What would you do if...(Everyone 40 and older, please answer)

If you're 40 or older, it may help you to know that you're not only helping me, but many many other individuals around my age group.

I'm 21, and I'm about to turn 22. I have a general question for all of you that are of age (as specified in the thread):

If you were in my shoes (or your own shoes at this age) what would you do differently in order to ensure that you enjoyed the hell out of life while constructing the proper foundations for a happy and lucrative future?

Before you answer, I'll give you my basic situation in bullet form (If any younger individual would like to do the same in order to maximize the advice potential, you are welcome to do so. I am posting positives and negatives):

~I'm 21, about to turn 22
~I graduated College less than two weeks ago with a BA in Political Science/Concentration in Legal Studies
~I'm going to a T1 law school in the fall
~I do have loans, but my parents are helping with those (thank the Infinite Source for that)
~I have a lot of friends from University and Highschool
~I don't necessarily talk to all of them on a regular basis...sometimes I forget about them, or just don't care enough to contact them...even with facebook
~Sometimes (see: a lot) I find that I don't take opportunities that are not related to my direct destination. Meaning, I will sometimes shrug off chances for study abroad, weekend social building activities, and campaign events because they don't directly contribute to my goals.
~I do tend to try to help people as much as I can in the way of notes, studying tips if I've taken the class, passing on my LSAT books, petty donations, picking up people who've been knocked out in a bar etc...(the little stuff)
~Sometimes I allow the stress to get to me.
~Sometimes I'm frightened to all hell when presenting in front of large groups, and other times I'm confident. I can't control it...yet.
~Not on any meds now. (Most I've been on was Allegra)
~I'm not going to lie, sometimes I wish for a huge economic crash or alien contact so that everyone would be relatively free from the rat race (I know how idiotic and selfish that sounds, especially since all of my benefits and opportunities come from the current system and the hard work generations have invested into it. It's a negative quality of mine)
~I'm trying to gain a stronger sense of spirituality, maybe even ego death if I'm lucky.
~I love writing (Check out some of my short story threads)
~I work out and lift very regularly
~I'm not too tall or too short, average height.
~I tend to spend a lot of time on the internet, writing, meditating, and generally hanging out by myself or with my parents on holidays
~Particularly handsome (Ego is showing)
~Never had a girlfriend...never really wanted one
~Not inexperienced with ladies
~Have some wild plans for where I want to take my law degree and what I want to do with it (Can't say, sorry)

So...that's the skeleton version of my life. If you were in my shoes, or if you found yourself as a 21 year old again...what would you do?

I'm looking for some sage like or even asinine advice. Wisdom is found in every corner, especially in the experience of the elders. So, lay it on myself and other youngsters: What would you do in contemporary society to maximize fun, relationships, marketability, career opportunities, happiness, and most importantly LOVE.

Let me say this:

I'm asking because I trust that you all have a lot to say. No, I know that you all are full of great advice on how to enjoy this experience. You all have been there once. There is great wisdom in your hearts, no matter political affiliation, religious belief, race, creed, or gender. I disagree with a lot of you on this site, but I respect the older members immensely. We may bump heads sometimes, but there is respect on this end. I think it's a feat worthy of praise that you've gotten as far as you have in life without throwing your hands in the air and giving everyone a rude gesture. You all are awesome, just wanted to let you know.

Get that law degree, if its your dream. Do with everything you have and don't look back, you'll turn to salt

reply to post by ValentineWiggin


Got it, will do. I'll definitely chase my dream with fierce tenacity.

“Where ever you are, you’re there”.

Life has a way of throwing you the unpredictable. No one person can say what ones future will hold. I’m 44 y/o, and I have seen enough in my life to know that tomorrow is just another day with uncertainty. I have been thru the good, the bad, and the ugly, and I have learned much from it all. If I had the chance to go back and change things, I wouldn’t. I am very content with who I am. I have been thru a lot of terrible instances in my life, but I think it’s all those things we experience in life that make us who we are.

I would try not so hard to think about it all. I know we all want to make the right choices in life, but sometimes bad choices give us the opportunity to learn more. It also gives us character.

If you have dreams, make them happen! Don't let anyone or the world tell you differently...

Don't live the life anyone else wants you to live. Live the life you have a passion for living.
Follow your dreams. Do what you love, and have a passion for.
Do what has to be done now, so you don't have to go back and do, or redo it later.

Lets try that again.

And always remember. Neither success nor failure define the person. It is the person who defines both.
That may not make sense to you now, but it will later on.

reply to post by TheOneElectric


I agree with the poster who replied to you...get your law
degree first.Get yourself established in the lifestyle that you
want before getting seriously involved with anyone.
I would think twice about facebook,I have never been on that
site.I have heard stories of things people said there being used
against them later.
I am a 57 year old grandma,I never went to college,I did go to a
floral school.

reply to post by TheOneElectric


Dear TheOneElectric,

In my early 50s and raised three kids with the youngest being your age. I will give you the same answer I give everyone else when they ask me this question. Choose to work within something you are passionate about. Assume that you will work for 40 years, ask yourself what you want those 40 years to mean. I meet many people who retire and regret their career choice and feel that they have wasted their lives. You don't want to be that person.

Don't worry about money, you can make money in any industry if you learn the industry. Know your industry better than anyone else. While we might all enjoy being born wealthy, the fact is that most of us will work 8 or 9 hours a day, make that time worthwhile. Live your morality, don't sell out your soul.

A true story. About nine years ago I attended a retirement party. One of the attendees was a old boss of mine. During his career he had rose to the top of his classification and I had recently taken his old position. I had not seen him in a few years. During the course of my career, I had made some big changes to our industry. When I worked for him16 years ago, he had always tried to stop me from changing things. He believed that you went along with things and not shake the boat. At the retirement he stopped me and told me that he had been wrong and that he should have made certain changes. After he retired, he dedicated his life to helping others in his church. I never even knew he was a believer. You don't want to regret your choices regardless of how they turn out, the issue is did you live your life and can you look yourself in the mirror as it is ending.

Just my thoughts in response to your question. Best wishes on your journey.

I am dangerously close to 40..close enough.

Some very basic advice I guess would be:

Remember that long after people talk to you, they won't remember what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel...so, keep that in mind when talking to people...temper your words with approprate themes of feelings and you will have long term friendships, even if you disagree with everything they said.

Being with a partner (girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever the case is) is about liking the person they are without sacrificing who you are. There is someone out there that will like who you are..so, don't pretend to be different, else you will just end up wasting tons of years acting like someone your not..and that leads to disaster in the long run

At 22, you don't know who you are...no worries, chances are at 42, you still don't know...at 62, you simply accept thats who you have been so far...most everyone has those moments wondering if they are doing their life right...

Pay cash whenever you can of course...debt sucks...but do build up your credit...always handy to have good credit.

Travel..get a flipping passport and spend a considerable amount of time overseas..wherever you can go, just go..don't overthink it..just get on a plane and go...the more differences you see, the more you will understand who you are.

I would highly recommend a commitment to get interested in something that is ever changing and relevant..be it computer science, video gaming, etc...this will not only give you endless entertainment, but it will keep you sharp (gotta keep researching the latest trends, understand the new tech coming out, etc), and keep you by default aware of pop culture. So ya...get a hobby...and chase it strongly...your career may change 10 times over your life, but your hobby will probably remain constant and give you a grounding.

If you can't pretend interest in sports, there is always politics. Same thing, different uniforms. arguably equal relevance to your life.

There is endless widsom to be given, but really it comes down to this:

Figure it out yourself...thats half the fun.

You seem to be on the right tract, seeking advice and all. One thing I have experienced is how "intellectuals" want to "help" in every aspect of our lives. DO NOT become conceited in your knowledge and education. The old adage of the truck stuck in an underpass and the police, firemen and everyone scratching their heads about how to get it out...10 year old says, "Let the air out of the tires"...Wisdom and intellect are two different thoughts. I do jobs where we are in contact with engineers and so many are visionaries but their application skills are laughable. My sister in law has a masters degree in special education and cannot get hired because she got her masters first and the schools cannot afford to hire her with her advanced degree! 41 year old substitute teacher with a masters...Keep seeking and watching and learn from others mistakes. Have as much fun as legally available while you can.

1. Make your career what you love to do. It will not seem like work then.
2. Fall in Love. This is as exciting as it gets and makes a lot of other stuff seem meaningless.
3. live like a pauper now so you can live like a king later. In other words, don't over extend yourself.
4. Always remember manners. Good manners often trump other deficiencies especially while career building.
5. Have fun because you will blink your eyes and before you realize what happened, you will be eligible to answer these questions yourself.

Good Luck!

Set goals daily and long term. don't give up, just change direction its OK to be wrong just correct it. Make friends carefully, that lift you up and truly care about you, and you be that to. What ever you want then give it Love, Help etc. Listen and be slow to speak. If its to good to be true, it is 99% of the time not true. When you say you are nervous its not a bad thing its your senses giving you input on the thoughts of others which are usually judgmental. Don't take offense its the bate. Its OK to set boundaries, Remember laughter clears the air.
GOOD LUCK on your adventure of life.

Not necessarily in this order
1. Do NOT let a woman interfere with your goals.
2. Travel as much as you can
3. follow your heart
4. Do not let opportunities escape you in relation to the limited scope of your education goals.
5. take risks
6. Remember that age plays a part. With youth you have time to recuperate from your mistakes.
7. The most important part of your quest is the people you encounter along the way.

Good luck my brother

reply to post by TheOneElectric

Get all the education you can, but do not necessarily jump into that lifetime job, get married, get a house and get in debt.
This works for many but given a choice, retrospectively, I would not 'settle down' until I was 30. I am 45 now, and looking back, so many people(friends too) went right into a career, got married, had some kids, got into debt and then wondered if they should have done something different in life. Granted there are also plenty of folks that have followed that path and are happy too, but I think the expected social norms of college, career, family, right out of high school are not for everyone. There is plenty of time to delve into commitment.

Save money and/or get some type of retirement going FOR SURE! Consider further developing yourself via spiritual, artistic, exploring our world, or something less conventional. We are some pretty amazing entities, and there is much to experience, inside and out.

Stay away from pills and hard drugs, for they can alter you in ways that are so detrimental, you can't even fathom it right now.


Travel and see the world and other cultures.

Live anywhere you want, even if just temporarily.

MODERATION with so many things, excessiveness can steer you off track.

Get involved with some type of volunteer work. I work for Habitat For Humanity sometimes and it has been one of the most rewarding experiences.

Keep taking good care of your health.( Sounds like you already value this)

Get a car that has the best track record for low maintenance and reliability. For me it is a Toyota 4Runner. I have had it for 11 years, put 312,000 on it and have only had to replace brakes and timing belt....ever!

Beware of taking in too much information, for it can disconnect you from some other important areas of life, and some of your intuition.

Best wishes Electric
Peace,
spec

~I have a lot of friends from University and Highschool
~I don't necessarily talk to all of them on a regular basis...sometimes I forget about them, or just don't care enough to contact them...even with facebook
~Sometimes (see: a lot) I find that I don't take opportunities that are not related to my direct destination. Meaning, I will sometimes shrug off chances for study abroad, weekend social building activities, and campaign events because they don't directly contribute to my goals.
~I do tend to try to help people as much as I can in the way of notes, studying tips if I've taken the class, passing on my LSAT books, petty donations, picking up people who've been knocked out in a bar etc...(the little stuff)

----------

Keep the dearest friends close. Make the effort to keep yourself a part of their lives. Quantity doesn't matter, only quality.

Your studies are more important than new social gains but there is value in new opportunities. Personal growth from being exposed to new people, thoughts, ideas and skills is just one part of it. Networking for future opportunities is another.

Keep helping others. A helping hand is not a hand out. And, someday, if you feel yourself slipping down, you will have people there to bolster you.

Find something to laugh about everyday.

Tackle the Sunday crossword puzzle even if you have to work it on Thursday.

Learn the serenity prayer, recite it often.

Have faith in the people surrounding you.

Don't engage in online epeen contests. If it helps, there is saying that my dad taught me, "Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and it annoys the pig."

reply to post by TheOneElectric


Wow, I didn't know you were 21 years old. I thought you were older.

Just from reading your little bio there, we seem to have some similarities, except I'm trying to attain my BA in Anthropology. This probably has been stressed enough already (throughout freshman year in college), but time management is a quintessential part of being successful. I had to learn that the hard way when I almost found myself being academically suspended from college. I absolutely had no excuses because my parents were paying for my tuition, I had no job and basically everything was provided for me. Thankfully, this slump (it all started in 11th grade) is finally over and I'll be a rising junior with my head on straight.

I'm 20 right now and I still have much to learn. Ultimately, I'll have to change myself before I continue my aspirations and you should do the same, for the better.

P.S. - Where did you find your avatar picture? It reminds me of G.I. Joe for some reason lol

don't get addicted or abuse any substance (mine was alcohol 3.5 years sober now:up
Keep asking questions, that's a good quality so keep it up!
Enjoy your age and daily struggles, you will use them later as part of your "old sage" routine
Keep taking care of your mind and body, you'll never regret not getting out of shape and keeping all your teeth
Stay positive and compassionate to everyone you meet, even those who aggravate you
loose any prejudices and superior attitudes you may have. Your hate only hurts you.
Keep loving your family, I noticed you made a positive mention of them in your post

I think your on the right path and well ahead of many people your age
Love and enlightenment first, money a far second or even third. do what you love and fortune will follow.

Don't let your kids become soldiers or hedonists.

Advice from a 52 year old father of two college kids who love their family and life and are happy!
That makes me a success!!

Thank you all, the advice is excellent. I guess I'll take up some of those study abroad opportunities. I'm definitely more inclined to travel now. I'll also throw my heart out there, and remain who I am while doing so.

I'll make sure to remember that in this journey, it's all about following one's passion. Apparently I can't go wrong there. I'll make sure to keep that in mind every single day. Most importantly, I'll be sure to take the time to smell the flowers every few feet along the road of life. It's not about finishing the fastest, or making the most money. It's about enjoying one's self, finding one's self, and being able to love. Like another poster said: make sure you can look at yourself in the mirror when it's all said and done.

Thank you everyone.

reply to post by TheOneElectric


Oh man... Ok, I just turned 44 at the beginning of May, and I would say:

Continue to stay unattached until you finish law school and start your career. Don't bypass any more of those opportunities to travel abroad, in fact seek them out if you can. Look for "travel on a shoestring budget" hostel hopping type opportunities. If not abroad, take road trips within the country. Eat things you would normally never try. Do activities you haven't ever done before. Do as much of it as possible without texting it or tweeting it, or facebooking it. Try to experience it for yourself right now, and not by thinking about it later, after you've put it out for others to read about.

You will meet the most interesting people by traveling. Don't take pre-planned golf-trip type vacations, but get off the beaten path! It will really broaden your horizons. You will meet fascinating people with interests that will peak more interests in you. You will be told stories and find that you have stories to tell. Your confidence will definitely increase. You may even open your future career up to working on international cases. Pursue what you are passionate about passionately and don't let anybody deflect you from your goal.

Don't settle! Don't get into a relationship yet. Do not get into a relationship yet. Absolutely do not get into a relationship yet. If you do, you can expect to settle for a compromise, as that will be best for the relationship, as indeed you should. Take this one, brief shining opportunity to really focus on your own dreams and goals, without any concern for another party. It is the only time you will ever have the chance.

Remember your parents' birthdays and try to send greetings, or call. It makes us feel good and we really appreciate it.

Best of wishes... Live well!

Outstanding replies here I wish I would have had access to this advice when I was 22 but it would have been pointless because in those days I would have cheery picked and only followed advice which suited my silly agenda at the time. Along with agreeing with a huge percentage of the advice above I would add only...Never in your wildest dreams stop being a student. Long after you graduate and are well into your career choice remain a student of life if you will. It took me 43 years to realize I needed college education and two more to acquire a diploma but it changed my life in many ways especially in the financial sense. I would change zero, not a second of life thus far because the lessons learned in the ups and downs were invaluable lessons. Choose your career wisely, as others have said, make it something you're passionate about. You don't ever want to crawl out of bed because you have to go to work, you want to leap out with vigor because you can't wait to get at it! Follow your instinct and your heart...Good luck