My ex wife and i split up when my daughter was just 4 years old and my son was 2 years old.
I did what any father would do and supported them with money, clothes, toys, food etc every week when i was working 24/7 and tried my best to keep it
She on the other hand was making life really difficult for me in that she refused me access until i got a court order.
Even with the order in place, either she wouldnt be in the house when i called, or make excuses so that i couldnt see them at all.
I used to take them out whenever i could which at the start was every weekend then at the time i was living just a mile away and constantly saw them
outside but she would take them in the house whenever they saw me and shouted out Dad to me.
My sanity was at breaking point and i had to move away from the town i had lived in since i was born or i would have cracked up.
I got a job driving trucks down to London every week a distance about 2000miles a week because i delivered all over the UK and that helped because i
was too busy during the day to think about it all the time, but i continued to send money to their mother every pay day and this was helping me and i
I found out she had been spending the money on drink and going out with other men, calling me names etc.
Last straw was when she moved without telling me and changing my childrens surname when she re- married.
I am skipping over a lot of the personal details but only giving a rough idea about what was going on.
I met my partner about 23 years ago and we have been married the past 3 years and without her, i would have met my daughter again.
She found her on Facebook by accident and we talked a lot on the phone etc but each time i wanted to meet her, she said her mother wanted to be there
also for whatever reason i never worked out. She was about 16 at that time and I had to walk away and leave it as i couldnt go through all that again
with her mother.
My daughter searched everywhere for me but couldnt find me, possibly because when i married i moved to a different area and now live 30 miles away,
Meanwhile, about just over a month ago, my wife found her again and also got her email address and wrote to her without my knowing.
She said she wanted to talk to me and see how it goes from there.
We talked on the phone for over 3 hours and she is 28 now with a little girl who has just turned a year old last week and a son who is 7 years old and
been with her partner 10 years now but not married.
She gave me her address and i gave her mine but she didnt want a meet until we knew me a bit better which i understood and agreed with her.
Following week after we had been texting and emailing every single day about 20 times each day, she wanted to come to see me by bus with her two young
I said i would pick them up,but said i would instead go to see her with my wife and she agreed to it right away.
We went to see her and the emotions for both of us were overwhelming in that tears flowed not with anger but with joy.
We wouldnt let one another go when we cuddled and it still brings a lump to my throat just writing and thinking about it.
Her son calls me the cool papa and thinks i am the best all around and even her little daughter smiles at me when she sees me.
I was back down myself to see her yesterday as my wife had a pre-arranged appt with her friend and couldnt make it as it had been made ages ago but
couldnt get out of it and wanted to come also.
We still text and email but now we can talk on the phone as all barriers if any are down now.
My son is stubborn in that he says he doesnt want to see me, but my daughter says he will as they are very close and knows he is just saying that for
now. I didn,t know he had watched me getting in and out of the car and wentbto see his sister 5 mins after we left and was asking her loads of
questions about me.
He is the spit of me as is my daughter. People have been shocked at how alike he is to me and my daughter and i like and dislike all the same
Reason i am writing this here, is that there are many fathers out there and mothers, who think they will never see their sons or daughters again.
There is light at the end of the tunnel, i am proof of that.
My daughter,s head was filled with things like your father walked out on us etc, but she now knows the truth as many people have even told her from
her mother,s side of the family and her mum has admitted it now.
Sorry for rambling on, but i am complete now, will be even more when i see my son as he has a baby daughter as well and i havent met them yet
edit on 11-5-2012 by Gazrok because: Added some paragraph breaks for easier reading.