Am I cursed?

Last year when I was going to the lake my 93 honda civic broke down on me on the way there. We never got to go to the lake. Today, nearly a year later, we were going to go take the kids and meet some friends with their kids that are around the same age, grill some food and go swimming - at that same lake that we never got to go to. Well our car would not start - this is a different car - 98 ford escort zx2. Nothing was wrong with this car yesterday - no noises, lights, or anything, it ran much smoother and quieter than either of the other two cars I have owned. Last week we took the car on a 2 hour out of town trip, drove around the town, and a two hour return, with absolutely no issues. It just would not start today, when we were going to go to the lake, the same lake we were trying to get to last year when our other car broke down.

I'm probably looking too much into it but it just seems odd that my cars don't seem to want me to go to that lake. I mean this escort had a timing belt replaced a few weeks ago and hasn't shown any signs of problems or anything, all fluids are good, and has half a tank of fuel. No lights were on yesterday. It almost has me wondering if some kind of outside source does not want me going to that lake. Now I am no Christian and highly doubt it is God giving me some kind of sign. However, as an open minded Agnostic, I can't rule out that it could be a deity trying to tell me something...

If some kind of outside source is trying to give me a sign, which I can only assume would be telling me not to go to that lake, why does it have to break my car down to do so? If it is "god." than he/she/it isn't doing a very good job at winning me over, because my family has very little money and we NEED a vehicle, but we really can't afford to keep repairing, or buying other cars, and we absolutely need a car, my wife and I both go to college and our oldest son goes to a school in a different district. Public transportation isn't an option for us. We also do not currently live together and without a car my family would be spending much less time together. Plus just about any Summer job that either my wife or myself can even get is either somewhere that public transportation doesn't go, or at night, while public transportation doesn't operate. If it is "god" why does he/she/it keep trying to make things harder on me, when I am trying to live life the best way possible, I live by abtreat others the way you desire to be treated and help people out whenever I can kind of code, even complete strangers. I grew up in poverty and made some mistakes as a teen, but I learned from those mistakes. I could be making a much better living selling drugs right now, or at least marijuana - which I would have no moral issues doing, but I do not do that. My wife and I both try to do our best in college because we want better lives and we want to give our children a better life than what we had, and be able to help them if they need it when they are getting started with their own lives.

Anyway,our friend and her boyfriend just brought two cars and picked us up, we went to the lake. Nothing bad happened. Honestly everyone had a good time, I met that old friends new boyfriend, well they've been dating for over a year but because we are all so busy with real life we haven't been able to hang out in a looooong time. He seems like a really cool guy, much better than her last two, much more respectful of a person and much more responsible. So kids got to have a blast, my wife and that friend got to hang out some, and her boyfriend and I got to hang out - I got to meet a cool new person. I'm really not seeing the problem with us going to the lake... I mean it couldn't have broken down so today would have happened the way it did because they were going to meet us there either way.

So what does everyone make of this? Does the lake spirit not want me there because it fears that I will become a lake monster or what? This just doesn't seem like coincidence to me, if so it' an odd freaking coincidence. Do I just have some kind of weird curse where I'm not supposed to take my fat hairy butt swimming lol?

maybe its not necessarily you going to the lake, but what happens on your way to the lake. God forbid, you might have gotten into an accident or something.

reply to post by doomedtoday


Life really is what you make of it and by that I mean making the most of your circumstances.

If you want to see a sign it is what you are meant to see, if you do not want to see a sign it is not a sign.

I cannot and neither can anyone else tell you a completely correct answer as it is your experience and your life.

Follow your gut and do what you feel is right and you will not go wrong.

It sounds to me that you already know the answer, you just think you do not know how to trust your gut feeling.

The only person who is going to curse you is yourself by the way.

reply to post by doomedtoday


Always Listen to youre first INSTINCT! I dont think you are cursed! I think you have someone that has passed watching over you and youre family.

reply to post by Apollo7


That's an interesting theory that I didn't even think about. As I said, I consider myself Agnostic, certainly not Christian because I disagree with their popular bible far too much, and do not rule out the possibility of multiple higher powers, if any. While interested in learning about random religious stuff and different religions, I don't really car all that much, I just try to live what I feel is a good life and hope that if there is something better after this life/dimension/whatever, that I will get there without being expected to believe in or "worship" anything...

My grandfather did die 3 years ago though...
That is the only person who died that ever cared much about me, maybe it could be him...
But I still don't quiet get it. IF it is the "spirit" or whatever or my grandfather, than I wonder what it could be that he would be trying to tell me by making my car break down in what seems to me like an attempt to prevent us from going to that particular lake. I mean my grandfather was a really nice guy, he wasn't really a "smart" person, but he wouldn't break down my car and cost me more money that I already don't have much of, in order to send me some kind of a "sign." He could surely find a better way. But it really doesn't feel like that is what this is anyway.

reply to post by oneness86


You know, things like that do make me wonder...

I mean I am only 24.5 years old and already I have lived through some pretty crazy stuff, and had a harder life than the majority of people my age growing up in the U.S., not to say that others haven't experienced worse - even much worse - but mine has been pretty tough.

When I was 4 I got ran over and dragged under a car. Rather than calling 911 for an ambulance, my mother called my father from work. The doctors chewed them out because they said that in the condition that I was in, moving me without knowing what to do and whatnot could have been bad. According to my parents the doctors really didn't expect me to survive the night, yet here I type. I had to relearn how to walk after I recovered, but after a year or so I was more or less fine and ready to start school at the normal age.

When I was a young teen I had a bike wreck which knocked me out (no helmet because I was a moron who thought helmets were for losers). The crazy hippy dude from around the area claimed that he seen a car hit me and take off, but who knows because that guy went on with all kinds of crazy stuff, I've never been able to remember what happened, my last memory is just riding my bike and waking up to a bunch of people throwing a coat over me and not allowing me to get up and go home. 6 hours at the hospital, a busted up face and head - no stitches, and a broken arm, and I went home.

Now I never was much of a "religious" person. And as a child I HATED religion and religious people, maybe because my dad thought he could beat it into me... Oh and his favorite line was "spare the rod, spoil the child," which was often his excuse for a lot of the beatings I would receive whenever he got angry/frustrated, even if I hadn't done anything other than ask him a question, and he didn't drink or use drugs. And my dad was always much harder on me than my two younger brothers, a famous excuse of his was "because you have the most potential." I did do much better in school than anybody from my family, especially in math and science, and my two brothers are dumber than a 2X4 - I mean they're nice people for the most part - they are both just REALLY lacking in the intelligence department if you will. And now I am the first and only one from my family in college.

I never had any fiends in grade school, was often bullied on. I have suffered from major depression since I was 5 years old, and have thought about death and killing myself often ever since 5, but have never and will never actually attempt suicide, especially now that I have a wife and two children to be here for, and as much as I would love for my pain and suffering to just end, I feel extremely guilty and selfish for even thinking about ending it and crushing them like that, needless to say that no matter what, I have enough reason not to kill myself no matter how bad the depression gets - it has been known to get pretty bad. I also suffer from borderline personality disorder, and have somehow been with the same woman for over 8 years now, we met in high school, and somehow, she has put up with all of my crap - trust me, their is a lot of it - for that long without ever really even complaining. I hate myself for some of the crazy things I've said to her/accused her of - that I never even realize I do until after its already done. Even though I had a lot of problems with violence from about 11 years old, I have never physically assaulted my wife or children, sadly I can't say the same for verbally - and as I said, I hate myself for it...

Once upon a time I actually did believe that there was a higher power of some sort, and I hated it. That was early childhood though. I started considering myself an Atheist when I was a young teen. And only recently have I started considering myself Agnostic. I will NEVER be Christian!

So if there is a reason for me to be here and continue living, I would really like to know what it is. I mean I almost feel like there IS a reason and I do have a purpose, I just really want to know what. Because IF it were the Christian version of a god, that god would have to hate me because I will never be able to accept some of the views of Christianity, nor would I ever want to. Well not "hate," but certainly be disappointed in me, and IF that is the right god I am not going to lie - I really don't care what it thinks. So why would I be so important? Why would I still be here when others much more deserving have their lives taken at early ages?