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A channel from my dark side.

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posted on May, 10 2012 @ 12:30 PM
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What I hate about this world.


I hate the fact, that I am judged upon for feeling bad in situations. Sometimes I can't help it. People tell me to let go. Without further analyzing that maybe the person has over 100 things in their mind. I am aware people have it worse than I do. But pain is pain. No matter which way you look at it, it shouldn't be there.


I hate the fact that people reject others out of fear and assumptions. If you assume things about a person, why not do your homework and talk to that person? If you speak of compassion and understanding. Why not practice what you preach? Why not try and understand the person instead of trying to change them through your point of views? It seems to me, I have mastered this trait. But others remain in limbo. So what gives? I listen, and I understand. What I don't understand is, why do people contradict themselves? Never make a promise you cant keep.


I hate the fact that the food and water is being poisoned by those in power. It makes me feel cornered depressed, anxious. Every bite I take to eat, makes me question whether or not that food will cause harm to me.


I hate the fact that chemtrails cover my skies. I feel like I am being attacked. Surpressed. I feel like I am someone to be killed or quarantined like a virus. I miss the old skies.


I hate the fact that the news media lies to people every day. And that people remain asleep to it's corruption.


I hate the fact that nothing I do is ever good enough. Every thing I say or do, I still get judged upon. Why? because I am different? Because I have heart? Because i care? I used to think caring was a weakness. I tried to empower myself by becoming cold. After my last relationship sev years ago. I vowed not to fall for anyone. I vowed never to let this weakness take over.


I hate that people say they are friends, but end up doing the opposite. They instead contradict themselves by pushing others away. It's the same story of the world only different author. It has caused me to be paranoid on who to call a friend. It is why I have such a tight nit on letting people in.


I hate how people worship money and materialism instead of valuing what is truly important. I hate how im judged for not having a job or working my way through life. To many I may just be a beach bum, or someone to just step on, spit on, and pushed aside. Again where is the compassion and love people preach about?


I hate how Ego has taken over this world. How peoples ego's cloud their visions. Hell I admit my ego tends to become a loose cannon, but at the end of the day all I really want is to clarify my intentions. For I mean no harm to anyone. I try and stick by the golden rule. "Do unto others what you would like to be done to yourself."


I hate how I feel isolated, and no where to run. How every corner I turn, has a shadow or a zombie waiting for me. I realize, that me saying the word "hate" spells Irony in this note. But I am only human, I am not a saint, nor do I want or claim to be one. If I make a mistake I am at least honest about it.


I hate how my family and so many other families fight because of money. It tears friendships, family, and relationships apart. Almost 100% of the worlds problems is because of money. It is the source of "evil" and depression.


I hate how you dont have a fancy car, a woman will not take a second look at you. Same goes vice versa with guys. It is the shallowness that I despise.


I hate how I have to explain in 100 different ways to people that I am not what they fear. That I am but THEIR projection of what they fear. Fear is an illussion, the mind plays tricks and at times they become clouded in judgement because of a mistake one makes. They turn one small action and make it bigger than the world. And turn it against you. I am not the best writer in the world. I still struggle with words, and while this seem to be an excuse, people do not understand the word "autism" and that my main language is SPANISH. I am still learning words from the dictionary as we speak. And I am trying to write a novel!


I hate how unforgiving this world can be. I hate how the bullies in my past made me live in fear and caused me to hide. It has made me despise this world to a point where I would rather watch it burn. Even I have to admit that Gaia needs cleansing. But does this make me hate humanity as a whole? I dont hate humanity, I hate the actions and egos they bring. Of course my own ego is no saint either. The battle of duality has been taking it's toll on me and I have had heavy losses. But what makes me different than you?


I hate how people assume that I dont love myself. When I actually do. I simply have a hard time dealing with people I care about. Because I wish i could solve their problems. What happens to them affects me. Why is this so hard to understand? yes we ALL have to deal with our problems and I realize that talking about it doesn't help much. But it does allow things to flow, instead of bottling things up.


You want to know what a true friend is? Someone who is there for you through your bads and your worse. Only 2 people in my life has allowed me to be me and never held anything against me. . Others I havent known well, are still in my circle because i see good in them.

Despite all the crap I went through with others, all that has been done. I still have the abilty to forgive. I may hate, and become cold. But a simple act of kindness makes all the differences in the world and it's enough to soften my heart at times, unless im blinded with rage.. I am aware I am wrong on expecting people to stand by what they preach.



Sometimes we as human beings, need someone in the physical to talk to. Someone to hug or show appreciation to. To give and get affection, which to me is very rare.


I hate the fact that this world is ruled by lust, fear and fiction and not love. Love is divine, lust is ego based. My whole life I searched for what love actually meant. When I found the answer I was surprised. But I realized, that this world lacks love. This is why I have had trouble finding it.


Experiences is what makes up a personality. To judge me because of what I say or do or feel. You are ultimately judging yourselves. By rejecting me, you reject yourselves.



I am the black sheep. I am that kid that cried in the playground after being bullied. I am awakened to how the world truly is. I see things for what they are. I see things so many of you fail to see. Does this make me more special? No, it simply means I am a veteran in a war against ego. It means I have my scars of battle. And id rather die than to give in to egotistical beliefs.


I realize now, that everything happens for a reason. But I wanted to be clear on one thing. I am only human. Before you judge me, live my life, walk in my shoes, and feel my sorrow. That is the only way we can come to understanding one another.

At the end of the day. We are all one. One with Source, and one with eachother. If we ourselves do not change. How can we expect to see change in the world?






edit on 10-5-2012 by RisenAngel77 because: (no reason given)




posted on May, 10 2012 @ 12:41 PM
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I posted this here. To show the cause and effects of actions of day to day life. I am sure I am not the only one who feels this way.

But I hope this gets people to think on what is important in life. Compassion, love and understanding. Are the keys to evolution.



posted on May, 10 2012 @ 02:24 PM
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You sound like a wonderful insightful and loving human being. I would have never guessed that spanish was your first language. Do not feel isolated, there are many who are just like you here in this world. HUGS!



posted on May, 10 2012 @ 02:37 PM
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PHEW! Holy Wall of TexT, Batman!


Seriously - you are not alone...and I sincerely hope you feel tons better by getting that out and on, well, "paper", so to speak. You are one of many who are fed up with the shallowness of our society...the lack of empathy...etc...etc....BUT...I can say this - in the last year or so, I've noticed (at least in my neck of the woods) that people are BEGINNING to become kinder..perhaps more thoughtful in realizing that what we do to another, we do to ourselves...so...whos 2 know....



posted on May, 10 2012 @ 02:57 PM
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reply to post by RisenAngel77
 




I hate how you dont have a fancy car, a woman will not take a second look at you. Same goes vice versa with guys. It is the shallowness that I despise.


Being broke or poor is a litmus test for finding who your true friends really are. My brother first date with his future wife was in an old VW Bug that had no passenger seat, so she had to sit in the back. They love each other and have had a great 30 year marriage with three good kids. Don't despise the shallowness of others pity them for living a superficial life. They are missing out on want matters the most.

You sound like a decent person and I just want to say that hate will only bring you down. An attitude of gratitude goes a long way in making your perception of life bearable or even enjoyable.

Everyone has shoes that you or the rest of the planet hasn't walked in.

Star and flagged because you took the time to make people reflect about who they are and what they are doing on this rock.



posted on May, 10 2012 @ 03:43 PM
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From my heart, a deep gratefulness for you sharing this
Exactly we have to go deep, embrace all what is
Stop judging ourselves and eachothers
Start caring
Go deeper
Remember that we are all One
Same Source
Just like you put it so beautifully

ThankYOU



posted on May, 10 2012 @ 07:59 PM
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Wonderful thread, and shared sentiments. Try to self talk this by turning the words around, in the positive first tense,

I am aware of the world around me, and see through the distortions and negativity to the light within all, and turn all negativity into positive, my body transmutes all toxins to radiant health, and holding the frequency of awareness I transmit this to all on earth, helping others to awaken.

Its really hard to be here because even when you're trying to put your own life into perspective and strive to see those in worse situations, when you hold joy through the moments you can and keep positive self talk, the world is filled with so much despair, you wake and its been a terrible night for countless thousands, millions.



posted on May, 11 2012 @ 03:23 PM
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Great rant. You seem like a person I'd like to get to know. We could hang out and talk about what truly matters.
For I have virtually given up on the outside "material" world. (No sarcasm intended.) I see what people value on the outside, and it feels so trivial, unimportant. I don't deny that those things can create a lot of pain... in fact, that's part of why I elect to avoid them. Intentionally involving myself in worldly matters for the sake of getting hurt, just to strengthen whatever people say gets stronger due to hardship, makes little sense.
Keep believing what you believe. Your views are quite exceptional.



posted on May, 12 2012 @ 08:20 AM
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The 1st thing I noticed in your rant was I could/& have relate/d to everything you said.

The next thought was how close you are to a breakthrough. So ,so close.
You've seen the truth of whats wrong & are desperately trying to find a way to create positive change, & have hope.
The change lies in you & your perceptions. Keep going.



posted on May, 12 2012 @ 04:00 PM
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reply to post by jewells
 



can you elaborate more on this break through? Thanks in advance


@Unity, your post made me think. Thanks man.





posted on May, 12 2012 @ 07:19 PM
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Now THIS is what I'm talking about when I say darkness is just as important as the light. You need hate to fight evil, if you don't do anything you are ALLOWING people to suffer and you are not being true to yourself.


Thank you for speaking out against this EVIl, at least someone has compassion instead of focusing on light and pretending it doesn't exist..

edit on 12-5-2012 by arpgme because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 12 2012 @ 07:23 PM
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reply to post by RisenAngel77
 


S & F

Good rant..............join the club, you are not alone.

And it ain't gonna change until more people WTFU and rebel.

That red pill is a &itch isn't it.

edit on 12-5-2012 by ofhumandescent because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 12 2012 @ 07:39 PM
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Originally posted by ofhumandescent
reply to post by RisenAngel77
 



That red pill is a &itch isn't it.

edit on 12-5-2012 by ofhumandescent because: (no reason given)


Oh.. how that red pill was what you said.
I've been bottling things up for almost a year now. It nearly drove me insane. I really suggest people to say what they feel and encourage them to do so even if in the eyes of others it would appear "negative" but if one is open minded enough, you could see whats hidden deep within the dark veil. What would appear to be a monster could actually be a harmless being.

Sometimes all it takes is to think outside the box to arrive at an understanding.

Thanks everyone for your comments. I was actually surprised to read some of the responses here.
Glad some of you could relate.


edit on 12-5-2012 by RisenAngel77 because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 12 2012 @ 07:49 PM
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reply to post by RisenAngel77
 



You took the words right out of my heart.

Amazing.

Truly amazing because I could not bring myself to put the words to paragraph.



posted on May, 12 2012 @ 09:18 PM
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reply to post by AManYouALL
 


Here is a trick, "Let it all out in flow without hesitation."

people hesitate when being honest with themselves and this causes emotional blockage that eventually explodes if not let lose. If you hold it in, sooner or later it will pop going out of control. The more you hold back, the more unstable you become.



posted on May, 12 2012 @ 09:43 PM
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Originally posted by RisenAngel77
reply to post by AManYouALL
 


Here is a trick, "Let it all out in flow without hesitation."

people hesitate when being honest with themselves and this causes emotional blockage that eventually explodes if not let lose. If you hold it in, sooner or later it will pop going out of control. The more you hold back, the more unstable you become.


I did that once.

The problem is, truth can get you killed in this day.

Better to be wise and silent.



posted on May, 12 2012 @ 09:51 PM
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reply to post by AManYouALL
 


Yayh, but it doesn't have to be to someone or anyone in particular. It could very well be on forums like these or simply writing it on a piece of paper and reading it out loud in a solitary place and just burn it away. A friend of mind told me that one
.



posted on May, 12 2012 @ 10:02 PM
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Originally posted by RisenAngel77
reply to post by AManYouALL
 


Yayh, but it doesn't have to be to someone or anyone in particular. It could very well be on forums like these or simply writing it on a piece of paper and reading it out loud in a solitary place and just burn it away. A friend of mind told me that one
.


Burn it away you say....

Now that is sage advice.

Truly you are an Angel of the highest order. Ascending and descending, above me and below me.

Now even within me. I'll take it to heart.



posted on May, 12 2012 @ 10:08 PM
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reply to post by AManYouALL
 


Erhm... I make no such claims lol, As i mentioned, a friend of mine gave me that idea. if anything she's the angel from the highest order haha.

But thanks for the complement. I do feel a bit better now



posted on May, 12 2012 @ 10:13 PM
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Originally posted by RisenAngel77
reply to post by AManYouALL
 


Erhm... I make no such claims lol, As i mentioned, a friend of mine gave me that idea. if anything she's the angel from the highest order haha.

But thanks for the complement. I do feel a bit better now


A friend may have given it to you, but you shared what was given to you with me. Calling you an Angel for your efforts does not lower the deed of your friend, but elevates them also.

There are no coincidences, no accidents.

And each plays their part perfectly.



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