I promised someone awhile back that i would do this thread, sorry i am so late!
This is a subject of movies, debates, and many books.
Is monogamy natural? Is it society driven? Is wandering different for men and women?
This subject is so extensive both morally and naturally, this may end up being a series. lol
This is NOT about what religion wants, your emotional wants, your community wants. This is the nuts and bolts of true monogamy or lack thereof. This
is meant to be a fun and informative debate.
just the question plain and simple, are humans really meant to be monogamous?
i am going to do something that i rarely do on ats, i am going to give my own opinion first. not that any of you have ever noticed that i
The success of humans, is largely comprised of the fact that we raise our children for so long. As opposed to being a lion, and in two years your
turned out to fend for yourself.
Not that other animals don't adapt new behaviors, just at a much slower rate.
We keep our children till they are teens or adults, that is at least 16 years of knowledge gathering and information retention, and it gives a huge
advantage. And this is with both parents providing a lot of resources. Who bring different skill sets and pass it on to several children.
But there is still the need to trade genetic material. Now that the subject is less taboo, science is now pointing more and more to that humans are
not meant to be monogamous. IT is smart to provide the resources to the kiddies,but it limits genetic material.
I think the answer is somewhere in the middle. If you want the crux of human behavior, you look at cavepeople. They lived in families. The adults
would get food, women took care of offspring,the elderly were sol.
There would of been several pairs of breeding adults. so among them, in this group, the breeders would breed among themselves, maybe among 5-6
it wouldnt' be limited to a pair, but no one is doing it with strangers and being a slut. it would of been shared among the breeding group.They would
occassionaly steal another female to change up genetic material.
This would actually explain a lot of things.Why we have a tendancy to pair off, but yet crave variety. Why we have a tendancy for cultures to stay
among themselves, and not want to breed with another culture or race. Why we can love more then one person.
I should say that monogamy mainly applies to those countries that like marriages to be solidly monogamous. There are some cultures where all wives of
brothers are considered wives of all the brothers, to Africa where during a festival, for one night, married couples can go swing.
so this is for those cultures where monogamy is considered the only way.Because that is how the society has been raised to believe. So they feel
strongly about it, just like having to sleep with all your husban'ds brothers wouldn't be weird to someone else, but totally taboo here.
not only do we envelope monogamy, we have rituals to expesivley show our coupledome and love too all our friends and family and to forsake all others.
So my opinon boils down to, like Savage said, we should be monogamish. We celebrate coupledome, we love our spouse beyond all others, and simply, and
only occassionaly, get sexual variety.
i have posted this article before, and i suggest you read it as i think it is very informative.
married, with infidelities
But there is one issue that makes this very hard in monogamy world...
the green eyed monster
backbiting, begrudging, covetousness, enviousness, evil eye, green-eyed monster, grudge, grudgingness, jaundiced eye, resentfulness, resentment, spite
according to thesaurus.com.
Especially in American society. Where as Savage points out, because our isolation as couples and the amount of resources we put towards this
isolation, jealousy is more rampant then ever.
And Europeans, who are smart enough not to move 400 miles away from their families, have more support and feel less threatened.
Because of the insecurity we feel when someone threatens to take our resources, aka our mate.
But this too, also stems to cavepeople society. Men didn't want to waste precious resources and energey raising someone else's child. And women
needed the man to bring home the mammoth and for protection. Because at 8 months pregnant, you can't even tie your shoes. Though in your little
family group, there is an understanding,though there may be a heirarchy.
Now before people start referring to the animal kingdome for examples of monogamy, for one, no two species act exactly the same, and two, there is
actually very little monogamy in the animal kingdom.
Genetic testing has recently shown that even among many bird species -- long touted as the epitome of monogamous fidelity -- it is not uncommon
for 6percent to 60percent of the young to be fathered by a bird other than the mother's social partner. As a result, we now know scientifically what
most people have long known privately: that social monogamy does not necessarily imply sexual monogamy.
But since no two species are alike, we should stick to strictly to the human species.
Why should we even understand this topic when society has already decided what is acceptable?
Because understanding true biology, and what our natural insticts pull us to do, may help people understand:
why marriage is so hard
why it is work
why people should be prepared for it
and it helps alleviate the confusion for someone who has to hide their day to day feelings that they truley love their spouse, but dang the neighbor
is hot.Adn that they may feel dirty or wrong for even having those feelings and havign to hide them.When it is perfectly natural.
And learn to talk to their partners about their needs.
I will eventually follow up with another thread on what science has to say on it.
But what are your opinions?
is it natural? un natural, just social monogamy? Should we follow it and keep it?