Imagine if Noah lived in the United States today and the "Lord" commanded him to build an ark to save the "godly" people and two of each animal. The
story might turn out something like this:
In a flash of lightning, "God" delivered the specifications for an ark. In fear and trembling, Noah took the plans and agreed to build it.
Exactly one year later, a fierce storm cloud covered the earth and all the seas went into a tumult. The "Lord" saw Noah sitting on his front yard
weeping. "Noah", He shouted. "Where is the ark?"
"Lord, please forgive me!" cried Noah. "I did my best but there were big problems. First, I had to get a permit for the construction and your plans
did not comply with the codes. I had to hire an engineering firm and redraw the plans.
Then I got into a fight with OSHA over whether or not the ark needed a fire sprinkler system and flotation devices."
"I had problems getting enough wood for the ark because there was a ban on cutting trees to protect the Spotted Owl. I finally convinced the U.S.
Forest Service that I needed the wood to save the owls! However, the Fish and Wildlife Service won't let me catch any owls. The carpenters formed a
union and went on strike and I had to negotiate a settlement with the National Labor Union."
"When I started rounding up the other animals, I got sued by an animal rights group. They objected to me only taking two of each kind aboard. Just
when i got the suit dismissed, the EPA notified me that I could not complete the ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed
"Then the Army Corps of Engineers demanded a map of the proposed new flood plan. I sent them a globe"
"Right now, I am trying to resolve a complaint filed with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission that I am practicing discrimination by not
taking the "godless", unbelieving people aboard!" The IRS has seized my assets, claiming that I'm building the ark in preparation to flee the country
to avoid paying taxes."
"Finally, the ACLU got the courts to issue an injunction against further construction of the ark, saying that since "God" is flooding the earth, it is
a religious event and therefore, unconstitutional."
"I really don't think I can finish the ark for another 5 or 6 years!" Noah wailed.
The sky began to clear, the sun began to shine and the seas began to calm. A rainbow arched across the sky. Noah looked up hopefully. "You mean you
are not going to destroy the earth, Lord?"
"No, I don't have to. The government already has."
edit on 17-5-2012 by Jakal26 because: Added a blank post....enter button is not my friend