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A post-apocalyptic story (Give me your thoughts and ideas!)

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posted on May, 16 2012 @ 06:56 PM
Okay, my biggest passion is drawing manga, Japanese comics. They aren't too different from American comics (except they're better... in my opinion, anyway). I love to make stories... they aren't big and famous or anything, but I hope for them to be a little more well known one day.

This new manga I'm starting, I'm halfway through drawing chapter three right now, is called Licentia (that's "Anarchy" in Latin), and takes place around 2067. The new world order pretty much destroyed every nation, it's economy, and it's pride. More than 80 percent of the population of the world died off due to a pandemic of a monstrous flu in 2030, and the deadly vaccine it came with. However, almost all of the elite died off too, because their catastrophic plans spiraled a lot further out of control than they had planned. Now, as the survivors of the world are rebuilding their own small societies, new establishments are rising--the few remaining elite are scratching together whatever they can in a desperate attempt to put things back together and set the wheels in motion to control the world once again (and, alternatively, destroy it again).

In the book, you'll hear a lot of references to the global elite and "the war," and what they're referring to is the great world war three, the one that crashed and clashed the nations (by design), and lead to a failing one world order, and the destruction of the order, and many innocent people, which lead the world to what it is today (in the story). Although, this manga isn't a very thickly drawn, detailed, gory, terrible, mature story... actually, from looking at the cover, you'd think it was a kids manga. The book is pretty much for all ages. There will be certain deep, serious things, but it's not all serious. I personally care more about the characters and their lives and relationships more than the storyline itself.

The official government in the story, which is basically whatever bits and pieces of the government are left alive after the war, are still working, trying to maintain order (even though, at this point, that hope is long gone, but they continue to break their own laws, function on tyranny, and preform on corruption, killing innocents), and they have many enemies. For example; the AL, Anarchist Legion, is a huge nation wide group of savage people, people who have been treated fairly badly, and who decent from the lower class who were slaughtered before their time. They call themselves "freedom fighters" and are commonly nicknamed by locals, the "AntiChrist Legion." They are wicked hearted, and their whole idea is "Freedom! No one will EVER tell us what to do! We are strong and you are weak, now suffer!" They have no rules. They hurt and kill just because they can, and their favorite way to kill is to hang civillians while their hands are tied behind their backs by thorn vines or barbwire, or hand them by the neck with torn vines or barbwire. If they hear of an illegal act, they will preform it, simply because it's illegal. Then, you have an enemy of the AL and the official government--the RP, the Republic of the People, a national group of refugee survivors who came together, made a plan, and established themselves as a government for the people, and vow to work forever without tyranny or corruption, and they vow to take down what remains of the official government as well. They are not official by any means, but they do an acceptable job in providing order and care for the people. The AL, the RP, and the official government are all direct enemies... then, you have the fourth group, one that isn't totally on the radar, one that's underground, one that's a bit smaller. It's called the Resistance, where my main characters reside.

The center character of the story is a fifteen year old girl named Taizela. She has scarlet, blood red hair and gorgeous, big blue eyes, and she's as charismatic as can be, and also very sweet, and strong (in the beginning of the story, she appears as kind of a cry baby, but she toughens up and matures quite a bit through the story). Her caretaker, Doc Jones, an eccentric scientist and inventor, has lived with her her entire life--and while living with Doc, Taizela never sets foot off his property. She had never been to a public place, and she never saw any other human being except for Doc until the both of them are forced to leave his home--which begins the story. Doc and Taizela are very close. Doc is a father figure to her, and the both of them have eccentric, fun-loving qualities, so they're never bored. They're best friends. Doc took Taizela in when she was a baby, because she was orphaned and had no family.

Then, Doc and Taizela are forced to leave his home (because Doc was formally working for the official government, and he found out they were sending assassins after him), and when they are attacked by someone, they learn that bullets don't affect Taizela. She isn't hurt at all by bullets. She is a bulletproof human being (she is bulletproof and fireproof, but she is still vulnerable to drowning, blades, and other things. There is a logical reason why she is this way, but I can't reveal it, or it would ruin the whole story). The first person Taizela meets is Steven, a sweet, mysterious silver-haired drifter who seems to run into Taizela frequently at random times in the story. He is a good friend of hers throughout the story, though the other chatacters don't know about him.

They meet Bruno, a massive, giant man with a heart of gold, and Taizela befriends him (normally this guy scares the hell out of people, but because Taizela is so nice to him, he only listens to her, no one else). He joins them on their journey. Later, they meet Miho, a Japanese girl with a rough exterior, and a cold attitude. She, along with her partner Kenji, are both founders of the Resistance, and are both assassins (and lovers). After a small, somewhat blackmail-like situation, Taizela, Doc, and Bruno join the Resistance, and Taizela meets Silvius, a slender, kind guy from England, who nearly dies from starvation in the middle of nowhere. When Taizela rescues him, he joins her as well. (Miho tried to shoot Taizela when they first met, and was shocked when she didn't die, or even get injured from the shot. That's why Miho wanted her for the Resistance, because of her immunity to bullets--but later, they became good friends).

I will probrably make more characters as the story goes on, but these are the main, base characters for Licentia.

As the story progresses, the characters get involved with, help, and fight the RP, the AL, and the official government. They loot, protect and enlist civillians, preform important jobs for the 'good' people, and speculate on how they can take their world back... and at the same time, they slowly uncover bits and pieces of one another's past, discovering more and more secret and shocking facts about one another... and Taizela will, sooner or later, find out why she has an immunity to being shot. I want to tell you all so bad, but I have a lot of shocking, surprising twists and endings, and I can't give them away!!!

I'm looking for notes, opinions, ideas, and any comment you'd like to say. Please tell me what you think, sorry it's kind of long, and if you read it, thanks for taking the time to read the entire thing.

posted on May, 16 2012 @ 07:56 PM
reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX

Sounds really good! I like your characters and the story.

Perhaps you could have a group of people trying to build a new life by trying new things as far as social organization, they are "The Fivers".

One of their theorists figured out that 'big government' exceeds human ability to conceptualize all the intricacies of optimizing resources and justice. So they invent a new society based upon the fact that humans can identify five objects without counting, any more objects and you have to count them to see how many there are. So we intrinsically understand fives at a glance.

With this idea in mind, they create a tree structured society where the most that any particular member can 'govern' is five people. This means that almost everyone is part of the government and that almost everyone has a clear "upward" and five clear "downwards" to take care of.

All processes in government are recorded and are available for "audit" through a simple bulletin board heirarchy. Any issues or injustice arising can be observed by all and a group of auditors raised to attend to the issues (under public scrutiny).

You, as the writer of the manga, need to then introduce conflict into the structure so that you have a story. Perhaps - how to deal with the violence of opposing groups. When ones ideals only work through pacifism and consensus, how do you go to war?

Also, never explicitly explain the structure of the fivers to your readers. Always let the ideas and ideals of the fivers be just assumed to be understood by all. Let the readers figure out what is going on by themselves.

Also, the main leader or, rather, "evangelist" for the Fivers is not the theorist. The theorist chooses to remain anonymous and there is an undercurrent of a suggestion that they may have 'moved-on' in their thoughts and no longer actually support the Fivers ideals but in fact are planning to implement further revolutionary changes that will potentially break the Fivers ideals forever and lead to a totally new society (this should only be spoken in whispers and have a nearly religious overtone to it).

Just my 2c.

edit on 16/5/2012 by chr0naut because: (no reason given)

posted on May, 17 2012 @ 12:27 AM
reply to post by chr0naut

Thanks!!! And I love your idea btw, that sounds more like the RP than anyone. And yes, I love when people have the skill and patience to lay the story out perfectly so that the readers figure things out on their own without having all the facts explained straight forward. You seem pretty intuitive about story telling. Thanks so much for your input

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