posted on May, 16 2012 @ 05:15 PM
Yes! My favorite breakfast! I use the following at restaurants:
Bacon & Eggs
Traditional bacon & eggs is a quintessential American experience. In other countries, unless they are specifically catering to American tastes, you
won’t find this on the menu. Unfortunately, as with any wide-spread and popular phenomena, quality varies. As we travel around the country, we eat
at dozens of restaurants. We’ve just had Bacon & Eggs at your restaurant. This is how you rated. Your tip depends on how well you did.
1. Eggs over Easy
Fried eggs are flipped rather early in the cooking process. The idea is to ensure the yolk remains runny. There may be some of the white uncooked near
the yolk. Carol orders eggs over easy
2. Eggs over Medium
Fried eggs are cooked very much like #1 above, but the white must be completely cooked so that only the yolk remains runny. It is OK to have the yolk
just starting to gel, but it is NOT OK to have ANY runny white. That is slimy eggs. Michael does not eat slimy eggs.
3. Eggs over Hard
Eggs are cooked so that the yolk is cooked thoroughly. Nothing is left runny, but the yolk is not leather either. Learn how to cook eggs properly.
I Ordered: Medium Easy I got: Easy Medium Hard (circle one)
Scoring: 15 points per perfect egg. You can easily score a zero here for Slimy eggs or easy cooked hard.
Bacon: You are often at the whim of the bacon itself, but if you’re not serving good bacon, get another brand. Crisp bacon is best. Pork jerky is
much too tough, and soggy bacon is inedible. The number of pieces is important. How generous are you?
I ordered bacon. I got _______pieces of Soggy (0) Crisp (3) Jerky (1) (circle one)
Scoring: Number of pieces times type of bacon = total score:
Hash Browns: Kind of filler, but can be done well. Necessary for a full breakfast. The lowest form of hash browns is frozen and stuck in a toaster.
The best kind are those with some effort, such as “O’Briens” with onions and green peppers, or “Bushwhackers” which adds some cheese.
I ordered hash browns and got: Not available (-10) Toaster (0) Normal (2) Quality (5)
Scoring: Number of points circled.
Orange Juice. Surprisingly variable. Runs from orange aide to freshly squeezed, from lukewarm to ice cold, and from a tiny thimble to a generous glass
which is either crystal clean or smudgy. Scoring is a bit arbitrary here but can be generous for the perfect glass of “Not from Concentrate”
Coffee: We’re from the Seattle area, so do it right. If we can see the bottom of the cup, it’s not coffee. The best coffee is what we call a
“Double Short Americano” That’s strong coffee with no flavoring. Once again, scoring is a bit arbitrary because there are so many variables.
Service: Customer Service is where it’s at. That includes timeliness. We might be willing to put up with a slightly sub-standard breakfast if the
service is friendly, but not too intrusive. I DO NOT want more coffee if the cup is nearly full. I’m trying to get it to cool. And I don’t want a
meaningful relationship with you (Exception: red hair and green eyes.)
TOTAL POINTS: A perfect breakfast would get you over 60 points. We divide by three to get your percentage tip, so 60 would get you 20%. Screw up the
eggs and the score plummets fast. Comments may be on back.
You received _________ points divided by 3 = __________ x price of meal = Tip of _____________