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A Drunken Man in a Nameless Land [TFTG]

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posted on May, 14 2012 @ 11:14 AM
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Nessich awoke to the sound of bells surrounding him. It took a few moment for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, but even in daylight there would have been little to see. All around him was a vast wasteland, abandoned by it's inhabitants many eons before Nessich arrived in the place. No name had ever been given to the land he layed upon. Even when the magical creatures of old existed, the land was considered to be cursed, and to give it a name was to aknowledge the evil that dwelt within. It was simply known as the place you didn't go, but Nessich was there, as was the sound of the bells.


He had been given a chance to do a great thing by the one known only as First. They met in a small pub that was hidden in a dark alley near the rundown dwelling that Nessich lived in, if you want to call that "living". The dwelling was more of a place for his body to crash until the effects of the previous night's drinks wore off enough to allow for further consumption. Nessich actually spent more of his time and money at the pub than he did his home, and if not for the insistence of the barkeep to clear out at the end of the night, his dwelling wouldn't even be required.


It was getting late the night before his arrival in the nameless place when First appeared at the door of the pub. Nessich didn't trust him from the start. There was just something wrong with his eyes, but when First offered to buy him a drink, that was quickly overlooked. He didn't need to trust a man who was willing to further his intoxication. He only needed to see the coins in his hands to befriend him, for what better friend could he make than one that would pay for his drink.


Their conversation started innocent enough, but quickly turned to more mysterious words. When First told Nessich that he had been chosen to do something special, Nessich just laughed, finished his drink, and crashed drunkenly to the floor. The sound of his mug shattering on the ground was still lingering in his head as he passed into the dreamworld, and that's what he thought the bells were when he first awoke in the nameless place. Their ringing was growing louder and louder as he struggled to his feet, their echos beating inside his head like a hammer.


After several attempts, Nessich finally found some balance, but his vision was still too blurry to penetrate the darkness. The only thing he could see clearly was a large stone a few feet from him that seemed to move when he looked away. The bells had to be coming from there he thought. There was nowhere else they could be coming from. Slowly, Nessich staggered toward the stone. The ringing of the bells were growing louder with each step. A few feet from the stone, he lost his balance, and fell face first into the stone. A trickle of blood ran from his mouth, leaving a small pool of red on the surface of the stone...and then the stone spoke.


"Who awakes the stone of old, that rock the broke the ancient code? Who dares enter the land without name, and risk it's life and and brain insane?"


Nessich lifted his head from the stone. The ringing of the bells had passed, but the voice that took it's place was even more frightening. "Who said that?", he asked. "Where are you?"


"Again the same in the land without name, a place so parched and void of rain. I am the stone who drank the gold, and revives the story of torment and pain." With a flash of light, the stone became a man. "I am the Sorceror of Stone, the Wizard in the Wood, the Beast of the Blackness, the Man of No Good. Here I stand in the form of man, worship me, and kneel in sand."


Nessich shook his head to try to clear last nights drinks from his brain. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and told himself that this is just a dream. When he opened them, a great tree stood before him. In the darkness, the top of the tree was hidden from view.


"You are not welcome in my land, you do not kneel before me in sand. My evil game you must play, now choose your fate, or go away", said the tree.


Nessich didn't understand. Riddles and words were never something that he was good with. "What do you mean you evil tree, or stone, or man, or whatever you are? What do you want?"


"To play with you, to drain you blood, to drink your life, to fill the night. Each of us must drink our fill, the one that loses pays the bill. Choose your poison, but choose it well, for when you lose, you will see hell. Little man can't you see, nothing here can out drink this tree."


This sounded hilarious to Nessich. He convinced himself that it was all a dream, and if it was a dream, he would have the best. "Very well. I want the most expensive ales the world has known, and a good mead to wash them down."


The tree glimmered with light for just a moment, and a table full of ales and mead appeared before Nessich. "So now we drink. Who will drink the most? I'm the Wizard in the Wood...you a ghost."


Upon hearing the words coming from the tree Nessich burst into laughter, took a long drink of an excellent ale, and said "Well now tree, I took my drink. Now I want to see you take a drink of water, for that's what trees need to live."


The Wizard in the Wood knew he had been tricked, for there was no rain in the nameless land. Not one drop had fallen since he had destroyed the magical creatures of old. In a flash of light, the tree became stone. Nessich laughed a hearty laugh, looked at the table still filled with the strong drinks.


"Can't let these go to waste," he said.


After a few hours of drinking, Nessich fell asleep at the table, empty mugs littering the ground around him. In his dreams, he saw a man standing on a stone, laughing. He awoke to the sound of glass breaking, opened his eyes to see the barkeep of the small pub picking him up off the floor, and telling him it was time to go home. Slowly, and drunkenly, Nessich made his way to his dwelling place. When he arrived, a small bell was sitting upon his doorstep.


In the land without a name, the man name First sat in the branches of a great stone tree. "Once again the land is mine. The Man of No Good is no more and petrified wood is all that is left. My evil will now control the land, and it shall be given a name. My land shall be forever be known as __________ , and hidden within the name, we shall play a new game."



*Note: The name given to the "Nameless Land" will be revealed in a future story.


Enjoy...Star and Flag if you like the story (that's how these writing contest work...
)
edit on 14-5-2012 by isyeye because: (no reason given)




posted on May, 14 2012 @ 11:20 AM
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reply to post by isyeye
 

Cool. This is actually a new genre for me.

Nice story. More please.

S&F



posted on May, 14 2012 @ 11:23 AM
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reply to post by beezzer
 


Thanks Beezzer...I appreciate the kind words as always.

I'm on my way to read your story. It will be brilliant as always. I'm looking forward to reading it.



posted on May, 14 2012 @ 11:47 AM
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reply to post by isyeye
 


Well done, the rhymes add mystery. More like an evocation of some sort.

SnF.

Nassich needs developed a bit more, as it appears something is causing him to drink so much. Hidden pain from the past?

Waiting to see.....



posted on May, 14 2012 @ 12:02 PM
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reply to post by Druid42
 


Thanks for the advice Druid. While writing, I've gotten quite a few ideas for a continuation to the story. I think I'll take your advice, and build up the identity of the main character a little. Doing that would actually work very well into what I have in mind. If I can get it written the way it's in my head, there's going to be a nice little twist in part two.



posted on May, 14 2012 @ 02:33 PM
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reply to post by isyeye
 


Here's the link to part II:

A Drunken Man in a Nameless Land -- Part II [TFTG]



posted on May, 14 2012 @ 05:16 PM
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Wow this is really good. i am so dissapointed with my own entry now can i retract it? lol


excellent job s+f



posted on May, 14 2012 @ 06:49 PM
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reply to post by Ph03n1x
 


Thank you...There are so many great short stories that get written for these writing contest, and so many great writers here on ATS. I'm honored that you liked my story. I'm working on part III, hopefully to be posted soon.



posted on May, 15 2012 @ 03:08 PM
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I read this two times.

The first time through, I thought: "Meh, rhyme."
But looking at it again I'm leaning towards the dialogue quite fondly.
It actually brings to me the Grimm fairytales, and also the Tales of Beedle the Bard.
In other words, I like it. I like it a lot.

Now, let me just figure out how to SnF. . .
(Is thoroughly consumed by being new.)


- Coel



posted on May, 15 2012 @ 04:24 PM
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reply to post by Coelacanth
 


Thanks for the comments. I'm glad you liked it. I intentionally stayed away from rhyming in part II, but there will be a return in part III. I was hoping to finish it today, but work got in the way.

As for being new, yes, it can be a challenge to learn how everything works on this site. It took me quite some time to become use to it. I've found that the search option can answer most of the questions a new member may have, but not always. It never hurts to ask for help when needed.

To flag a thread: Look for the "Flag It" box next to the number of flags a thread has, and click on it.
To star a post: Look for the empty star at the top of the post, and click it.

Thanks for taking the time to read my story, and watch for part III...it's getting close to completion.
edit on 15-5-2012 by isyeye because: (no reason given)





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