilled. There's nothing greater than former students coming up to me and saying how profound of an impact I had on their lives. It really does mean a lot.


-TS

Another thought I wanted to add is just how much times have really changed. My mom has told me a story of when she was 12. Her teacher invited the entire class to a party at her house, where they played spin the bottle.

The parents of each kid knew this was going to happen and had no problem with it....

This was in the mid 60's.....In Texas....

If this happened today, this teacher would be in court for child molestation or something...

Times really have changed....And we love trying to make an innocent thing into something awful. Though, I admit, I would not be crazy about my 12 year old niece going off somewhere to play spin the bottle...So go figure.

I would dance with my 12 year old Niece any day. Why? because it's dancing...Nothing more..Nothing less... Adults can dance with kids with out it being something perverted or sexual.

And that is all she was doing. having fun. Trying to help a kid.


Again, popular or not, this is where I stand.

Had 2 or 3 of our teachers joining a grill'n'beer when we celebrated finishing an exam in high-school back in 2008 I think.

Originally posted by Annee

Originally posted by theRhenn
I would not trust you with my kids, based off of your responces alone, no matter wether or not you raised 3 generations. I'm raising the 2nd, not even close to the third, and as an adult in my 40s, I would not let you near my children. You are faaaaaaaaar to liberal in your views for my taste. .

Ha Ha Ha Ha

My 12 year old grand-daughter would not agree with you on the Liberal part.

Please tell me English is a 2nd language for you.

So you want to atatck my spelling, do ya? Actually miss, I dont have time to spend on these forums like you do. I have to speed through my typings because I'm not exactly free to just sit here and attack peoples grammar or spelling, which I'm sure, you're no saint in that department. So yeah, stuff does get by me. You read it and obviously understood it, so... As we say... Deal with it. You obviously get what I'm feeding you.

Your 12 year old wouldnt have a say anyways. Hince the fact that your 12 year old is... umm 12? That means, she hasnt lived or seen enough life to understand much of a damn thing outside of mommy and daddy at this point anyways. To be honest, I can say that I know many people in their early 20s that shouldnt make decisions. Hell, we have a 30something year old prez that obviously cant make the right choices.

Im liberal in my views to a point. To the point that all are equal, so long that it does not infringe on the rights of others. But please tell me how your 12 year old's opinion on the matter is actually a sane and safe ideal? Remember... You're getting this from a 12 year old..


now, you wanna play spelling games, we can do that... or you can be a grown up about it and have a logical descussion.

I could go farther and refrence your malidy as a child and whomever else you mentioned being molested.... Based upon your original comment about never should worry about such things.. To me.. My thoughts on the subject are clear and to the point.. But for the sake of simply not being a d!(k about it and turn it around based on your chocies and decisions that you reflect today....... I'm sure you can come up with the obviousness here.


But please.. by all means, continue.

oh wait.. you're expecting something like...

butpleassee contineue

reply to post by gimme_some_truth


But, and this is a big one: In older European societies, when people danced, it was merely a social excursion. With the style of dancing we have now, many of us are thinking about sex. (Otherwise, why would we call it a bump&grind?) If we did things to make sure that dances were merely social outings instead of that thing you take your DATE to, there wouldn't be any reason for uproar. "Traditional social context" does play a role in how we judge these things.

Originally posted by theRhenn

Your 12 year old wouldnt have a say anyways. Hince the fact that your 12 year old is... umm 12?

Do you have a 12 year old? Believe me they have a lot to say - - - and are far more advanced then when I was 12.

But besides that - - the rule is: "When you are 12 - you will be 12 for the entire year" - "When you are 13 - we'll decide what that means - - and then you will be 13 for the entire year".

That means, she hasnt lived or seen enough life to understand much of a damn thing outside of mommy and daddy at this point anyways.

You sure about that? You don't know anything about her life.

To be honest, I can say that I know many people in their early 20s that shouldnt make decisions. Hell, we have a 30something year old prez that obviously cant make the right choices.

Oh yeah! Got to throw the Obama slam in. Very mature.

Based upon your original comment about never should worry about such things..

I want to see the quote where I said NEVER worry about such things.