Beck and Call

I have noticed in the last few years, as technology has progressed, people have begun assuming that everyone is now at their beck and call. It is now expected, by most people, that you are to answer that phone, door, text, FB post, etc immediately. It no longer matters what the recipient is doing or feeling. It has come to the point that people have a "if I take the time to call, text, post, or knock at your door you are expected to answer and answer NOW, PERIOD".

Just a few weeks ago, I took the weekend to do some things and did not log onto the net. When I did log on, I had a series of emails from someone. The first was a simple question and a few statements, a pleasant email. The next ones progressively got worse and went as far as name calling and total disrespect in the statements. This got me to thinking and observing the way people assume you to be at their beck and call, and I for one have had enough. Is my time not worth anything in their world? Are they actually the center of my world? When did internet acquaintances become more important than my life and Family? Don't get me wrong, I like receiving emails, but I don't think I should be expected to jump.

I think this has come about due to the portability of phones and the "if its portable, you must have it with you." attitude and has bled over to other aspects like emails and even your front door. People have begun to assume that what they have to say is more important than what it is you are doing and, I personally, am beginning to find this disrespectful.

The problem is, is now that I feel this way, I may just not feel like answering that call or the door, due to not wanting to be bothered and that person begins to "blow up" my phone or wear a dent into my door due to their own impatience or worse, it really is an emergency or of great importance.The story of "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" comes to mind.

BUT......

Because I try to see both sides of the coin, If I am in the position of needing assistance(medical) and can not get to the phone, it is nice to know that IF I do not answer this will send up a flag to someone to check in on me, but in order to receive this am I to drop everything for everyone every time someone calls, texts, emails, etc? It seems the "Cry for Wolf" has created an interesting dilemma.

AND....

Due to the fact that a coin does not simply have two sides and has a rim or its depth side, there are times I expect others to be around. For example, when someone writes a thread I expect them to stick around in order to answer questions. So many times I see threads posted on here where the OP writes the thread then leaves or even goes as far as to say "I don't have the time to 'Deal' with this thread right now but I am posting it anyway". This to me is frustrating. If you don't have the time to "deal with" your thread don't write it until you do.

SO....

I am caught in this spiral of dos and don't s. Anyone have a happy median for me? Am I just being selfish? How would you deal with it?

Thanks for reading and I look forward to your replies.

I would record a simple message on my phone. "Can't take your call, I'm having some much-needed quiet time. Leave a message and I'll get back to you tomorrow." Let's the people know why you aren't answering so they don't get offended, gives them a time frame so if they don't hear back from you they can make sure you're safe.

I need alone time everyday. It's the way I recharge my batteries. I've even treated myself to a hotel stay in my hometown just for the peace and quiet.

I originally was going to respond to your title itself. I have always thought it was beckoned call, which always made WAY more sense than beck and call. However, before I hit submit, I did a Google search, and turns out, I have always been wrong. Damn.


On topic, I hate the assumption that just because you have mobile phone, you will answer a text/call immediately. Maybe you are busy. Starts way more fights than it should.

It does seem that as technology increases, vocabulary shrinks, and just because someone sends a message like "hai guise!&@%# wut r u up 2" doesn't mean I am going to understand and/or respond. Even if I do understand your message, I will not respond to it unless I am telling you to open a dictionary. Yes, I know what you meant, but I will have no part in the dumbing down of our wonderful and beautiful vocabulary.

reply to post by smyleegrl


That takes care of phone calls, and as long as there have been answering machines I have implemented this, however it does not answer for emails, U2Us, Texts, etc. As for "getting away" I too have utalized the hotels in my area for this reason as well, lgtm.

Thanks for posting.

Due to my love/hate relationship with my cell phone (only have because company pays for it) everyone besides work knows you better leave a message, because I generally don't answer. If it is an emergency, I will call you right back, other than that? Maybe. It's not that I'm rude, I just need my quiet time after work. I don't care who said what on facebook or whatever. My oldest son is actually the worst about this, and leaves grumpy messages about why I can't answer my phone every time.

reply to post by Daemonicon


Thanks for posting.

I'm glad you learned something today and to be honest after I posted this thread I actually questioned that myself.

You have opened a whole other bucket of worms with the short text form of communication and I am right there with you. I do use things like lol and in my last post I put lgtm(lightly giggling to myself) but for the most part I spell everything out. I realize that English is not a dead language which means it is still growing and changing, but I pray it does not go as far as to implement this type of word replacement on a grand scale.

Originally posted by Agarta
reply to post by smyleegrl

 

That takes care of phone calls, and as long as there have been answering machines I have implemented this, however it does not answer for emails, U2Us, Texts, etc. As for "getting away" I too have utalized the hotels in my area for this reason as well, lgtm.

Thanks for posting.

My email account allows me to set a "vacation message." So when I get an email, the vacation notice is automatically sent to the person.

I don't text, can't seem to figure the daggone thing out (I swear I'm under 40) but what if you just let a few close friends know you were going to be unreachable for a while? Of course, if you've got a gazillion friends, that could take some time....

I agree with your sentiments. It's also pretty disconcerting when you are actually with someone, having a conversation, and they start texting someone else. That's extremely rude. It used to be that if you encountered an answering machine, that made you angry. Today if you don't, THAT makes you angry!

As far as what you can do, if anything, I might offer the following ideas. (I won't even call them tips)

If you know you are going to be away for an extended period of time, (this will be individual to your normal schedules) try changing the voicemail to express your intended period of down time. If you know you are expecting certain calls, try and forewarn the caller.

If your absence is either unplanned, or will not be an 'extended down time' and your more in the mood of 'I just don't want to talk to you/anyone today/right now, don't do anything. If people get upset, let them. Do not let their anger and/or rudeness rain on your day. You are welcome to peace and quiet just like everyone else. If they don't get that, it's their problem not yours.

As far as e-mails, if you can set an out-of-office reply, that would be ideal. If you cannot, or you are using something like U2U, not much you can do. If you want to get into why you didn't respond immediately feel free, but you can always just say "I was busy, sorry" and they will have to understand. Again, if they don't, the problem is on their end, not yours.

Originally posted by Agarta
reply to post by Daemonicon

 

I realize that English is not a dead language which means it is still growing and changing, but I pray it does not go as far as to implement this type of word replacement on a grand scale.

If it ever did take over on a grand scale, I would gladly turn in my Earth Residence card, because I wouldn't want to live here anymore.

I can relate to what you're ranting about. There is no more privacy in our interconnected world. It gets tiresome. Yes people expect you to answer your phone or a message online and if you don't hop to it immediately, they either get panicky or offended....Like you're just sitting around doing nothing and you're deliberately ignoring them because you want to piss them off.

Naturally, if you need to call 911, they are to answer immediately, that is their function. However, we as human beings are not like 911, and we have a life. People need to respect that and not assume that people are available every second of the day and night.

As far as threads, don't write one one if you cannot attend to the posters that participate on it. It's a bit like being a good host or hostess at a party. Who throws a party and then leaves the house so the guests are all alone?

reply to post by schuyler

I cant agree with you more. I find it rude and disrespectful in most cases but, also in most cases there are exceptions. A parent must be available to their children or the sitter watching them it which cases or similar ones I understand.



reply to post by Daemonicon

I understand what you are saying and agree, I can set announcements to my availability, the problem is, with me anyway, is that, I am very much a free spirit living in the moment and sometimes, as the mood takes me, I'm off to experience some aspect of life at a moments notice and I find I am dealing with people exampled in your second paragraph most often. Most people I know in the physical world know this about me but the virtual world is a different story altogether. I realize this lifestyle does put me into this situation and at the same time I do not wish to appear rude by not replying right away especially due to my lifestyle I forget about past messages if I do not. Which reminds me I have avatar requests I need to get to. (oops sorry guys).



reply to post by Daemonicon

I am right there with you.



reply to post by FissionSurplus

EXACTLY

Thanks guys for replying and expressing your thoughts.

Originally posted by Daemonicon
I originally was going to respond to your title itself. I have always thought it was beckoned call, which always made WAY more sense than beck and call. However, before I hit submit, I did a Google search, and turns out, I have always been wrong. Damn.

On topic, I hate the assumption that just because you have mobile phone, you will answer a text/call immediately. Maybe you are busy. Starts way more fights than it should.

It does seem that as technology increases, vocabulary shrinks, and just because someone sends a message like "hai guise!&@%# wut r u up 2" doesn't mean I am going to understand and/or respond. Even if I do understand your message, I will not respond to it unless I am telling you to open a dictionary. Yes, I know what you meant, but I will have no part in the dumbing down of our wonderful and beautiful vocabulary.

edit on 18-5-2012 by Daemonicon because: (no reason given)

edit on 18-5-2012 by Daemonicon because: (no reason given)

Actually, writing in the text shorthand represents a higher order thinking skill. You have to have a firm grasp of the language in order to read st8 as "state.". I've read a few educational journals that have studied this and they all tend to agree.

Just wanted to share, no offense meant.

reply to post by smyleegrl


Absolutely none taken my smiley friend

I disagree, but I have never read any of those studies/reports. To me it doesn't require a higher state of thinking to put 'st' plus '8' together to form state. Most of them I can understand, but ones like 'plox' meaning 'please' I will never understand, and I don't think that shows a higher level of intelligence or anything of the sort.

All of my friends who write in that text speak, are, to be nice, less literate than most.